I take comfort in the familiarity
of it all.
The constant madness;
ringing bells and sounding alarms.

I've seen a lot of things.
I know a lot of things.

I'm a different type of person
than I used to be.

I've seen a woman steal my heart;
watched her love:
F L E E T I N G
She loves you today,
him tomorrow.

The melody strikes the match
and the fire rages on.
Unbeknownst.
Without awares.

I've heard the words:
"Is this too intense for you,
it's okay if it is."
and I've answered:
"...it is,
do it anyway."

The 15 year old girl
on the couch
is high
on her dad's methadone.
I'm withdrawling
and hating her;
insane with abandon.

I've felt a needle puncture
the skin;
watched the snake
appear
and
disappear
into myself.

I am another yourself.
We are
One.

You and Me
we are the same,
different eyes
different lungs
but we share a
soul.

I've learned how to make a fist
and pump it
with a jumprope tied
round my arm.

These things are not useful.
They will not bring you
great fortune.
They are the wasted
thoughts
ideas
and journeys
of my youth.

I've been given another chance.
Not a second one,
just another one.
After being purple;
lifeless;
was the greatest hit
of all.

Sick and sad inside
she slumps against the
hallway
wall.
Feeling nothing
after crying for hours
she finds resolve
in the insults
inside her head.

I take comfort in the familiarity of it all
writing like stories
have no end
as if all the pieces
fit together.

The reality is
they don't.

Hope begets Grace
and Grace is what leads
us through this battle;
Life.

I've seen a lot of things.
I know a lot of things.
They are not useful
but

they are mine.

I wanted to flow into phrase a general continuum to articulate most prominent my own mood rhythm, just for curious act of putting into words an unspoken knowingness I leave out to hang upon my Space.

I am ready alert as soon as I bring awares to body, I localize and Identify

I am very upbeat, curious, open, observant. I ultimately will let my days activity find itself, because it so wondrously does, every time, to engage in discovery, puzzling, un~puzzling, analyzing, reflecting, and when a bountiful day...Concluding (Always knowing Conclusions are always momentary, discovery, revision, perception, all shift when "New" is incorporating).
I stay bouncy, flexible, studiously refining my personal understanding and then bringing my thoughts and ideas into life in my world to play and check it all out. It's intensive, solitary mostly, always surprise I will find in something.
So, basically, I don't get caught up in attachment. To emotion, perception, definition, judgement, decision, or situation. I am fully immersed in the moment, I just have found a fluidity in movement. I am passionate absolutely, but gladly walk my passion on and on so as not to collapse a density upon the objects of my passions.  

I'm not really a specialist, although I specialize, I enjoy a great variety, I am not afraid to explore and Try.

So, Gladly, I state to Clarify: I am humorous, positive, bravely alive.

GENERALLY.


“To see the world in a grain of sand,

and heaven in a wild flower.

To hold infinity in the palm of your hand,

and eternity in an hour.

We are led to believe a lie,

when we see with, not through, the eye,

which was born in a night, to die in a night,

while the soul slept in beams of light.”

- William Blake

Nassim Does It Better:
FROM: THE UNIFIED FIELD AND THE ILLUSION OF TIME: UNDERSTANDING THE SOURCE OF CREATION article 4/23/14

Between your thoughts is a silence which is the unified field, and when you become that silence, you become the unified field, and you become universal. Through the practice of non-attachment, and meditation, all of your troubles disappear because you cease to cling to the changing illusion of reality and you become free to experience what you always will be: pure, infinite, and universal consciousness.

All things already exist encoded holographically within the unified field, the structure of space-time, and it is conscious intention which determines that which is accessed and chosen to be perceived due to its own intentions. Nothing new is created, for it is already present within the field. And it is the highest level of our consciousness which guides us in the manifestation process we call life. We are all expression of the universe, looking back on itself as Nassim would say, and experiencing all possibilities within creation with our unique and individual intentions.

All that you want out of life is encoded within the field. Your intentions and your perception is what determines what you see and what you experience. In the words of Wayne Dyer, “There’s no place that God is not. If this God-force is everywhere, then it must be in you. And if it’s everywhere, then it must be in all that you perceive to be missing from your life as well.”

The streets used to be wider. I swear that they did. I know I was a kid, but they used to be thick. They used to have girth, a sidewalk as wide as the Earth. My memory is sketchy, but surely they were wide. You could fit neatly inside, tucked away like a bird safe in a nest. So where is the rest? When'd they get thin, lose all their width? Or was it always like this?

The trees used to be taller. Reaching for the moon, their leaves falling soon, it's early September, this is how I remember. Spilling onto the pavement, these yellows and reds, like someone colored the sidewalk while we slept in our beds. Like a volcano erupting, disrupting the mainland, they'll wash away in the rain and leave behind streaks of beauty for us to recall. I thought there was more, but was this all?

The hallways used to be longer. They used to have an endless row of door after door set snug between a narrow floor. A warm light overhead guided us down to more, seemingly never ending, an eternally descending corridor. They used to be longer, of this I am sure. The scope, an improbable length. That was its greatest strength, that it stretched onward, indefinite. I used to be scared of how long they would be, and now I can see, that perception was me. But I swear, they used to be longer.

The world used to be bigger. Now it feels so small. What happened to it all? Where is the expansive planet that once was? What happened, because it used to be bigger. There used to be more. The sky seemed taller, of this I am sure. Where once you couldn't fathom the length between states, now the length between rooms seems far too great. Where once an hour felt like a year, now fifteen minutes feel like they're never here. The world used to be bigger. I am not lying. But I think perhaps my innocence is dying.

Did I get bigger or did it all just get small? Or was this the size it was all along? Was I incapable of seeing it for what it was, preconception so skewed and all because everything seems larger when you are little. The world feels so big, your life not as brittle. The hallways, the trees, the sidewalks were massive, but was it because interaction was passive. Now I am here, now I'm fully awares. And everything's small.

And nobody cares.

Alex didn't write or call
Which is not a very good sign
Haven't heard from Mark at all
By chance or by design?

I have very few friends
In my solitude
Blessed are the peacemakers
But there times as well to feud

I was early on Taiwan
Ahead on UFOs
But still I make mistakes
T-shirts for my clothes

Can God help the animals?
Predation truly scares me
I eat now only salmon
Vegetarian food awares me

The pulpit is the prow of the ship
Ishmael quite right
Prayers for Chicago
One Dark Knight

               Lonergan. Insight.

Crawling thru creepy cobwebs climbing these old stairs..I purposely try not to ponder on my state of affairs..as I listen to floorboards creaking and screeching rocking chairs..Oh my God I am frightened midst my moment of awares

But I betted on a challenge rather foolhardy indeed..so I have no other choice than to be brave and proceed.. and if I can conquer all my cowardliness I will win and succeed..mind you if I can carry out my mission it is victory guaranteed.. coz can you just imagine an old haunted house.. that would even scare the likes of a scuttling mouse..I wish i wasn’t alone right now..I should have brought my spouse..I did ask him along but he did only grumble and grouse

Well the only thing that I absolutely fear the most.. is coming face to face with the ‘Grey lady ghost’ and they do say that she isn’t the nicest of a host..as she chases mischievious children around from pillar to post.. That’s thirty three steps done already so only twenty two to go.. I had to get to the very top of the fifty five you know..but I hear moaning and groaning from down below..that’s it I’ve had more than enough as I decend with gusto...👻

If I'm gonna find some hope
I'll have to patiently wait

America has become a *******
Because it tried to be Great

Mustard seeds are small
So are poems and prayers

I'd like to do some good thing
And be one who dares

                   Awares.