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"damnable" poems
self-congratulatory nonsense as the famous gather to applaud their seeming greatness you wonder where the real ones are what giant cave hides them as the deathly talentless bow to accolades as the fools are fooled again you wonder where the real ones are if there are real ones. this self-congratulatory nonsense has lasted decades and with some exceptions centuries. this is so dreary is so absolutely pitiless it churns the gut to powder shackles hope it makes little things like pulling up a shade or putting on your shoes or walking out on the street more difficult near damnable as the famous gather to applaud their seeming greatness as the fools are fooled again humanity you sick ************
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13.9k
This
She comes to me with seductive expectation in her alluring grey eyes, Bewitchingly she crawls onto my lap, my chest. Our mutual desire for closeness quickening the mood She puts her arms around my neck, Our eyes locked in an intimate dance. I take her beautiful face in my hands stroking it's soft contours, as she closes her eyes pleasurably succumbing to the gentleness of my touch. She begins to softly purr.   We both understand these brief loving moments can never last, owing to my damnable allergy to cats, Thus, soon back outside she must ****
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Jan 28, 2017
Jan 28, 2017 at 3:04 PM UTC
Love Affair
Among pelagian travelers, Lost on their lewd conceited way To Massachusetts, Michigan, Miami or L.A., An airborne instrument I sit, Predestined nightly to fulfill Columbia-Giesen-Management's Unfathomable will, By whose election justified, I bring my gospel of the Muse To fundamentalists, to nuns, to Gentiles and to Jews, And daily, seven days a week, Before a local sense has jelled, From talking-site to talking-site Am jet-or-prop-propelled. Though warm my welcome everywhere, I shift so frequently, so fast, I cannot now say where I was The evening before last, Unless some singular event Should intervene to save the place, A truly asinine remark, A soul-bewitching face, Or blessed encounter, full of joy, Unscheduled on the Giesen Plan, With, here, an addict of Tolkien, There, a Charles Williams fan. Since Merit but a dunghill is, I mount the rostrum unafraid: Indeed, 'twere damnable to ask If I am overpaid. Spirit is willing to repeat Without a qualm the same old talk, But Flesh is homesick for our snug Apartment in New York. A sulky fifty-six, he finds A change of mealtime utter hell, Grown far too crotchety to like A luxury hotel. The Bible is a goodly book I always can peruse with zest, But really cannot say the same For Hilton's Be My Guest. Nor bear with equanimity The radio in students' cars, Muzak at breakfast, or--dear God!-- Girl-organists in bars. Then, worst of all, the anxious thought, Each time my plane begins to sink And the No Smoking sign comes on: What will there be to drink? Is this ma milieu where I must How grahamgreeneish! How infra dig! ****** from the bottle in my bag An analeptic swig? Another morning comes: I see, Dwindling below me on the plane, The roofs of one more audience I shall not see again. God bless the lot of them, although I don't remember which was which: God bless the U.S.A., so large, So friendly, and so rich.
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On the Circuit
Among pelagian travelers, Lost on their lewd conceited way To Massachusetts, Michigan, Miami or L.A., An airborne instrument I sit, Predestined nightly to fulfill Columbia-Giesen-Management's Unfathomable will, By whose election justified, I bring my gospel of the Muse To fundamentalists, to nuns, to Gentiles and to Jews, And daily, seven days a week, Before a local sense has jelled, From talking-site to talking-site Am jet-or-prop-propelled. Though warm my welcome everywhere, I shift so frequently, so fast, I cannot now say where I was The evening before last, Unless some singular event Should intervene to save the place, A truly asinine remark, A soul-bewitching face, Or blessed encounter, full of joy, Unscheduled on the Giesen Plan, With, here, an addict of Tolkien, There, a Charles Williams fan. Since Merit but a dunghill is, I mount the rostrum unafraid: Indeed, 'twere damnable to ask If I am overpaid. Spirit is willing to repeat Without a qualm the same old talk, But Flesh is homesick for our snug Apartment in New York. A sulky fifty-six, he finds A change of mealtime utter hell, Grown far too crotchety to like A luxury hotel. The Bible is a goodly book I always can peruse with zest, But really cannot say the same For Hilton's Be My Guest. Nor bear with equanimity The radio in students' cars, Muzak at breakfast, or--dear God!-- Girl-organists in bars. Then, worst of all, the anxious thought, Each time my plane begins to sink And the No Smoking sign comes on: What will there be to drink? Is this ma milieu where I must How grahamgreeneish! How infra dig! ****** from the bottle in my bag An analeptic swig? Another morning comes: I see, Dwindling below me on the plane, The roofs of one more audience I shall not see again. God bless the lot of them, although I don't remember which was which: God bless the U.S.A., so large, So friendly, and so rich.
