You sit on the holy hollow thrown in my body.
Calling for salvation, claiming camaraderie

The internal tick I tend to mend,
sits on my chest, sinks into my irises.

A sip, a snort, a huff whisper safe promises.

You are the thumb I **** singing lullabies to sleeping peace,
the knife I carry down dark streets.

You are the doctor I call when I break my arm,
the scarf I wear in winter storms.

But too,

You are the *** hole in main streets,
and a broken belt in the drivers seat,
the sour milk in my fridge when I make English tea.
You've put salt in my sugar.

You are the feet that fall asleep in a moment of danger.

You are a beautiful thought waiting to unfold on black paper.

You sit on the holy hollow thrown in my body.
Commanding toxic tensions, comforting ill redemptions.

But

The kingdom we live in is drinking resilience,
mind stepping back into its brilliance.

You still sit on the holy thrown in my body.
But I too fight for survival
and you still dable with devils.

But the battles I face are no longer hollow,
and sometimes I miss the comfort of denial.

Go Away Love
Love, oh love, where do I start
You mislead me, you abused me
You trick me into your devilish lies
You give me a false sense of hope
Because every time I talk I feel I am getting closer
But I am actually drifting farther apart
Driving a deep wedge from our love
Why do I bother trying
Why do I ever love
A plastic heart that contributes nothing
More manipulative than the best lawyer
Because when my hopes are high
They go sinking down the drain
I can’t give up the fight
When I need to give up the fight
Fight or flight, I just wanna fly away
This game is too insane
Everyday your obsessed with the same person
Your eyes glued when you want to unglue them
Go away love
Go away every lonely night
Crying into my pillow
Thinking obsessively about them
But they won’t answer
Every moment cherish
To make an impression
But impressions won’t be enough
You know they don’t care
Despite how hard you try to forget
But you are too determined
But you just need to forget about it all
Forget about them
But love attracts to you like a magnet
Every suction sticks
When I want it to unstick
What is it so attracting?
Why do I want to come back for more?
When I know I will fail
Fall head first with no cushion
I try to go with the flow
Try to be myself
But nothing will work
Nothing will fit
The puzzle pieces won’t match
Go away love
Your worth nothing to me
You lied you cheated you played me
You used me as your punching bag
You use me as your test object
Too see how we will react
To the rejection
To the thought of failure
I am onto your ***** tricks
I know what you want to see is failure
Why do you want to see me fall
Why am I test subject
I am human too
I need love too
I don’t wanna dable and go
I desire the same affection
Yet my heart is the greatest liar
My heart is the greatest sinner
Everyday it tries to pull me in the wrong direction
Why do I have to suffer this force
I just need to let go
But I can’t let go
Everything falls down like a broken cliff
Thinking and shaking
Staring into your eyes
Awedropped
But knowing
That my goal is impossible
My standards set
And knowing I can’t meet those
When my heart tricks me I can
Is why I spend my nights
Looking at sad comics
Thinking I will be lonely forever
Mind manipulates me
Guess my mind is a sinner too
My whole body becomes Pinocchio
Lying that I can do this
That I can receive love
From someone that my heart connects too
But they don’t connect back
So I just wanna let go
“No don’t let go”
“There is always a chance”
“The odds may work out”
But they never work out
They always come back to haunt me
So let’s face reality
My love won’t love me back
So all I have to say is
Go away love