how can such an ugly thing
look so pretty
as its written
anx-i-et-y

the easiest way to tell another of anxiety
is to simply say that it interrupts.

it interrupts your life,
gets in the way of love
and laughter.

Just like a well placed hyphen - anxiety interrupts

When did friendship come with an expiration date
Since the first date we were strung out
Rung out and left to decay away
I thought I called Philotes all this time
Wrong dial- wrong mood- Oizys answers me in her place

It is the fear of absolment that vices my tongue
For I too often dissolve beneath others' acid
Quicker to cut the appendage than to gather my pride
Or what's been scraped from me

The monster in my ribcage
Is trying to claw her way out
again
Carelessly crashing against my heart
Denting it, scratching it, breaking it
again
I didn't ask for a demon
But it's not like she wants me
alive
How does the darkness in my mind
Make its way to my chest to
abuse
In a room full of people
She always makes me feel
alone
Gripping my heart and haunting my mind
Images of dying
alone
And I guess it's no wonder
I always find drugs to
abuse
Please never ask me
If I really want to be
alive
She controls me
Shaking my bones
again
Call her a disease, call her a monster
She owns me
again

And I know youll use youre gender nonspecific pronouns,
You think that won't hurt me
Ill tell you say he instead of they... if that's what it is it, it should be what it is. I wont think you any less or more
You can trade in her for him and she for he and its all ok
Its not my  fault, its not your fault
You dont choose who you love
That doesnt change that you loved me... once... in august, in may
May day may day I hear you calling
Dont fret, be free I know you loved me three and I loved you two
Its not my fault and its not your fault
You dont chose who you love
And that doesnt change that you loved me once and you love me still
And my heart still beats
Louder than crickets speak in a still, tranquil, night when you walk in a room. And I see you hold stares longer when they walk in than when I did, ****. My heart beats in anx-iety but its still all love.

Will the world ever understand
the anx of my best friend
as she tried to convey her true self

Mentally she paced
as she tried to fill the space
that would paint a path into her head

Im scared!
i cant say

im here for you
your safe

just tell
what it is your heart conveys

Anxiety
Forming
Taking shape
Like an alien within
Morphing into
Moving
Stretching
Getting comfortable
Taking over
Until
Paralysis sets in