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Kelly Rose Jan 2017
I apoligize for not reading your posts. I have been battling my depression and have not been online .  I have written a poem about it (of course lol).  I hope you enjoy and I hope to be online tomorrow.

My Dark Tale (A Sestina)

It is a lovely time of day for tea
As I sit curled up to the song of rain
Memories arise of a deep dark pain
Storm clouds gather within my heart, darkly
Dimly, I am aware of rainbow’s hope
Wanting dreams infused with Rosemary and Thyme

Out of work, I suffer from too much time
Overeating and drinking too much tea
Depression worsens, stealing all my hope
And all my dreams shatter in the cold rain
Leaving me empty in the bitter dark
As I stare out of the broken windowpane

How I long to conquer my bitter pain
If only I would organize my time
I know then, I would rise above the dark
Instead, I get caught in cookies and tea
And sink deeper; chaos supremely reigns
I flounder once again, losing my hope

I am tired of losing precious hope
Letting despair and worthless bitter pain
To take control and determinedly reign
Structure! Will that allow me to use time
Positively? Cutting back on black tea
Getting needed sleep to fight back the dark

Rested, I can push back the hated dark
Strive to capture peace and beautiful hope
Learning once again to enjoy my tea
And not as a crutch that causes me pain
While I mourn the loss of wasted sweet time
Instead, I would see rainbows in the rain

I yearn to topple depression’s long reign,
To walk in the sun’s light, not the cold dark
Eager to greet the day and enjoy time
Pursue my dreams, infusing life with hope
Do away with doldrums and bitter pain
Relaxing and enjoying Earl Gray Tea

Envoi

To sum up, I yearn to enjoy my tea
Overcome my darkness and pain; to feel hope
While I take time to enjoy the sweet rain

Kelly Rose
© January 5, 2017
Olivia Pierce Feb 2013
Salt
Tears flowing down my cheeks
You have no right
To pull us in
To this web of painful tears
They sting
I try and hold them back
Yet they fall
I do have right
I do have opinions
In vain you try to make me conform
I will not
You have no right
The voice in my head echoes
You are pointless
It says
You dragged us in to this war
Well I am fighting
I will not hold back
I didn't want this
I wanted peace
Yet the insults fly
And the sting returns
In my head a new voice appears
Apologize
It whispers
You'll lose them
You know you will
They don't need you
If you disappear they wouldn't notice
You are nothing
A waste of space
You ARE stupid
You ARE useless
A tear falls
No
I won't apologize
I love them
I need them but I know
I deserve more than what I get
I know they might leave me
Is that a risk I will take?
So tired of this
So tired of everything
Lying on my back staring at the white ceiling
Insomnia
Again
Looking in the mirror two pills in my hand
Hopefully I can fade now
Sink into the earth
I will not apoligize for being treated badly
But I will apoligize for creating this
You say it's nothing
You say it's meaningless drama
It matters to me
I'm sorry but then again I'm not for Lana Elizabeth caitlin and sophia
Red May 2013
It makes me feel bad,
how I become so anxious,
to be sure that you love me.

I should just accept the fact,
that you keep me on your mind.
And be grateful,
that I'm the only one.

I should not let them,
  the traders
  manipulators
  and heart breakers,
Control my future with you.

I used to be the one who didn't worry.
"Go with the flow"
"Whatever happens, happens"

I found him under my skin.
I hated myself.
So. Many. New.
i n s e c u r i t i e s.

You taught me to love again,
  not only you,
Myself.

Thank you.

So,
as long as at the end of the day,
I'm the one you think of late at night.

