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When I was a girl I loved cars and Kim Possible
And green rocks I’d find in the pebble fillings of our school playgrounds,
Because they were rare and therefore special.
I read twenty books on gemstones and minerals and stared at the pictures for hours
Hoping one day I could be beautiful and solid and reflect the colours
You can’t see
If you burn your retinas looking directly at the sun.

When I was a girl I became a driveway because I thought
If I paved myself with tarmac or cement
I’d be hard enough to withstand the weight of everyone around my heart
And grounded enough to support myself,
But the construction workers forgot to check for groundwater
And I caved in when people decided
To unapologetically and unquestioningly park their ***** in the handicap spot,
Mistaking the importance of my handicaps for the importance of their egos.

When I was a girl I became an asteroid,
Seeking a gravitational pull around a star that would give me a name and meaning.
But instead I found a black hole,
And before I realised my mistake in universal direction
Her gravity obliterated me
And absorbed whatever the **** was left
Of the force I could have been.

When I was a person I became a tree,
Rooted to the earth rather than separate
And absorbing the light for sustenance.
I’ve forgotten what it means to be hardened,
But even my cells have walls around them
And now I’m as afraid of the ground as I am of the sky
And brave enough to reach into both
And just maybe find some answers in the crust or clouds.
Diamond Johnson Aug 2014
To live with

To live without

My whole life is filled with doubt
Diamond Johnson Aug 2014
People Crying

then once again the sun comes up

and its morning
Diamond Johnson Aug 2014
Lonely staring at these black walls
Empty spaces
Ghostly faces
Hopless wishes
Empty kisses

Wondering if anyone misses

Diamond Johnson Jun 2014
I always had one thing to keep me steady
my mom
i know shes a drunk
but at least shes not an angry drunk like my dad
watching him hit her was the hardest thing growing up
it taught me i cant do anything
that i cant stop anything

Then again
my mom isn't helping me that much either
dad had a problem even i know that
but she didn't even try to help him
all she did was send him away
now my dad is in jail
she doesn't care about me
I wish my dad was here
at least he cared

Then i met josh
he was then sweetest boy you could met
but like my father
he was an angry drunk
he use to hit me
but he would always apoligize
and instead of not trying like my mom
I tried to help him
and I fell in love

Josh broke up with me one day
he texted me and said
I'm sorry baby but this is not gonna work
I couldnt believe it
my whole life i spent working with him
he was my life
he was my everything
and without him i didnt want to live

On that night
I was talking to Nina Worsley
and Chloe Jackson
they helped me survive that night

I was getting by fine without Josh
I even met a new boy Korri
but recently
hes been texting me
asking for me back
last night he told me my brother wanted to be part of his gang
he wanted me to meet him to talk about it
so i went

but when i saw him i fell in love all over again
and i want him back
and he will take me

Someone please tell me
What do i do next?
I  w a s  l e f t,

  m    a
  i      t
  e    b
  r    e
   a     s
      b     t

   D a n c i n g      o n   t h e   e d g e
\a n c i n g /         o n  t h e  e      
\n c i n g /        o n  t h e   d      
\c i n g /       o n  t h e   g      
\i n g /        o n  t h e   e      
\n g /        o n  t h e   o      
\g /        o n  t h e    f      
         V              e d g e                 


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