"cancered" poems
scribbling through pain of
wrist and tensed forearms
brought bettered by repetition
thru peddled death of calves
and ruined bowels of pre-
cancered prostate. constant
film of excreted toxins and
another cigarette only suffo-
cates these already humid-
battered lungs. another trip
out of doors only brings
realization of the heat inside,
buried deep beneath time-
pressured skin. some heart
forcing beats even though
cells have hardened via emo-
tionally evolved polysaccha-
rides. perhaps times' gain of
addiction finds lack of release
of toxins, perhaps the devel-
opment of a superior being
detached. lies, and realized,
wholly-owned and flawed
chitin formed of prior life,
formed of shared chemicals
of plasma-like water shed.
and called abrupt ending,
and lack of self-perspective
found lead-in to ending the
reign of self. ending some
reign of I the Destroyer.
Jul 10, 2013
Jul 10, 2013 at 11:53 PM UTC
Tonight, I lean against the windowpane,
Crack it open to the sound of January rain
That falls soft in the shadows of trees, and sings.
I inhale, dream of you and the smell of spring;
(I am the roots that grow from the detritus of dead and dying things.)
I want to cut myself on the jagged edge of your mind,
Knees raw and weeping red as I traverse the other side,
I want to scream through the walls of your philosophy,
Until my voice rips ragged, until every sound is profanity.
I want to drag you back from this obscenity.
I want to eat your heavy, burdened heart and offer one fresh,
Torn ripe and ****** straight from the beast’s chest
Into my cupped palms, pounding fuchsia and new: Take it.
Take back the strength it stole from you.
I want to crawl through the collapsed tunnels of your cancered mind,
Down deep chasms where your weary soul withdrew,
Past where you lost your way and dug your grave
To find the opening where sunlight once filtered through;
Then I would squat there, **** love
Until it stuck to your ribs and grew—
Until you glowed with the health of it, until
You rose from dirt or ashes or wherever the **** and flew.
So claw out from that cave, and let the rain cleanse you.
For this morning it was winter, and you were dead;
But tonight is spring..
Let’s begin again.
Jan 30, 2013
Jan 30, 2013 at 6:10 PM UTC
An unnatural mass, eaten delicately
In a dim lit den,
Made me dazed
lightly breathing
Gripping the cancered drive thru receipt.
In my softest
Seeing
your balancing voice
by blue Gulf seas.
Great scientist
who taught me
that love is a fossil
And that darkness
is the absence of soft blue rings
turned statue
With the weakest of arms
Wrapped in wood-
And in the afternoon
descending
I wished my eyes
would clear
And that my stomach would hurt
so you could discreetly slip me
Pepto Bismol from your purse.
Dec 10, 2014
Dec 10, 2014 at 1:48 PM UTC
I've never cried in front of you
Because I thought you needed to see me be strong
But that was a mistake
You forgot I have feelings
You forgot I am fragile
So so fragile
So so breakable
You can break anything if you try hard enough
But I let you think I was composed
All this time
I hoped it would give you strength
All this time
I hoped it would give you freedom to grow
I now see my flaw
I have always played pretend a little too well
My best lies were always the ones I never spoke
You believed my silence meant I was well constructed
I wonder if I'll ever be able to make you see
That the exposed and crumbling foundations cancered by mold and rot
Are not a trick nor a lie
I wonder if you'll ever start to believe me
When I repeat that you were always the good one
You were always the good one
You're the good one
You're good
Nov 26, 2021
Nov 26, 2021 at 11:26 PM UTC
Into the abyss of my soul I am gazed
A delusional experiment of the Gods
Zippered in this maze that has no exits
Slowly poisoned as I’m fed cremated love
High I swim among the fish and the stars
But I am not one of them…
And at the end of the dream, I am forced to return
Unto this agony
This cancered cell called Earth
In the abyss of my soul I am crazed
Mar 20, 2013
Mar 20, 2013 at 3:10 AM UTC
Huddled grazing at the feet of drunken Gods,
imbibed by crimson blasphemes and the lust of lies.