everything else is alright with me.
Thank you Alex.
Breathing Ice Oct 2010
no I don't want to
talk right now
                                                             ­  I
don't want to hear
your load of crap
I ******* care less
about the fact
that you
                                                          hat­e
everything I do
these days
no I'm not going to
apoligize and
I don't feel like crying
and saying I love only    
                                                              yo­u           ...          so just leave me ******* alone, will you?
Just a website I stumbled upon and it fit perfectly well with this poem. Wanted to share with you.
http://www.****.se/
the story of bobby bradysmith

you see bobby bradysmith is a little cool kid, but he was having a few problems

you see he had childhood schitzophrenia and said he was every star on the television

driving his family mad, and bobby screamed to his dad, why doesn’t anyone like me,

is it because i was mental and his dad started to get really worried, and decided to change his ways

but the other kids didn’t want this, you see they had fun with bobby, ya know teasing him

and bullying him, ya know the whole thing, and one kid named rodney spalms went up to

bobby and said, what’s that your like us, and bobby was really hyped up, saying, i am really one of you

and he said, yeah, as long as you don’t get in our way, you will be one of us, and bobby was happy

but unaware, what he meant by get in our way, but bobby decided to not worry about that while he was young

and decided to go home and watch all the television shows and black beauty and even icarly were two shows

he actually liked, and every time he went to the shopping mall, the young dudes said, whats that bobby, your like us

and even the rougher boys, and hooligans said, yeah yeah yeah, your like us, as long as you don’t get in our way

and rodney wanted to stay at home, as he turned off treating bobby like his kind because he was getting bashed up for it

which wasn’t  really bugging bobby, but still he heard rodney say these simple words, what’s that, your like us, about 100 times

and as bobby’s hormones were going wild, you see with the schitzophrenia in his system, his ***** erected looking at kids legs,

and i mean kids younger than him, well, this felt normal for bobby as his father was married to a younger woman, like all the men

in his family, but bobby was really getting a buzz asking the kid to come to him and grabbing his mouth and then looked at his legs

saying, he was the cool kid now and it happened again and again and bobby was a bully, making mothers and fathers mad, as soon

as their kids were grabbed by bobby, they ran to their parents and parents tore strips of bobby, and still he heard rodney’s voice saying

what’s that your like us, which made bobby grab a few kids at school as well as grabbing a few on their way to school, but still rodney said

what’s that your like us, me and you can be two bullies, bobby, how does that feel, and bobby was getting a buzz, going to the shopping mall

attempting to grab a few more kids, scaring them half to death, making men say, LEAVE MY SON ALONE ****, and bobby said neh,

and then he heard rodney saying, what’s that your like us, your not a mans kid bobby, i am going to get the whole mall crowd to tease you

if you keep it up, but your still like us, rodney said to bobby, as rodney rode his bike saying, you sit in there woosey bobby, your not a bully

or kidnapper, and if you keep it up, you will get prisoners saying what’s that your like us, and i will have power over your mind, to confuse you, ****-face

you see rodney will use his religious powers to make each prisoner say, what’s that your like us, but bobby’s father disagreed with this

and tried to get bobby into jobs he hates, to get his mind of kidnapping, but that only made it worst for bobby, because he lost his job and

took off to the fruit market and tied one 11 year old up to the toilet, now, bobby was scared, so he let him go, instead of leaving the kid there

to squirm, and he still heard rodney say, what’s that your like us, but really rodney hated him doing this to all the kids, and befriended him right away

and bobby only spent a weekend in the lock up, and got out of his jail sentence and placed on a psychiatric order, and he had to see a probation officer

and bobby was relieved and was ready to hear rodney say, what’s that your like us, but it faded away, and people said, instead, i am going to get you back,

for what you did to the kids, and this made bobby very scared, because, the reason why he committed these horrible offences, was because he had

schitzophrenia, which developed into adult schitzophrenia, and made bobby get bullied on the street and then go home and take it out on, his poor

old mum and dad, and bobby was thinking this was a game, but his parents wanted bobby locked away, because bobby’s dad spoke up for bobby in court

and still bobby to his dad, wasn’t very grateful, and fighting with them, every blasted day, and bobby wasn’t winning this battle, so he decided to do some

volunteer work at st vincent de paul, where he met francine, who was a really good helper and also has the gift to make anyone a good helper and bobby

started work there emptying the clothing bins and other man like jobs and then bobby asked francine, as christmas was fast approaching and bobby wanted to

apoligize to the city for his schitzophrenic behaviour of the past, by playing santa claus in the st vincent de paul, and showing kids he was a nice santa, well

