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Cné May 2017
My Dad was a unique person
too little understood.
I do not sing his praises
as often as I should.

This day I will remember
my Daddy as he was
holding me when I was little
tickling me, just because.

He would tell me not to worry
or have no fears, or tears.
He's in a place of warmth and comfort
where there are no days, or years

I won't think of him as gone away
his journey's just begun.
For life holds so many facets
this earth is only one.

I'll remember not his fight for breath
nor remember not the strife
I'll not dwell upon his death
but celebrate his life.

Today I celebrate his birthday.
He would be eighty~four.
Though a woman now of many years,
I'm still my Daddy's little girl.
May 10, 1933 ~ December 23, 2013
Here he lies
with his two wives
his wife and her twin sister
between the two
who really knew
identical, they were also tricksters
Charlotte Ivy Oct 2017
You're a piece of my dad
Sometimes I find him in your laugh
But then your smile goes crooked and your "bugs" act up again
You find clarity for a moment and then your thoughts become distorted
Was the habit to hard to break or did you think the promises I made for you were fake  
You always told me every day to never give up why can you not wake up
Dad, Jake.. ?
What's your name ?
I feel like we're strangers and I feel like your love was fake
You took a piece of my sister's away and for that I'll never forgive you
Can't you see your own ****** mistakes
You're blind and they were right you are a snake
You fried your brains and I'm afraid it's to late
I can't save you unless you want to be saved
Hannah Sep 2017
Entry ~
You were the first man that ever broke my heart. It was the day I was born. You held me in your arms and made me a promise that would rip us both apart. You promised to love me unconditionally from the start. But time passed and over the years those words faded from your heart. In the presence of a war when you had one foot out the door. There are vacancies in my memories where a father should have played a part. Like teaching me to drive a car, or telling me don't believe boys that say I love you from the start. Instead, I looked at every boy with tears in my eyes and willingly accepted every single lie, thinking maybe if I part my thighs they'll learn to love how broken I am inside, but they never do. Just like you they leave without a single clue and I'm left alone, used, wishing my daddy would have loved me too. And I'm not writing this to blame you, or break you, or tell you I hate you. I've made mistakes too. Ones deeply rooted in my relationship with you. And I get that maybe you didn't have a clue that your daughter was struggling in the world without you. But I relied on you to set the standard for boys I would let into my heart. By the time I was sixteen, I felt like a tortured piece of art. I learned to love myself of course. Over the years of ripping myself apart I learned to chart the darkness in my own heart. I don't blame you anymore for my broken parts. I'm healed from being angry at you. I'm writing this to tell you I'm sorry for failing you, and I'm sorry you failed me too.
The apple never does fall too far from the tree.
**
Cné Jun 2017
I think about him often
and on Father's Day, I dwell...
upon the things he gave to me
and taught me oh, so well.

I go back to those early years
when on my father's knee...
he'd give to me a special hug
and then he'd say to me:

"...life is what you make.
Don't look for special breaks.
Keep your chin up
when the world seems doomed,
for goodness sakes.

Always keep love in your heart.
on that you'll always count.
And when you do...well..
there's no obstacle you can't surmount.

You can be, all that you want
for you have that kind of power.
You're not as fragile, as it seems
though, I see you as a flower.

Do not be afraid to love
freely, with all your heart
I will protect you always
but you must also...
those times when we're apart

That day will come along
when my body falls apart.
And then, I must be moving on
but I'll remain forever...
within your heart!"


He left me in 2013
to go and be with God.
I knew he would someday
of course…
yet still, I find it odd...

that I can still recall his voice
from all those years ago.
And I'd just like to say that...
I listened, and I love him so!
Happy Father's Day!
Evelyn Genao Mar 2018
"Please stay with me, daddy!"
You were walking so fast.
Too fast for my little feet to keep up.
Was it that easy for you to leave me?

You heard my tear-filled screams, but you never stopped.
You just kept going.
Farther and farther away, not even trying to get one last look at me.
I punched, pulled, and pushed trying to make you stop.
You didn’t.
You just kept going.
Leaving me behind.
"Please don’t leave me!"

Pain.
I remember it too well.
The heart throbbing pain.
We watched as you left.
Me and mommy.
My eyes were wet.
Hers were dry, cold.
As if she knew this would happen.

I looked into mommy's eyes.
Her brown eyes began spinning with webs lies.
Lying to me for you.
How long do I have to wait for you before you realize that what you did was a mistake? What was the reason you stayed away for so long?
Was it all the ****** **** you did in the past or is it because you don’t want me anymore?