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63
these 21st century writers / poets, think they'll make cheap thrills, and a load of bucks playing computer games at the same time: i'll be found as a suffocating salmon in their writing: boy play the game, expect prodigious output when your father becomes an art dealer rather than a market-stall merchant; irish idoot: listen, your father approached my father when my parents were taking canadian friends to the opera: you were a pristine stoner... and i a damnable drunk... like i said... you ******* leprechaun... king's insult when trying to turn a european into an african ready for cotton picking of an export; i took pity on james joyce... you didn't... you didn't even read him.
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Feb 6, 2016
Feb 6, 2016 at 6:13 PM UTC
fo' da' gamers
My country right or wrong we shall still sing her song and bombs away on you Bombs away on FDR we think he got away too far in giving peasants below, our merit, the audacity to inherit, our country 'tis only for me' We'll work you until your flesh falls off, nine till five is not enough, to sell our gizmos here and far, to gluttons all alike Ooops! (melody old man river) ...  Oh tote dat barge and lift dat bale, ya gets ah little drunk and ya lands in Jaaail Pull yourself by your own bootstraps, who cares if opportunity naps, while the "America Dream" fades away cause thirty years of us America ' tis only for me but not those signers of Democarcy in Philly where they took that oath, on that **** parchment I abhor, on that damnable parchment I ABHOR!!
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Sep 24, 2014
Sep 24, 2014 at 11:35 AM UTC
Conserve-a-turd-ism
*i hate to break it to you kid, i'm not mindful of narcissus' economics that's all oh so very modern...* but women are their own orbit, more chance to find a single mother than a single father... it's against nature to make the man without god, as it's against nature to make the woman with god... thus we have the tectonic plates making man with god, accepting or doubting, church or laboratory... and woman... an eroticism of jaw eaten faces... but a kiss to be a fingerprint likened to erasing the dangling of the bitten jaw... erased only once by the aphrodisiac of sirens' wail of aquatic opera so damnable that only one man heard it, while others scolded being in audience with beeswax... and by second chance, erased, indeed, but only by the suffragettes as the new nuns... as the new nuns dare comply to change, like every male become female and vice versa, and the popes disclose their continual loss of matrimony in their misogynistic involvement in ****** if i'm not the pope and do no encounter such practices, i'm not a pope at all! *only a ninth spoke as the necromancer, and of the nine spoke clearest, as it spoke, it dawned on me that sauron was invisible for the sword to strike, a gravity enveloping, a gravity envelope, rather than a skin of infinite diadem sharpenings, for nine rigs unto men, seven unto dwarfs, three unto elves, but none unto the orcs... strange.... ORC ARKHAN MORDOR ARRAC!*
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Feb 14, 2016
Feb 14, 2016 at 10:36 PM UTC
the famed aphrodisiac of sirens' wail / ORC ARKHAN MORDOR ARRAC!
Black eyes, Deep and endless. Shines a light, Bright and timeless. A kind smile, On a gnarled face. Handsome in his own way. Honesty. A lost virtue, In this wasteland We call home. Smoke drifts from a parted mouth. Escapes into the nothingness of the green-tinged sky. *"Moments like these, I know all that karma stuff is all bull."* Those are your words. Not mine. *"Because no one like me, should be this lucky."* There is no one like you. A man out of time, in stolen red duds. tricorn hat tipped to the side. That smirk, that damnable, smirk, plastered, forever to your smug mug. Your ruddy hand reaches back. Open palmed full of scars. To grasp my mine. Much smoother skin. "Come on love," you say, with your voice full of gravel. *"Lets get this freak show on the road."*
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Jul 8, 2016
Jul 8, 2016 at 8:41 PM UTC
Freak Show.
Poured upon the coldest plate Sensations I have felt of late, Oozing out in rhyme so thin To slit betwixt the blood and skin, Feelings I can best describe As mothers’ milk in ostrich hide. Feeling I can best project As crystal **** wrote circumspect. Turgid as the wrath in waves I feel my very soul depraves The values held within my breast, The turbulence portrayed at best As damnable as purple ink With oiliness of olive stink. This malady is best described As mothers’ milk in ostrich hide. Marshalg Victoria Park Tunnel 24 June 2010
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Jun 23, 2010
Jun 23, 2010 at 9:02 PM UTC
Malady
We are the ones, cast from the warmth and into the cold where lungs break down and hearts are left for the wolves. We bloom in the chill now. Like a hellebore bursts from the banks of snow. We have arrived where the exiled were bound to go - we've packed The Tinguit Inn and there's no vacancy. And yes, oh yes, we remember you, tugging at our bound wrists. We can see your eyes- - your damnable dark eyes, twist the chains around our necks. Gendarme, what say you? Where are your comrades now? Where are the revolvers you issued them as you said "Just in case of an uprising..." You know, son, we have a history of slitting the throats of our cousins over a handful of stolen grain. Imagine what we do to a thief who robbed us from the sails of our Mediterranean Sea. Look at the sky! The plateau and, beyond, our land that stretches to the shorelines! We are the exiled from the Tinguit Hotel, and yes - you will pay. Tu paieras.