a few kids told bobby he was a fake santa, and the mall santa was much better, but bobby’s medication made him handle that with care, and after 2 years

because the medication was making bobby nice to kids as santa claus, rodney’s voice was coming back in his head saying, i am very impressed with you bobby

you know playing santa to test you out, what’s that your like us now man, and bobby was handing a sweet to an older kid, and he said, i don’t want a lolly, i am an

older kid, i don’t believe in santa, and rodney’s voice was giving bobby delusions, which didn’t stop him from being santa, actually he went out on the street

and murdered a cat, and when the police caught bobby, his parents said, send him to the psych ward, and as bobby entered the psych ward, bobby immediately

thought, this was the gateway to heaven, and then rodney’s voice entered his head, saying, i am not mucking with the crazy person, and this made bobby scream

to get out of the psych ward, every time his parents left, and when bobby got out, he had delusions that there was a money tree on the internet, and the way

to get more money, is download a money tree fertiliser and also booked himself on a private jet to the USA, and every time he saw a crime or bad weather

he would write I WANT TO GIVE $456 TO SAVE THE WHALES, or something like that, and he started to get better and went back to vinnies to work

and play santa at the end of the year, this was something that bobby looked forward to playing santa every year, but bobby’s medication was forcing him

to look up to space, and being santa and going down to the coast was his only things he liked, and then in 2007, bobby started working at graythorne village

a place for the disadvantaged to live, and still played santa, actually, bobby took holiday leave to play santa at christmas to make the kids happy and then

in 2009, bobby got sick of this looking up, as his job prospects were going places, and asked the psychiatrist, and in about 3 weeks, they changed his medication

and the medication was giving bobby energy to run and at the end of the year, be a fit santa claus, and then a new boss came at st vincent de paul, and after

all the fun of getting kids photos, sitting on his lap, the new boss wanted to change so much, so bobby gave up his santa claus gig, and later on lost his job

in 2013, because he was losing his cool streak, he enjoyed playing santa, he enjoyed helping at graythorne village, and rodney’s voice came back in his head

saying what’s that your a crazy person, what’s that your a crazy person, and bobby yelled at rodney’s voice, on the side of the cars, and then bobby found another way

to keep sane, and that was write, write and more writing to make him feel cool, and now bobby goes to poetry slams and writing groups and theatre acting courses

bobby might not have a job at present, but the writing, stops him from straying from family life,

I AM BOBBY, HE IS BASED ON MY LIFE
One tip of the hourglass

I'll stay till the shadows past

And if I could rewind time

You would be in my arms tonight

But if I could rewind time

I would have gotten it right the first time



So stay

Please stay

I can apoligize today

I don't care what for

but I need you now

I need your smile

I need your voice

I need to know I'm not your second choice

Your fall guy

Why am I always the fall guy?

Guess she's just gonna pass by

I'm just her fall guy



So it's been a while since'

Since I had sleep

Another wish for the best of me

When I say this to her

When I make this song so

Here I stand

By the wishing well

Thinking of her

And hoping like hell

That she realizes

What a huge mistake she's making



So sway

We'll sway

On these summer swings without no wings

We'll fall all over again

We'll make green into gold

And gold into the old

Stories we'll tell

About time with each other

Not a single thought of any others

We're right there

Right there in the moment

Sitting and hoping

This isn't a huge mistake we're making



And it's been a while

Since sleep had me

So it's time for me

To catch those z's

Maybe

But maybe it's another sleepless night

Without you by my side that's right

Up your ally

No calling on daddy to save you

So stay
These are the lyrics that later turned into a song that can be found here on my channel : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvkwvH6DYro&list;=TL1lqm-NblPkcQkzsePFxHMHSh8Pl1viVL
Tyler Noseworthy Jan 2010
What is love
But of our own creation

It binds us together
In our own relation

Love can't be blamed
For what's happening to me

For I love you
And you love me

The things that I'd do
Just thinking of you
Keep me awake every night
Let me hold you tight

I await that embrace
From you my dear

Please come a bit closer
So I may whisper in your ear

I cried last night
Thinking of you

Thinking of those things
That I'd do for you

Nothing is sweeter
Than love so near

That I lie awake at night
Wishing you were here

If only you'd been there
That night that I called
I wanted to apoligize
For I was enthralled