Since you left, I dreamed of your return.
The day you would wrap me in your arms and whisper in my ear,
"I'm sorry for what I did. I promise I will never leave you again,
my little Cookie Monster
."
Then I wake up, hoping to see you.
Hoping that it wasn’t all a dream.
But reality soon caught up, and the dream quickly died.

I remember all the tears I had rushing down my face
as I saw you leave me and mommy behind, to never return.
I'm so incomplete without you, I need my daddy back in my life.
You deceived me, you said you would always be there.
You pinky promised.
You broke your promise.
How can I trust you again?

Do you still think of me as your "cookie monster" or
a daughter you never loved, a daughter you could leave behind without a single goodbye in the blink of an eye? I wish you were here to watch me grow up but we both know that will never happen.

"I miss you so much! Won’t you please come back to me, daddy?
I just need to see your face one last time
."
Am I that disappointing I need to work to make you love me?

Hey, daddy even if you don’t love me I will always love you no matter what happens.
I bet you didn't even think about how I would feel when you left.
No, you only thought of yourself like you always do.

You missed all my birthdays, first dates, father-daughter dances,
and you may even miss my wedding, not that you even care.
Did you know that I would wait for the postman to bring the mail and check to see if there was a letter for me? But there never was.
I eventually stopped going, knowing nothing was there for me.  

"Well, daddy looks like you really didn't care about me buts it's in the past. Now I have a family who loves me, stays with me, and likes for who I am.
I don't need you anymore
.”

Daddy, I still need you. Please, come back.
When I was 6, my dad was deported to the Dominican Republic. I remember visiting him in prison before he was booted out of the country. I was only a child then and I don't remember much but the pain is still there. I didn't ever write down my feelings until my English teacher assigned the class a project where we had to write a poem about a struggle that impacted our lives. It was not the best and as the years went by I would add more to it, pouring my heart and soul into it. I think the day presented my poem to the class was the day that I wanted to become a writer. I hope you love this and be sure to comment your thoughts on it. Also, check out my other poems!!
Dead lover Jan 2016
Well before you know anything else about him,
I'm so happy right now, with my eyes filled upto brim,
Well yeah, it's about a special friend of mine,
Call him a friend, a daddy or a birdie, all are fine.

He's a down to Earth person, with no time to even show it!
Yet people call my birdie, insensitive!
I don't know what do they want to say,
And why as negative they want him to be portrayed.

He's not weird, just unique,
He's not being selective,just doing something for himself for the first time,
You can't call him Selfish.

He's not you, He's not me,
He's better support than us, you'll see!

He's an awesome person, with his awesomeness obscure,
That doesn't make him insecure!
He's no good around people you say,
But in reality, He's the same around all..

He's not fake, expressions he doesn't feel like he doesn't know how to make.
He's just too good the way he reacts,
'cause there's just one way he acts,
That's same,
And no adjective I know,
Could complete his name...

I call him a dad as of yet,
So that such an independent person of humanity,
I don't forget.

**Dad, Please stay
Stay my
Dad
Megan H Feb 2016
All the words he never said
Were written in the stars
Look at me,
They seemed to say.
I'm still here
Let me guide you through the night

All the nights we used to spend
Outside the garage.
His favorite constellations embedded in my mind.
Orion the Hunter.
It would never get old.
I was an image of my father,
And together we could stare at the stars all night long.

So people always ask me
Why I am fascinated with the stars
Why at nights I look up at the sky and smile
And I tell them,
He used to admire the stars as I do,
But now,
He is up there.
He is guiding me throughout this life.
My dad is my favorite constellation.
And then they'd remember-
The twinkle in my father's eye.
And they knew
I was telling the truth.




I miss you, Dad. Forever and always, old man.
Heather Moon Feb 2014
Dad
So my father,
he goes into the store to buy his $10 a pack for cancer
while he still attempts to hide his addictions from my sister and I.
Now I don't think it would bother me oh so much
but his frugal attempts to sweep the dust under the rug is like using a mop instead of a broom...
We see the crumbs leading to your door from the cookie jar.
Yes, we all have flaws, but you,
you
weave shamefully through the under layers of darkness, devoid of any resemblance to a heavenly nature, you fall like a night creature weaseling through crooked creaky cement alleyways, your gremlin spirit set ablaze.

LIFE, I revel and roll within the taste of each second, I run the grain of life across my tongue until saliva fills the creases and far reached corners of my mouth. I tap my finger to my lips like a true virtuoso, a connoisseur of life. Life.