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Feb 17, 2014
Feb 17, 2014 at 12:45 PM UTC
The Tinguit Hotel
Planting excitement upon us, My daughter asks how to thin the beets. "When the plants are three inches tall, Pick the weaker ones and pull them up," I say. "You'll take out two thirds of the young plants So the rest can grow." I see a troubled look upon her face, And realize what I find in myself.... The teacher's quandary: Picking whom to keep, Whom to cull... We put our love into them all. Watching for first and tender shoots, Celebrating as the fledgling leaves appear, Not thinking of a time ahead, Dreaded time to thin.... Teachers are reluctant to cull, Building emotional connection, Providing loving direction, Promising success to all.... Then come the standardized tests, The  team selections, The popularity contests, The invitations to slumber parties, The division of elites, The rising of divas, The rostering of first teams... The separation of pariahs begins, The promise we made to early learners ends, Superiors, exultant, drown out the tears Of those left standing by the fence, Excluded from the chances to advance. Standing in the seedling beds, Spring breezes rustling tender leaves, I turn to Kate.... "It's never easy.... But if we don't  thin the beets, The beets will not develop Beneath the leaves." These damnable analogies arise Infrequently these days, And I am standing in the dirt, Black soil upon on my hands, Wondering about survival of the weak, The treatment of humans and young plants, Pondering humane ways to honor every student In which I am investing... Wishing I could see the end of high stakes testing....
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Jun 4, 2015
Jun 4, 2015 at 12:29 PM UTC
Thinning Beets
Planting excitement upon us, My daughter asks how to thin the beets. "When the plants are three inches tall, Pick the weaker ones and pull them up," I say. "You'll take out two thirds of the young plants So the rest can grow." I see a troubled look upon her face, And realize what I find in myself.... The teacher's quandary: Picking whom to keep, Whom to cull... We put our love into them all. Watching for first and tender shoots, Celebrating as the fledgling leaves appear, Not thinking of a time ahead, Dreaded time to thin.... Teachers are reluctant to cull, Building emotional connection, Providing loving direction, Promising success to all.... Then come the standardized tests, The  team selections, The popularity contests, The invitations to slumber parties, The division of elites, The rising of divas, The rostering of first teams... The separation of pariahs begins, The promise we made to early learners ends, Superiors, exultant, drown out the tears Of those left standing by the fence, Excluded from the chances to advance. Standing in the seedling beds, Spring breezes rustling tender leaves, I turn to Kate.... "It's never easy.... But if we don't  thin the beets, The beets will not develop Beneath the leaves." These damnable analogies arise Infrequently these days, And I am standing in the dirt, Black soil upon on my hands, Wondering about survival of the weak, The treatment of humans and young plants, Pondering humane ways to honor every student In which I am investing... Wishing I could see the end of high stakes testing....
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48
Gay men are fit to love. Straight men are fit to curse. Save the trees. Save the whales. Save the seals. Save the vile criminal. **** the innocent fetus. Bush is hated for starting a war. Obama is loved for perpetuating it. Hating a black man Is racism, Despite his own actions towards you. Hating a white man? Expected. Smiled upon. Black Power? Okay. White Power? Damnable. A ******* Fit to marry. A Gentleman? Fit to trample. A man courting a woman? Accepted. A woman courting a man? Strange, unheard of. Not trying to be political. Not trying to be partial. Just trying to be social.