By your beauty
I found it sublime
Just like the flavour
of a sweet sweet lime

Love holds me here
Wishing you were here
Nowhere but here
Right by my side

I'm sorry I lied
I flow like the tide
Never the same
Never too tame

I shed a tear for you last night
Wishing I could find your amazing light

I shed a tear for you last night
Wishing you were here with all my might

I shed a tear for you last night
Please hold me now, please hold me tight

I'll never let go of this sweet kiss
I'll never let go of this love
I'll never let you free from my lips
I'll never forget my love

I shed my tears for you last night
Stand by me, and love me this night
crystal tucker Jan 2015
lost in love i was never found, left behind, i hide my pride.
to leave this love tears me into, wheres my savior?
i thought it was you.
i feel ive been condemned for my sins, with your name used to lock me in this den.
ulgy girl in the devils den, where are u now my favorite sin?
no more! do not condemn,please cover me in light dont let the dark get in.
keep one promise, to love me like u thought for my soul has already been bought,thank u for the lessons sometimes the teacher taught and loses, this has been my fake bruises.
love turned into your looks at me, what do i do to make this be?
am i really to blame for this lose inside? when all i wanted was a true love and not feel blind.
anymore. without love arent we all so poor? i apoligize for my insincere, just wanted this to be clear.
had to get this out before i completely became lost as i speak now my tears are turned to frost.
im sorry i failed to set u free but i loved u unconditionally.
in some of my poems i speak of my favorite sin or about the beautiful or ulgy girl in the devils den. These are significant to me for reasons.
the disappeared Dec 2012
i have never fully grasped
serenity. calm. silence
of mind

always, going
always running, always thinking.
doing. i prepare. but alas, that is
never enough.

what if for a day
i pretended. it never happened. nothing changed
nothing hurt.

would that help?
probably not. at this point, i need understanding.
freedom from.

i apoligize.
i am vague. not a person alive
knows all. everything. since then to
now. this moment.

how could i explain?

perhaps, i could tell to you
that i feel as though i have been turned inside out, stripped, and shooken. like an
animal has climbed inside me and torched me; clawed, teared every part me. until
i am an empty carcass, living in the dark as would a zombie.

and then i would leave, quietly. secretly.
i live better that way.

as if anyone could know.
Diamond Johnson Jun 2014
I always had one thing to keep me steady
my mom
i know shes a drunk
but at least shes not an angry drunk like my dad
watching him hit her was the hardest thing growing up
it taught me i cant do anything
that i cant stop anything

Then again
my mom isn't helping me that much either
dad had a problem even i know that
but she didn't even try to help him
all she did was send him away
now my dad is in jail
she doesn't care about me
I wish my dad was here
at least he cared

Then i met josh
he was then sweetest boy you could met
but like my father
he was an angry drunk
he use to hit me
but he would always apoligize
and instead of not trying like my mom
I tried to help him
and I fell in love

Josh broke up with me one day
he texted me and said
I'm sorry baby but this is not gonna work
I couldnt believe it
my whole life i spent working with him
he was my life
he was my everything
and without him i didnt want to live

On that night
I was talking to Nina Worsley
and Chloe Jackson
they helped me survive that night

I was getting by fine without Josh
I even met a new boy Korri
but recently
hes been texting me
asking for me back
last night he told me my brother wanted to be part of his gang
he wanted me to meet him to talk about it
so i went

but when i saw him i fell in love all over again
and i want him back
and he will take me

Someone please tell me
What do i do next?
crystal tucker Jan 2015
lost in love i was never found, left behind, i hide my pride.
to leave this love tears me into, wheres my savior?
i thought it was you.
i feel ive been condemned for my sins, with your name used to lock me in this den.
ulgy girl in the devils den, where are u now my favorite sin?
no more! do not condemn,please cover me in light dont let the dark get in.
keep one promise, to love me like u thought for my soul has already been bought,thank u for the lessons sometimes the teacher taught and loses, this has been my fake bruises.
love turned into your looks at me, what do i do to make this be?
am i really to blame for this lose inside? when all i wanted was a true love and not feel blind.
anymore. without love arent we all so poor? i apoligize for my insincere, just wanted this to be clear.
had to get this out before i completely became lost as i speak now my tears are turned to frost.
im sorry i failed to set u free but i loved u unconditionally.
DawynSHunter Jul 2015
The Wanting