My father's addictions completely derail me,
not even so the notion itself, I mean yes, but his blatantly obvious ways of avoiding confrontation not only from us, but also from himself.
Like Pinocchio's nose, my fathers back gets hunched more and more, his breath quickens when we draw close.
Father you are not prey, in fact if there be a predator, it is you unto yourself. I can no longer help but to roll my eyes when you tell me for the fourth time in the day that you must take out the trash so as to have a smoke.
I am fed up, excuse me sir, the trash will still be there no matter how many times you take out the "trash" .
The only "thing" that won't be left after you're repeated offenses of the benign chore will be you're dignity because you are so naive and ignorant in the way you dodge truth. How can you live respectfully when you don't respect yourself? Nor do you value what you are spitting out to your own daughters.
I am addicted to life,
I breathe it in with passion,
I embrace the truth within me
and have an eagerness to expand my wisdom.
How come father you do something that you know is a betrayal to yourself? How come you hide away in that old bar, the one with the flashing(flickering) light on the outside, dingy worn out red leather(plastic)booths on the inside, the bar located in some musty  little hole in you're brain and a blind spot on you're heart.
You sit in the back in a lonesome booth slumped like some chump, stuck in a stump, you ooze and wheeze not even grasping for air, no fight left within, you are like mucus, a toad melting into the ground. Sinister and swindling in the greed of you're gut. Your ***** mopey yellow eyes and the shameful acceptance as you indulge in the baths of life's luxuries whilst you poison your body, trash what you hold dear and continue to block out that little annoying voice.
The voice with the cracks in it,
worn out from you're games, the voice that nags and pleads. The one that catches you before you order another round, take another smoke break, the one that pulls you, tantalizes you with it's simple sweet natural charm in hopes of distracting you from your self harming ways.
The voice that chimes in the second you raise your fist to punch me. The voice that is screaming at you when you lock eyes with mine and can see my fear.
Yeah that voice, the little punk one that returns even after the crime of your actions has been committed.
After the music stops and it's just you and the world.
but even then
I don't think you will hear it.
You're living on the edge of the pavement father.
No you wont hear that voice, not when you're twisted and contorted into the sideways way of things. You killed that voice long ago, when you wound yourself deeper and deeper like a clock in time,
when you twirled yourself into that little empty pub, with a quiet pool table, with no hope, a sanctum of greed.
Yes, you're guilty, yes it was you.
It was you who killed the voice inside of yourself.
You killed it when you traded
your dignity and your truth
for yet another
$10 dollar pack of
emptiness,
lies,
and forfiet.
Dead lover Feb 2016
I must admit as well as appreciate,
I have the best father, my good fate.

All along, I had been wrong,
I have been cranky, ****** and ignorant
Yet you were there to make me strong,
And make my incoherent thoughts coherent.

Sorry for my mistake that I did make,
I'll correct it all, For your kindness's sake...
I promise to improve exponentially,
I feel high potentially...
To connect with etiquette,
That I thought you lacked initially..

But you are my dad,
You were meant to win finally
But I promise I would change,
And win this game, eventually
Brooke Ayana Jan 2016
The scent of my father never became the norm for me.
always foreign.
The scent of my mother was one I knew all too well.
I loved her smell of vanilla in the winter time .
But I think that's all we had in common
Our scent .
My father on the other hand was like my conjoined twin
The same in mind, heart, & soul.
But something about his scent just didn't sit well with me
So when he came back and told me he loved me
I just couldn't .
But your heart follows me everywhere I go
& I wish it didn't.
I wish you would take it back & act like I was nothing to you ,
Again.
Just please do this one favor for me ,
Love me but leave me alone
& take your scent of deception with you .
Sitting in the car
Waiting for traffic to move
The cold rain tumbling down the window
The drops collide into a single line.
Inside my father and I wait in the warm heat.

We probably just left to get pizza,
Or Chinese food,
A regular Friday night.

The sound of the radio hums softly in the background.
The soft rumbling of the engine.
The drumming of the rain.

Not a word is spoken
between my father and I,
Each of us just ******* up the silence.
Breathing peacefully.

Over the radio comes a song.
A little old, though well known.
Ee-e-e-um-um-a-weh
Wimoweh, wimoweh, wehoweh, wimoweh.

We both know this song.
Grinning we turn the radio up.
Singing along. Dancing along.
Um-um-a-weh.