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Apr 8, 2010
Apr 8, 2010 at 9:05 AM UTC
Cultural Double-Standards
science has entrenched itself in stating that original humanism is an idiocy, science believes that only scientific humanism can suffice, and original humanism i.e. humanism not schooled in science is a waste of time, man's development watching paint dry, i.e.: i feel dumber writing a poem and not an equation to align to einstein's relativity. the english don't recognise long-term humour, a bit like the polish not able to recognise old school migrants of their mutual organic constituents speaking their tongue, they play it dumb, with statements like huh? what? om? the english are smart, let's not disagree, but their intelligence is short-lived, like their appreciation of humour, quick wit buckle stiletto (meaning an easy girl), they're intelligent in terms of how quickly you colt-drawn a six-shooter into conversation for a pick-me-up, the english have short-term intelligence exercised for humoristic attention, their long-term humour is used in defending democracy... the english have no long-term humour parameters, i'm guessing because of the celts... it's all short-term, i.e.: how quickly can i retort to a joke and choke on a whimsical mushroom that's an umbrella? hence the many innovations... steam engine... the umbilical cord attached to arabia... joke is quick... joking is quicker... tense social parameters of having a drink... laugh it up... drink alone. *they make slapstick damnable and satire exceptional, but their satire requires canned laughter, it's called satire but i call it lazy humour... look what slapstick gave us... charlie chaplin gave birth to adolf ******* ******
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Feb 20, 2016
Feb 20, 2016 at 3:07 AM UTC
umbilical cord of arabia
science has entrenched itself in stating that original humanism is an idiocy, science believes that only scientific humanism can suffice, and original humanism i.e. humanism not schooled in science is a waste of time, man's development watching paint dry, i.e.: i feel dumber writing a poem and not an equation to align to einstein's relativity. the english don't recognise long-term humour, a bit like the polish not able to recognise old school migrants of their mutual organic constituents speaking their tongue, they play it dumb, with statements like huh? what? om? the english are smart, let's not disagree, but their intelligence is short-lived, like their appreciation of humour, quick wit buckle stiletto (meaning an easy girl), they're intelligent in terms of how quickly you colt-drawn a six-shooter into conversation for a pick-me-up, the english have short-term intelligence exercised for humoristic attention, their long-term humour is used in defending democracy... the english have no long-term humour parameters, i'm guessing because of the celts... it's all short-term, i.e.: how quickly can i retort to a joke and choke on a whimsical mushroom that's an umbrella? hence the many innovations... steam engine... the umbilical cord attached to arabia... joke is quick... joking is quicker... tense social parameters of having a drink... laugh it up... drink alone. *they make slapstick damnable and satire exceptional, but their satire requires canned laughter, it's called satire but i call it lazy humour... look what slapstick gave us... charlie chaplin gave birth to adolf ******* ******
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32
The heavy smoke of war lay across the world it was laced with carnage and had the sounds of screaming Shells and the screams of the dying men but as it continued its drift at the far edges a cloud and mist Began to diminish the former and distil a brighter future there was the timid glory sounding the Harking tribute of childlike memories the power of innocence to diffuse the base and inhumane To spill across these scathing pages an ethereal presence that was empowering of good that Could and did straddle time and space with magnificence drawing from exploration and history That beheld the worst but mined the hidden gold to enrich the world it knew secrets that Exposed the damnable lies that bankrupted former empires we were created to be conquers Our mettle is an amalgamation of weak flesh but inherit in the confused and reciprocating Action ultimately a flash of inspiration leaps from the spirit the dead end near sighted flesh was At the wall of limitation now we stand at the zenith of the universe at its ever increasing of it Self this inestimable spring of well being floods the low plains we ford these rich waters Immediately our impoverished cares taste and smell the high and great call of hope we Instinctively open our heart and mind as a great sail we find our self in the envious position as a Seafarer our very sinew is awakened to promise and opportunity we have left far behind the Naysayers we see gifts of beauty spread everywhere where all before was drear now victory is Courting us to rise to even higher heights boldness infuses our demeanor we now throw off Yesterdays doubting with eyes that are no longer dim we see with clearest vision and with Steeled determination former days of being wistful vagabonds is forever forfeited we have the Right and the might that Lincoln addressed his generation we align ourselves with the high Ideals of past warriors and martyrs know this our enemies whatever your culture or ideals you Have come among a stalwart people and the foundations of our forefathers will defeat you the Same as others who came with inferior and demonized religions know this truth will and has Made us free look well to yourselves continue and your destruction is guaranteed check the Harbinger winds and save your selves from the only outcome that will befall you which is Destruction
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Jan 31, 2013
Jan 31, 2013 at 3:43 PM UTC
Harbinger
The heavy smoke of war lay across the world it was laced with carnage and had the sounds of screaming Shells and the screams of the dying men but as it continued its drift at the far edges a cloud and mist Began to diminish the former and distil a brighter future there was the timid glory sounding the Harking tribute of childlike memories the power of innocence to diffuse the base and inhumane To spill across these scathing pages an ethereal presence that was empowering of good that Could and did straddle time and space with magnificence drawing from exploration and history That beheld the worst but mined the hidden gold to enrich the world it knew secrets that Exposed the damnable lies that bankrupted former empires we were created to be conquers Our mettle is an amalgamation of weak flesh but inherit in the confused and reciprocating Action ultimately a flash of inspiration leaps from the spirit the dead end near sighted flesh was At the wall of limitation now we stand at the zenith of the universe at its ever increasing of it Self this inestimable spring of well being floods the low plains we ford these rich waters Immediately our impoverished cares taste and smell the high and great call of hope we Instinctively open our heart and mind as a great sail we find our self in the envious position as a Seafarer our very sinew is awakened to promise and opportunity we have left far behind the Naysayers we see gifts of beauty spread everywhere where all before was drear now victory is Courting us to rise to even higher heights boldness infuses our demeanor we now throw off Yesterdays doubting with eyes that are no longer dim we see with clearest vision and with Steeled determination former days of being wistful vagabonds is forever forfeited we have the Right and the might that Lincoln addressed his generation we align ourselves with the high Ideals of past warriors and martyrs know this our enemies whatever your culture or ideals you Have come among a stalwart people and the foundations of our forefathers will defeat you the Same as others who came with inferior and demonized religions know this truth will and has Made us free look well to yourselves continue and your destruction is guaranteed check the Harbinger winds and save your selves from the only outcome that will befall you which is Destruction
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26
Who knew life would last so long. so tedious and constant in aging. ( birth - one - two - … - dead ) And if someone knew how long it would last, Why would they sign that contract, on the dotted line on an oak desk with all too important looking business men greedily grinning. (the devils favorite disguise) Who knew of the beating of the heart- so exciting and focused on one lovely face. (or set of lips) Like a party with a spinning bottle, Soon to be the pulse of the first date. And first night cashed in bed, rolled over from exhaustion- excitement. (a steady rhythm takes on different meanings here) Who knew that words would be so tough. so damnable and lackluster (until they line up just right.) And poems a love-hate-multi-night-stand. where we always bicker and fight, but always come back for one more line. or in my case, nothing at all.