Smeared unto the grasses- a darkened hue.
onward weighs the pleasantry that binds.
The tight flog of a screamless whip.
Chaotic lore into peasant skin it rends.
A stench rising from cadavers - a carrion feast.
As a Ravens coups spur the ilk of ill portents.
Ominous lures of the slivered silver moon-
echo flashes upon sable black feathers.
Speaking in glints against rising wings agape,
the unraveled conscience of a God unfettered.
To the slaughter willfully go the droves
of cancered thought and blinded eye.
From whose spoil will feed the starv'ed flock
whose flagellation still yield no cries.
A Gods stature at which fullest they stand
is only dwarfed by the encroaching universe, avast-
whose very stars are the moon bound Ravens sprawl
pocking the scape against which the ****** dispatched.
Cyclical onslaught of the sacrifices come-
Inescapable fate beats the drum.
And so eclipse the ravens - o’er the moon!
their ****** return to the banquet strewn.
Oct 15, 2020
Oct 15, 2020 at 3:44 PM UTC
Can you hear me
Can you see me
Far from the daylight
Stuck in this fight
Can you hear me
Can you see me
I am lost here
Waiting for you my dear
The skies keep falling
Hell keeps rising
I can't keep going
This battle is too much
Heaven's armies scrambling
Father's wishes dying
Demons always trembling
The hordes of lost souls
Screaming in the night
For the lives they stole
From the light
Prayers are never answered
As God left this world
To let creation take its time
Free itself, from grasps of cancered
Loosened from the crime
Can you hear me
Can you see me
Far from the daylight
Stuck in this fight
Can you hear me
Can you see me
I am lost here
Waiting for you my dear
Aug 13, 2018
Aug 13, 2018 at 9:15 PM UTC
THAT CONSTANT PULL
DRAWS ME IN
AGAIN
AGAIN
AGAIN
I'M DRIFTIN'
ADRIFT
LOST SIGHT
OF SHORE
THAT SILENT DARK NIGHT
THAT SUN'S A MEMORY
A FADED FILM
ON DULL WALLS
EVER IN TOW AND PULL
ETERNALL DARKNESS FALLS
THE SUN A PHOTOGRAPH
BURN IT FROM END TO END
WAYLAID IN THE DEATH HOUSE
NO BEACON TO THIS END
I'M WAYLAID IN THE DEATH HOUSE
WITH NO LIGHT TO SEND
MY EYES ARE BLINDING ME
EARS STONE MIND NUMB
NO SENSE IN THIS NONSENSE
CAN'T WAIT FOR IT TO END
THERE'S SURRENDER IN ABANDON
NUMBED TOUCH AND TASTELESS THINGS
CHEAP IMAGES SURROUND US
SALIVATE THE TASTE THAT LINGERS
IMPULSE COMPULSIVE TRENDS
THERE'S SURRENDER IN THE DEATH HOUSE
LIGHT WILL BRING ITS END
BLACK NIGHTS
CANCERED MEMORIES
DISSOCIATED NETWORKS
LOST TIME
BLINKING LIGHTS
LOST CONNECTIONS
LOST SIGHT
NO CONNECTION
BLINKING LIGHTS
LOST TIME
NO CONNECTION
NO LIGHT
NO SIGHT
NO CONNECTION
Apr 11, 2021
Apr 11, 2021 at 2:40 AM UTC
I wish, I wish, again it seems,
I fight my battle, through everything.
Upon a star, upon a dream.
Hear my darling, the Angels sing.
Intoxicated, never clean.
Terminal feast.
Rose bud lien.
Cancered beast.
The war goes on,
But I don't care.
My life is dawned,
Everyone stares.
May light plum,
'Oh a lovely pair!'
August comes,
Life isn't fair.
Okay, okay...
I knew all along.
Reversed will say,
My anthem, my song.
Dear Augustus,
Have I done you wrong?
Have you justice?
Promised, I won't be long.
Farewell my dear,
You left me alone.
Oblivion you fear,
Ten, to the bones.
Jun 7, 2017
Jun 7, 2017 at 12:15 PM UTC