With each beat of the drum
My father touches the brake.
Quickly, rapidly
Making the car ****.

The car behinds us honks the horn
Making us laugh harder.
My dad persists.
Continuing in this child’s play.

Suddenly it doesn’t matter,
that it is pouring, or
that we are stuck in traffic.
It only matters that we are having fun.

The song ends.
The radio gets turned back down.
We return to our former silent state.
MarvelMe Oct 2018
Dad
I looked up to you
I wish I were you

You and I were the same
Even though people told me you were insane

I didn't care what anyone said
Because when I needed you
You always came to my aid

But then you weren't there for me
When I needed you the most
It felt like no one cared for me
I was so lonely

I used to hate you
I'm glad I forgave you

All the thoughts of fantasy
I dreamed us as a family
Ended up being a sad tragedy

I won't make the same mistake
I'll be there for every birthday cake
From the time they wake
To the time we go to the zoo and see a king snake
In fact well even make Swiss steak
Or cupcakes
Or pound cake
We'll play with snow flakes
We'll go see great lakes
I'll be there for heartbreaks

I'll give them the love I never had
I've forgiven you already and I'm not mad
But at the end of the day I'm still glad
You were my Dad
10/9/2018
Dad's are important
Allie Dotson Sep 2017
The water haunts my house. Appearing so very often.
The nights on which it comes
tears apart all in its path.
No one can stop it.
It burns as it gets a hold of your throat and kills your insides with each sip
a sip so deadly you don't realize there until it hits you so hard you cant stand
correctly, so hard it slurs your words and will make you feel what anger is trapped deep inside you
So deadly it makes you feel as if your dependent on it.
It is planted in your mind,
making you think of it every second of the day, craving the sweet relief of unquenched thirst.
Water kills you and the ones who love you.
Water needs to stay in the cabinet tucked away
where no harm is done.
So my dad will no longer hurt himself or me and mommy.
He is not deadly just the water that kills and injurs.
The water haunts my house.
Rhesus Monkey Apr 2017
When I was very little, my dad used to make up songs about what he was doing around the house.
Getting ready to go fishing, he'd make up a song.
Making lunch; he'd make up a song.
And once, he was making coffee, and I vaguely remember it.
My dad was holding me while he was pouring the coffee into the coffee filter,
The water in the coffee ***.
I remember him looking at me and smiling and then he sang:
"I love coffee," he'd sing and I'd echo with what he'd sing.
"Coffee every day,"
"When I wake in the morning,"
"It gets me on my way."

-J
I love you dad. Even all of your weird embarrassing songs.
Dad
I picked my emotions
out of the night sky,
and dredged up my guilt
from the wine dark sea:
packed them into a suitcase
with socks,
and that old wool sweater.

I stepped off the plane
into the Miami swelter,
but for the first time
in to
a Miami
without you.

I watched the life fade out of you
like a tide slowly receding -
- inexorable, cold, without mercy.
I could sense you from afar
as your body fought a civil war
down in the depths
where it was too dark
too dark to see.
I am not sure if I want to say the bowels of ****
or just...
your bowels -
- I am not sure if there's a difference.

You waited there.
In a room filled with neon lighting
charts, beeping lights, and cords:
with nurses and strangers passing by
until life stole even you
from yourself.
Dead lover Jun 2016
FATHER'S DAY**

Dearest father, of all beloved,
Father's day, too reminds me of you..
Does it matter to you?

Dearest father, of all loveliest,
I really do wish to wish you,
But how do I do?

Dearest father, of all sweetest,
I wish if you could hear me,
But dad is busy bee...

Dearest father, of all cutest,
I wish if I could sing along -
For you, father's day song...

Dearest of all father dearest,
Did you bother to see my greetings?
Or still lost in meetings?

Still..

My father is the bestest,
The bestest of all friends and family,
The best of all actuality..

My father is the sweetest,
He does try getting free, you see,
Well, never that for me..

My father is highly intellectual,
He knows, a father he would remain..
So no time he drains..

But dad, you know what,
You don't treat your child any well,
you make my life ****..