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Nov 20, 2020
Nov 20, 2020 at 4:29 AM UTC
Who Knew?
Hesitantly he succumbed Though he knew it unwise In-laws and low-lifes combined 'A degenerate time better than No time at all' convinced his mind For he had nothing else to do A reason none could find Except abundant inopportunity I say, there was nothing else to do Over and over. Again and again. Until one damnable day Death knocked at the door 'Hello sir, please come in I have nothing else to do'
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Jan 23, 2013
Jan 23, 2013 at 10:28 AM UTC
Nothing else to do
Jaws cracking eyes watering inhaling so deep heavy eyelids and a drooping head don't fall asleep sleep is fickle, get it where you can and if you don't have insomnia BE GLAD. There are few things worse than lying awake, clock blinking, glowing in your eyes. Your watch beeps, a bell chimes 3:00 in the morning again. You're so awake you wanna go out but you can't. It's too late. early? dark. The cracks in your ceiling are so fascinating. The cat at your side is warm. purring. orange. It should be soothing should put you to sleep. But it won't. Never does. How long can you go without sleep before you go mad as a hatter? Down, down, down the rabbit hole of dreams... snapped away from the brink. Damnable sirens! Damnable insomnia... Sun's rising. What now? Get up. Get dressed. You've a life to live. Foundation covers the circles under your eyes. Tea or coffee keeps you running. Insomnia keeps you awake. Always has. Always will.
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Jan 23, 2011
Jan 23, 2011 at 6:37 PM UTC
Insomnia
Landscape the fatal solution, abandoning the pre-world                                           he takes pleasure in mutely, and often spacing out, tipsy, drunk, confident till the juice runs out. What made him hold onto such damnable                       lilies succumbed with the raw roots of melancholy? Never purging the dancers                                    twirling through a decade old sound system, they say                 "I don't think you know what you did." ***** circling in his eyes, they dance,                                                  "But I'm going to help you."                The dancers rebel       across the floor, down the stairs    ---to the dark, his eyes washed by the caked acid running                                down executed cheeks so helpless, the rhines of a ranting romance roped idiotically to the gospel grave. All the ways he sighs, at all the wrongs snowing down on his neck. "Nothing about us ever shivered."
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Sep 7, 2013
Sep 7, 2013 at 2:41 AM UTC
Till the clouds ripple obese
Whisk, lily limbs, into graciousness, stately - and hate me for being so fallible, fallible, fallible - like such a damnable human. Dare not lay your hands upon me. So well disjointed, appointed a label, told fables and psalms like a whimsical, whimsical, whimsical lie, exorbitant narratives fraught with the stench of decay. And so, disappointed, anointed with thorns, as their horns, and their false tongues so difficult, difficult, difficult, that we can't help but wonder just why we live this way, as your lily limbs spin into spacious transgression. Confessions of laudable symmetry, symmetry, symmetry, broken: you choked on your words as they caught on your breath, and you had nothing left to say.