The way she smiles, and lights up his face
is something that i keep on my list
The way they close the gap in between
is something that i keep on my list
The way she breathes, while he takes it all in
is something that i keep on my list

Sometimes, i hear them yelling
on the other side of the wall
Shattering pictures and slamming doors,
that were only to be left open at night
for him to apoligize
Try to make things right
Let out his cries
Begging for her forgiveness
While the time goes by

My list is now full
I want to make him laugh
I want to kiss him crazy
I want to breathe in the air he breathes
I want the fighting and crying
and that feeling of dying, yearning for him
I want that forever, soul mate,
definite whatever you wanna call him
I.want.love.....and then some
I stood afraid to love you
Completely as you needed
So I kept my distance
Ensuring our romance was defeated

My reflection darkened
In your sweet eyes
By another's shadow
Such a hard compromise

In their eclipse
I felt atoms tall
I apoligize for everything
I hated feeling so small

I know now what I should have done
Taken the dive
To show you I was the one
Mariah Apr 2015
To my next one i apoligize for all the pain i may cause,
For your heart i may destroy,
For your feelings i may hurt and may not even adore.
U just gotta kno theres this pain deep inside, one i cant endure.
So when i hurt you im sorry, i know ive apoligized before.
But this pain you must endure so i can be sure that ur not like the rest, like i said im sorry...i am.
Creep Apr 2015
H*ko, if you're reading this,
I just want to tell you,
I hate you.

Ill help you out,
And smile,
And laugh,
But I ******* hate you.
Because while I was telling you about
How my best friend tries to **** himself,
You started laughing.
And making ****** innuendos.

Because nothing is serious for you, is it?
Not my pain,
Not my sorrow,
Certainly not death apparently.
So do me favor?
Go **** yourself.
You think you're so cool for running from the police,
Getting girls numbers by the tens
Just for the fun of it?
Hah.
You've never been hurt.
You've been beaten by your father for not getting good grades, your fault mind you, but you've never been genuinely hurt, have you?
You have no clue what it feels like to watch your friend die, or to be so frustrated that you've resulted in giving up and letting everything push you around... you have no idea.
I can tell from your idiotic behavior and ingorance.

Hm. Now watch this. You're gonna read this.
And you'll make fun of it too.
Behind my back,
Of course.
You'll maybe apoligize with a smile,
Then ask me for a pencil, and a sheet of looseleaf.
Hah.
Like hell I'm giving you ****.
You know what you ******* need?
A life.

Cause maybe,
Instead of laughing and pointing at my ***,
Or laughing and teasing me and talking bout *****, ****, and all the girls aroind you like their objects,
Or not doing your work and mooching off of people,
You could have gotten your **** together
And became successful.
I pity your insolence.
Bowedbranches Dec 2021
I miss
Laying in that
Queensized nest
with you
Wishing this off day
Would never end
We blacked out our curtains
Put on cartoons
And slept
Like sweet little babies

Until life almost had to
Rip me away from
Your warmth
The reason I woke up
Was for those days
The reason I broke my back,
And felt bad I didn't
Have more  To give,
Was for those minutes,
That I cherished
more than
GD anything
Still feeling my head in
Your hands
So familiar,  so specific
I apoligize ..
for dropping the ball ..
..All those years ago
Edward Jan 2020
I am inspired , by each of you whenever I come here.
Your encouraging words, are Beautiful and Touching.
I see your Heart , for God is an Warrior Heart of Gold.
I see the beauty , in each of your life here on HP site.
I want to first apoligize to those poetry that I have miss.
I am sure that they are beautiful , and from the heart.
I wish that I could meet every Poet and Poetress here.
To have dinner with and talk bout your life my friends.
For each and everyone of you are Truly Special Thank you.

— The End —