The innocence that remains inside of me
Darla, is what her name shall be
Running through the forest as if she were free
Wearing an old fashioned white dress with scrapes on her knees
The lightest shade of blonde hair that you ever did see
Dirt on her hands while her seat for supper remains empty

Darla, oh Darla, where might you be...
Chasing the butterflies and buzzing with the bees
Napping in the meadow is where you may find thee
Dreaming of Darla, she and I are dancing
Away with each other, where I wish I could be her and she wishes she were me.

She was kind of a mean girl
But I still loved her
Such a free spirt
Didn't give a **** in the world
She sang when she felt broken
Her body moved so gracefully when she had a good day
(Which was rare)
Yet the sound of her voice could make anyone fall in love

I sure did.

I appreciate your compassion. I recognize your desire to love and your joy in others' company. I notice your childish ways and your faith in love. I know that you live to be loved.

I once longed for you. I had no other desire above you than to absorb you completely. Feel your energy race through every synapse in my body and embrace you within every fiber of my body. There was once a time that I envied you. I envied you for remaining hopeful in the idea of love and being able to shut yourself away from the darkness that was once me. You found a safe hiding place inside of me that sheltered you from the storm for so long. And then there was light. And so you rose. You blossomed through me like a beautiful rose garden and shared your smile. You made me smile. You made me view the world differently and most of all you let love.

But your time has passed. I'd rather be alone. I wish for you to leave. Permanently. Pack what little remains of you and move out. There is no more room for you here. At this point I just wish for silence. You've brought many happy memories but you've also brought so much heart break.

Please understand, I am most grateful for the light that you have shown. And even though I ask for you to leave, does not mean someone else won't find value in you. Someone out there needs you; it just isn't me anymore.

the person you are
and the person you want to become
bear the same roots.
you are already her,
you just haven't learned how to be.
putting yourself back together is treacherous,
but you don't have to do it alone.

your very existence is rooted in worth:
the 12 percent of carbon in your body
is the same carbon that creates diamonds under pressure.
the .2 milligrams of gold in your blood
is the same gold people spend a lifetime trying to earn,
and having you in my life makes me richer
than I'd ever be with money.

broken is not synonymous with useless.
no matter how many pieces
make up a mosaic,
it will still reflect light.

Helpful.
Holding Hands.
Chatting over email.
Have a lot of fun.
Always there for each other.
Go getting manicures with each other.
Playing soccer and kickball with my friends.
We got to the movies,mall,and restaurants together.
Bella, Jenna, Darla, Saanvi, Rebecca,
Caitlin, Isabella, Thalia, Laxmi, Sophia.

Recollecting memoir of a more pleasant time

The old man vague

Bottle or flask

deceive or mislead they do the same

dolorous darla,

she weeps a wistful whimper

Old crows hitch the feeble matron seems to be attentive

assisting with her dollar bills and *****

white horse

cheap wine

time to portray the role as nix bedrock

I tried to not take us
so seriously because
in the wake of a long
stream of non-commital
commitments, I've
begun to understand
how intense I become
when someone matters
to me on a personal level,
that's why I left you alone
when I found out about Marla
and Darla and Carla and all
of the Lala's that you ******
and then you decided to be
different for a day (let's be honest.
more like five minutes tops)
and you found yourself
with the proud and loud
feminist, Mandie with an
i-e in your bed and I keep
telling myself, it's not the
feminists fault that she likes
men. This man. My man.
And so I decided un-invite you
to the party I'll be throwing
for you in honor of you
being accepted into so and so
acting program in the city.
I'll drink everything they
bring for you, **** everyone
that only loves you. I'll
leave your car beneath
some distant bridge,
**** your boss and
and take me a little more.
It's not your fault I didn't
take us seriously.
It's not your fault
the feminist liked
you more than me.

I wrote of Demond's that invaded me. Demond's that corresponded with my brain and danced with my soul. Demond's that abducted my heart and blinded my eyes.

I wrote of Darla, my idealistic alter ego. The one who dreams of romance and treads passionately towards it. The other girl inside of me who forgives and cries without remorse or regret.

I wrote of heartbreak and abuse from past lovers. The torment of a fractured heart and the loneliness that was left. The neglect from my childhood and the pains of independence. The confusion of men and the unanswered question of "How will I ever heal".

I wrote of my habitual infidelity and thirst for love. My attraction to danger and lust for something more. My deepest desires and most remembered experiences. My darkest fantasies mixed with a little chaos.

In all of this, I still feel the need to say more. Somewhere deep inside I crave to tell the world what's on my mind and written in my heart. Even in knowing I'll never say it all, I will always try.

Heart hard as coal
Black as a hole
Loneliness to fill the void

A bottle or two to
mend the pain
Bar to find a friend
or two

Time will change
the fading brawl
that will live forever
deep inside

Crushed against the wall
of bitter strife
Bona fide life is in
hours of darkness
It seems burden
of no significance

Void of Truth
Mends the ends
As loneliness seems to have found a friend

Darla Marr