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Sep 18, 2011
Sep 18, 2011 at 11:40 PM UTC
Nothing Left
Standing on my head to rid myself of this soul-phlebitis   An old hobo train jumper trick apparently All that blood rushing to my previously empty head       Filling, pooling graciously flow             (Don't we all know, there's nowhere to go but up) Abruptly fall head first lurching, crunch To the cold brittle hardwood boards of nuns in our parent's youth        Creaking (they whip us good)                   Is this ink sunken in skin to be yer biggest regret?      What can pain do for you? Connecting the mind and body     Cingulate gyrus integrating          reptilian brain vagus nerve body influence with higher               Social functioning                                       ugh when really it's all a big joke                                            and the sad clown laughing at the universe                                                  is me and i am god and god,                                                       god he weeps                     Breeding consciousness, somatosensory convergence                            You make my prefrontal cortex sick                                    Subsequent serotonin stomach butterflies                                          The prescience of a dozen acid trip candy flips                                                Tomorrow's 500 micrograms of blissful gut                                                                 Awareness in bloom Home, where's home for the moment?        Not sure, asking, looking             And questing to find o yes and where to go and where to stay                  And with whom and Why                       Questions called to no one and nothing (but the sea)                              That can't hear me                                       As if Nietzsche's 'void' is staring back EAT ME THEN DAMNABLE VOID        I cry     For What pain is there in true madness,        sick little toy words        sick little boy slurs
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Aug 11, 2014
Aug 11, 2014 at 10:36 PM UTC
eat me then (DAMNABLE VOID)
Standing on my head to rid myself of this soul-phlebitis   An old hobo train jumper trick apparently All that blood rushing to my previously empty head       Filling, pooling graciously flow             (Don't we all know, there's nowhere to go but up) Abruptly fall head first lurching, crunch To the cold brittle hardwood boards of nuns in our parent's youth        Creaking (they whip us good)                   Is this ink sunken in skin to be yer biggest regret?      What can pain do for you? Connecting the mind and body     Cingulate gyrus integrating          reptilian brain vagus nerve body influence with higher               Social functioning                                       ugh when really it's all a big joke                                            and the sad clown laughing at the universe                                                  is me and i am god and god,                                                       god he weeps                     Breeding consciousness, somatosensory convergence                            You make my prefrontal cortex sick                                    Subsequent serotonin stomach butterflies                                          The prescience of a dozen acid trip candy flips                                                Tomorrow's 500 micrograms of blissful gut                                                                 Awareness in bloom Home, where's home for the moment?        Not sure, asking, looking             And questing to find o yes and where to go and where to stay                  And with whom and Why                       Questions called to no one and nothing (but the sea)                              That can't hear me                                       As if Nietzsche's 'void' is staring back EAT ME THEN DAMNABLE VOID        I cry     For What pain is there in true madness,        sick little toy words        sick little boy slurs
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37
A broken shell, a living hell, and all I'm left with now is my regret. Better days ahead were a pipedream after our relationship crumbled. Countless arguments. Disagreements. Every day! For my life, I can't believe we stayed together as long as we did. God knows I didn't want her to leave me. How much longer must I wrestle with these painful memories? I just feel regret, unspoken, I just feel the pain; since she left, my life has been a broken shell, a living hell — I can't believe I let her go; it was foolish pride before the fall the day she left when I lost all — I should have held her closer, I should have made her see the feelings I have for her, what she means to me; I didn't say I love her or beg her to stay, instead, I stood in silence and watched her walk away, and all I'm left with now is my regret. Justification is an exercise in futility. Knowing what I could have and should have done leaves an inextricable switchblade in my soul. Love's lessons learned too late — love's loss too great. Misting eyes beseech as memories replay in my head, but they're too painful, and I feel dead. No joy to be found. Oh well, my self-imposed hell. Painful memories open like an oubliette under my feet, plunging me lost and languishing in isolation's labyrinth. Questions left unanswered, decaying in the debris fields of "what if.” Reflection can be a catharsis for the soul, but it can also rip a hole in it, and soon reality roars from guilt's bottomless pit to devour all hope. Sometimes despair is mitigated by occasional reminders of us. Thoughts lingering on happier times, blessed moments mine to treasure. Until the damnable loop of regret dominates to decimate any respite of joy. Vanishing expectations. Weeping willow's silent wail. Xerox memories fade with time. Years have passed, and my thoughts continue to haunt me over what we could have had. Zero-sum game — all I'm left with now is my regret. Mark Toney ©️ 2023 * * * April 22, 2023 I hope you found the above fictional prose poem interesting. I wrote it in response to a writing challenge I heard about. Write a 26-sentence short story (or prose poem). Each sentence must begin with the alphabet's sequential letters starting with A through Z. One sentence must be 100 words long, and another sentence only one word. Would you like to try it?