Miss you so much papa,
You would have no time to hear..
At least tomorrow, be here...
CataclysticEvent Oct 2018
Dear Dad.
I wish I could tell you,
That I'm doing okay.
And I'm getting along just fine.
I wish when you look down,
Upon my life that you would see,
Happy.
I wish I could say.
I'm doing okay.
But the truth is dad,
Every day is a struggle.
To get up and get dressed.
Running on auto pilot all morning.
Hoping I don't forget to pack,
Her lunch for school.
It hasn't gotten easier.
It hasn't dulled in any way.
I still hurt,
Just as much as that day.
I wish I could tell you,
I'm okay.
I wish when you looked down,
You saw how happy I am.
Im sorry I'm letting you down.
I'm sorry I'm not doing,
The best I can.
I am trying
But every single day I end up crying.
I miss you.
Every
Single
Day.
And it doesn't get any easier.
A Harris Dec 2016
It was where you'd always sit, in unrest, with a forced smile, yet comfortable in your dwelling.
Seemingly broken but with a little hope stored away somewhere.
I saw an image that day, so surreal.
I could not help but let the tears flow, for I have missed you, more and more, since you let go.
Little instances when I feel you around, keep me curious and looking forward to life.
I momentarily feel the comfort and security you provided, and like the wind it sweeps away to find me on another day.
©A. Harris 2016
12/5/2016
frankie Jul 2018
How deep were we in?
Restrained by chains that burn our skin
Car headlights, a hush falls over
Shines through the window, time feels slower
I hope he knows that we care
He grabbed him, dragged him by his hair
Cry, scream, or maybe not
Could have done anything, but we couldn't make him stop
c Jan 14
My father
Has been a Man
All his life
And I capitalize Man
Because his terms
Of masculinity
Include being
The Man

He doesn’t like the word
“No”
Unless it’s in his voice
And under his control

Control is his ego
I think
He likes a grip on everything
So tight it chokes us
And he wonders why
I’m slipping away
Catalina Ruby Feb 14
Dear Dad;
I hope you get to read this one day,
For it is filled with things I’ve always wanted to ask or say,
I’ll start with the questions first,
Since what I want to say may be far worst,
Why was abortion the first thing you asked of my mother when you heard about me?
Was I such a disgrace to you? I wonder if when you found out she didn’t **** me if it made your heart ache or your eyes bleed,
Why did you deny me a father? Was it because you just didn’t want me from the start?
Would your life be better if my mom had acted from you said the command ABORT?
Why did you deny me as your child when your wife asked?
Was I such an embarrassment to you? Was accepting me such a hard task?
Why couldn’t you just be my father? Why couldn’t you just accept me?
I tried contacting you but you just abandoned me, I guess it just wasn’t mean to be,
All these questions and more keep hurting me, they parade in my mind,
The abandonment and the denial among other things pushed me to suicide,
These are the things I’ve always wanted to say,
I hope you understand and not take them the wrong way,
I hope you get all you want in life,
I hope you live to see me become a wife,
I hope you don’t come to me when I blossom into the woman you almost robbed me of becoming,
If God forbid and you start suffering I hope to me you don’t come running,
I hope you live to regret the way you treated me,
I hope a day will come when you’ll wish you accepted me from I was just a mere seed,
I wish that a day will come where you’ll feel the pain I felt when you decided to leave me on that plantation,
I pray to God you don’t recognize me when I get my masters; for if it was up to you I wouldn’t have gotten an education,
Most of all I want to say thank you,
Thank you for being the first man to break my heart, my mind, and trust; because of you I found it hard to believe things even when they were true,
I have one regret, I regret crying over you, someone who didn’t want me,
But now I am strong, over you I no longer bleed,
Goodbye father, I wish you well,
But in the sadness caused by you, I will no longer dwell.
This is to my father, who never wanted me.
Bartholomew Sep 2018
Every morning I would hear the metal wheels grind against the rails as the garage door opened
Leave for school as you were under the hood staring at horse power repairing every engine that was broken

Returned home and now you’re underneath a different car, your face blackened from the dirt, oil and debris
And at night sometimes I’d hold the flashlight for you, pointing the light at the wrong spots of the engine, I’d help to some degree

Rarely spoke but wrenches clanked, ratchets ticked, screws and bolts rattled and power tools revved
It’s the language that I never understood but it’s the language I know you’ve said

The garage doors would close, I’d smell the scent of Mary Jane coming from your room, swear the odor was limitless
Then I would hear the rifts and solos from the guitar strings that were plucked by your fingertips

Life as a grease monkey and a rockstar but you loved every second of it, you love everything you do
I wish one day I could find my own love and become something just like you

I see why my mother loves you

You called me your son though we’re not blood I swear I miss you in every way
You’ve alwayz told me to look out for my sister and to protect her everyday

Happy birthday
To my step father; rock in paradise

09/21/64 - 01/01/18
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