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Apr 22, 2023
Apr 22, 2023 at 2:07 AM UTC
My Regret
A broken shell, a living hell, and all I'm left with now is my regret. Better days ahead were a pipedream after our relationship crumbled. Countless arguments. Disagreements. Every day! For my life, I can't believe we stayed together as long as we did. God knows I didn't want her to leave me. How much longer must I wrestle with these painful memories? I just feel regret, unspoken, I just feel the pain; since she left, my life has been a broken shell, a living hell — I can't believe I let her go; it was foolish pride before the fall the day she left when I lost all — I should have held her closer, I should have made her see the feelings I have for her, what she means to me; I didn't say I love her or beg her to stay, instead, I stood in silence and watched her walk away, and all I'm left with now is my regret. Justification is an exercise in futility. Knowing what I could have and should have done leaves an inextricable switchblade in my soul. Love's lessons learned too late — love's loss too great. Misting eyes beseech as memories replay in my head, but they're too painful, and I feel dead. No joy to be found. Oh well, my self-imposed hell. Painful memories open like an oubliette under my feet, plunging me lost and languishing in isolation's labyrinth. Questions left unanswered, decaying in the debris fields of "what if.” Reflection can be a catharsis for the soul, but it can also rip a hole in it, and soon reality roars from guilt's bottomless pit to devour all hope. Sometimes despair is mitigated by occasional reminders of us. Thoughts lingering on happier times, blessed moments mine to treasure. Until the damnable loop of regret dominates to decimate any respite of joy. Vanishing expectations. Weeping willow's silent wail. Xerox memories fade with time. Years have passed, and my thoughts continue to haunt me over what we could have had. Zero-sum game — all I'm left with now is my regret. Mark Toney ©️ 2023 * * * April 22, 2023 I hope you found the above fictional prose poem interesting. I wrote it in response to a writing challenge I heard about. Write a 26-sentence short story (or prose poem). Each sentence must begin with the alphabet's sequential letters starting with A through Z. One sentence must be 100 words long, and another sentence only one word. Would you like to try it?
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11
Another glass shatters against the cold stone wall. Everything you asked for layed in my palm, I was yours for the taking. Yet still I could never be enough to soothe your pains. I kissed your scars, I replaced your broken heart with my bleeding art, And still you look at me with those eyes. Those damnable eyes. I can't count or name all the poisons that you contain Inside that body of yours abused by your shame Go ahead and continue to corrode the person that you once were So much for that steady dream Look at you changing reality into a myriad of illusive lies, Drowning in all the liquid confidence leaking from the confines of your distracted mind. Where did all your senses go? To hell with what you think of me. Goodbye for all its worth, I'm just fine on my own. I'll leave you here to drown alone, I refuse to let you bite the hand that feeds. These bandages on my ego conceal so little, I can't walk out the door without the embarrassment of fearing what the public thinks of me. And it's all because of you. So to hell with this leash you've put me on, You had me wrapped around your finger, With your words, your love, and your brain Now they've rotted and I watch as they go down the drain. In your arms I felt so sane I knew there'd come a day When the price of that sanity was revealed. I once believed that if keeping you meant losing myself I would be lost in your love forevermore, it no longer means that anymore. If keeping myself means losing you, Then I will not lose myself today. For today I no longer live for you, Today I live for me.
0
Jul 16, 2018
Jul 16, 2018 at 12:49 AM UTC
Down the Drain
Another glass shatters against the cold stone wall. Everything you asked for layed in my palm, I was yours for the taking. Yet still I could never be enough to soothe your pains. I kissed your scars, I replaced your broken heart with my bleeding art, And still you look at me with those eyes. Those damnable eyes. I can't count or name all the poisons that you contain Inside that body of yours abused by your shame Go ahead and continue to corrode the person that you once were So much for that steady dream Look at you changing reality into a myriad of illusive lies, Drowning in all the liquid confidence leaking from the confines of your distracted mind. Where did all your senses go? To hell with what you think of me. Goodbye for all its worth, I'm just fine on my own. I'll leave you here to drown alone, I refuse to let you bite the hand that feeds. These bandages on my ego conceal so little, I can't walk out the door without the embarrassment of fearing what the public thinks of me. And it's all because of you. So to hell with this leash you've put me on, You had me wrapped around your finger, With your words, your love, and your brain Now they've rotted and I watch as they go down the drain. In your arms I felt so sane I knew there'd come a day When the price of that sanity was revealed. I once believed that if keeping you meant losing myself I would be lost in your love forevermore, it no longer means that anymore. If keeping myself means losing you, Then I will not lose myself today. For today I no longer live for you, Today I live for me.
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35
anti-narcissism, painters with self-portraits, the damnable face used to kindred of inanimate things taken for granted via still-life or impressionism, damnable visage, yet not exactly a finite banality of narcissism and acting, it’s just there, if it isn’t being bosomed by kissing it might as well be painted, shame to leave it to simply frown, or undue the english stiff-upper lip with the fisherman’s hook, that phenomenon of the fisherman’s / elvis’s upper lip aha hum hum: it’s a twitchy eye when you mind the nerves and just say: i’m in r.e.m. stages of parkinson’s: rapid eyelid movement: got a joke coming with the tourists, find your face in the throng and give it four walls, a floor and ceiling and a campfire.
0
Feb 29, 2016
Feb 29, 2016 at 8:12 PM UTC
self-portraits / anti-narcissism
There’s a broken bird in the red snow at sunset Drenched in water and freezing fast at the hands Of two red-blooded boys who laughed At the feeble chirps of protest emitted from between The little pink lips of a red-cheeked girl Her blue mittens were matted with snow and flying fast Hurling packed ***** of frozen water at the boys Even as the sun disappeared behind their heads And she was trapped in their shadow She dispelled them in haste and in a spray of snow They were gone leaving a broken bird and a sad little girl She took the white scarf from around her neck and shivered The bird chirped meekly as it was wrapped and carried Mother’s sympathetic smile was not enough Nor were father’s promises The bird was put in a box outside to spend the night As a storm raged outside she could not sleep The empty box in the morning a ray of hope Or a damnable void She chose hope and washed her red-speckled scarf And in the spring among the many-winged shadows She searched for her bird certain he still flew
0
Oct 11, 2012
Oct 11, 2012 at 8:21 PM UTC
Waldosia
deeply swaddled in troubled sleep covered in blankets soaked with woe vast crushing stones of daytime vexations wring out the very last drops of aching night sweats a constricting conscience strangles the possibility of rest eruptive violent struggles subverts a desperate restoration this damnable listless sleep yet in the nadir of torment as another bleak daybreak creeps closer a fluttering voice hovers to whisper courageous dreamscapes into my drowsy ear "don't be afraid, I am with you commanding the help of an army of angels 10,000 strong!" these are the days of miracles and wonder don't cry no more Paul Simon: Boy in the Bubble Happy Birthday Paul Simon Jacobs Dream Marc Chagall jbm Oakland 10/13/11
0
Oct 8, 2013
Oct 8, 2013 at 6:13 PM UTC
10,000 Angels
I am sitting in the bar writing this. I started at the Sir Francis Drake, and I will do a tour of duty in all the great bars of the city before morning. There is a storm outside, a fresh wind and a choppy see from my voyage. But the earth isn't quite big enough for me tonight. I am now at The Globe and plan to proceed to The Moon and The Stars and then make a journey to all the planets, ending in the constellation of Venus - anything so as to be closer to the pleasure zone that is yours, all yours. It's not my fault I am here. It would start to rain as we were waiting for the bus, and those stupid feelings of mine, hauled me into this bar. It is a dark, cold, confounded hole, fit only for desperadoes and down-and-outs. The cold outside made the warmth of the wine work faster on me. I wish you could see me now as I am definitely not myself anymore. I'm a much pleasanter, warmer, wittier person than when cold sober and I am sure that I could win your love when I am like this. The wine hisses upon my heart. Cupid has fired a dart into my liver. I am asking the barman for ice to cool my fevered thoughts. Ice! Clear and cold and definitely melting, just like you. The idiot has brought me olives instead. This is a damnable place. A hideous world, I wish I were out of it and in heaven, by which, of course I mean in your arms. Ah, if only they were bottling your bath water - then there'd be something to slake this incredible thirst! I'd close my eyes, sip you slowly, and let you slide down my throat. This is my constant prayer, wether I am drunk or sober.
0
Oct 6, 2015
Oct 6, 2015 at 2:44 AM UTC
The Thirsty Lover
I am sitting in the bar writing this. I started at the Sir Francis Drake, and I will do a tour of duty in all the great bars of the city before morning. There is a storm outside, a fresh wind and a choppy see from my voyage. But the earth isn't quite big enough for me tonight. I am now at The Globe and plan to proceed to The Moon and The Stars and then make a journey to all the planets, ending in the constellation of Venus - anything so as to be closer to the pleasure zone that is yours, all yours. It's not my fault I am here. It would start to rain as we were waiting for the bus, and those stupid feelings of mine, hauled me into this bar. It is a dark, cold, confounded hole, fit only for desperadoes and down-and-outs. The cold outside made the warmth of the wine work faster on me. I wish you could see me now as I am definitely not myself anymore. I'm a much pleasanter, warmer, wittier person than when cold sober and I am sure that I could win your love when I am like this. The wine hisses upon my heart. Cupid has fired a dart into my liver. I am asking the barman for ice to cool my fevered thoughts. Ice! Clear and cold and definitely melting, just like you. The idiot has brought me olives instead. This is a damnable place. A hideous world, I wish I were out of it and in heaven, by which, of course I mean in your arms. Ah, if only they were bottling your bath water - then there'd be something to slake this incredible thirst! I'd close my eyes, sip you slowly, and let you slide down my throat. This is my constant prayer, wether I am drunk or sober.
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5