[Hook: Ester Dean]
Voices in the air
I hear them loud and clear
Telling me to listen
Whispers in my ear
Nothing can compare
I just wanna listen

[Verse 1: MGK]
As my, world turns
The heart beats
Not only in my chest
But the heart in these streets
So when they feel this, they feel me
But I can't feel nothin', outside these dre beats
I am from the city of evil, came from the bottom
Standing on top of what was supposed to be my coffin, whats up?
Inception shows me as a dead man walkin', but reflections shows this kid's still got it
Let it be known I got the throne like I don't know that there's a king
Never grew up around a family because I'm not a human being
And anyone under my level that’s coming at my spot for the top
Let them have it, cause when I leave, the whole world drops
Lace up Kells

[Hook]
I hear voices in the air
I hear em’ loud and clear
Telling me to listen
Whispers in my ear
Nothing can compare
I just want to listen
Telling me I am Invincible (3x) - oh oh
Telling me I am Invincible (3x) - oh oh I am

[Verse 2]
Waking up sweatin from the stress of being caged down
Everything I write is played out like what is this ?
Tear the whole page out
Man I come from holes in the wall but they don’t know the path
Even if I told them it all, they wouldn't know the half
So maybe I fill up my luggage with all of these dreams and put on my black coat and my black chucks and nothing in my jeans
And just run, till the day comes like Rocky’s movie scene
And I’m on top of the world, look up and scream like this is me, this is Kells
Crucified by the public without the nails
Do or die in my city but clearly I never failed
Lost myself in the game when I found myself in a cell
Then I found myself in the fame when I lost myself in the pills
And you cannot mess with me still , seen them boys and they winnin
Underdogs of the year Cleveland boys in the buildin'
What the **** is a ceiling I’m taking this to the top, and when I leave the whole world drops Lace Up Kells

[Hook]
I hear voices in the air
I hear em’ loud and clear
Telling me to listen
Whispers in my ear nothing can compare
I just want to listen
Telling me I am Invincible (3x) - oh oh
Telling me I am Invincible (3x) - oh oh I am…..

Intro (1st stanza)
Sa lahat ng kung sino o ano ka man,
at maging sa lahat ng di mo tunay na pagkakilanlan,
madalas nga ikaw ang sa puso ko'y nananahan,
Sa iyong balikat ako ay iyong pinapatahan,
Sa twing Ako'y nababalot nitong karimlan,
Liwanag ka sa aking nagugulohang isipan.
pagsinta mo sa aking nararamdaman,
ang siyang tangi kong tangan-tangan!

1st refrain
kapag nais kong lumuha
laging naririyan ka
Sa pighati at saya
laging naroon ka
karamay nga kita
Ano man ang aking dala
wala pa man akong problema
ako na ay iyong hila-hila
sa lugar kung saan pila-pila
ang mga nakahain na di basta-basta
pagkat ang sisidlan,laman ay sobra-sobra!

2nd stanza
hindi tulad sa liwasan na aking pinanggalingan
doon sa may gawing silanganan
na di raw kailan man lumulubog ang araw
ngunit wala naman akong liwanag na matanaw
Subalit ngayon
binago mo
aking kahapon
Sinama mo ako
Sa iyong patutunguhan
pinanatili sa 'yong kandungan
bagamat ang haring araw ay walang masikatan
at kay panglaw man nga dito sa kanluran

2nd refrain
Maliwanag kong Naaaninag
ang pinaka-marilag na sinag
na tila ba nagsasabing,,,
halika dito sa aking piling...
hawiin mo ang ulap na tabing,
at tutuparin ko ang 'yong hiling.

adlib
DAMDAMIN MO'Y 'WAG NANG IKUBLI,,
SA AWITIN KONG ITO 'WAG KANG MAG-ATUBILI,,
BASAHIN MO ANG AKING MGA LABI
TIYAK DARATAL SA IYO  MATATAMIS NA NGITI
SABAYAN MO AKO SA AKING HIMIG,
'DI BA'T ANG MUSIKA'Y ATING TINIG.
NA TILA BA DAYAMI DOON SA KAMALIG.
SA BAGYO'T SIGWA WALA ITONG LIGALIG!

3rd stanza
'pagkat alam Niya may isang Ako
na mangangalap ng Kanyang piraso
upang sa muli nga'y mabuo
ang taglay nitong komposo
hanggang sa ang naturang Ikaw ay mapagtanto
na hindi lang Sila kundi pati na rin Tayo
ang sa Kanila ay siyang dapat magpayo
"ano man ang galit Mo sa Mundo,,,
at sa Iyong buhay ay di Ka makontento
'wag na 'wag kang sa Pagsubok ay magtampo
Tandaang Ninyo na ... Nasa Puso ng Tao
masisilayan ang Ilaw na nagpapatingkad
Sa Daigdig Natin na animo'y di na sumisikad
na halos hikahos ang MARAMI sa pagtingkayad
mamataan lamang Nila ang tanglaw sa pagsayad"

repeat 1st refrain except last 5 lines

chorus one
ohh Sanlibo't Isang Awit
sayo ako'y kakapit
hawakan mo nga akong mahigpit
sa twing mensahe mo'y kinakawit
mga damdamin na hugot
sa aking pag-iisa ay sagot
napapawi mo nadaramang poot
tuwa man o isang lungkot
ang hatid na iyong dulot
mga liriko mo sa akin ay nanunuot
dagliang naiibsan itong pagkabagot

repeat adlib

chorus two
Lalo't kapag ang 'yong melodiya,
sa pusong umiibig ay kaiga-igaya,
umasa kang ang iyong ritmo ay lampas ilaya.
di man pakawalan matataas na nota... tono mo ay malaya!
At patuloy kitang pakikinggan
taimtim ko ngang susundan
mga letra mo sa Dalampasigan
kahit pa kahit na paulit-ulit mo akong talikdan,,
batid ko naman ang koro mo'y walang hanggan
tangayin ka man at mapadpad sa Laot ng tagdan
di maglalaon muli kang dadaong sa may Pantalan
para ikumpara ang luma sa bago **** kasarinlan

repeat 2nd refrain
do the bridge (3x)
repeat Intro
repeat chorus one and two
repeat bridge once again in a fading away voices

BRIDGE:
sabihin man nila na ako sayo'y baLiw
ligaya kong natatamasa, di na magmamaLiw
wala man akong instrumentong isinasaLiw
itong Sanlibo't Isang Awit,alay ko sa'yo giLiw

Inspired By Sally Bayan
my very first particular song in its parts
that comes from the bottom of my heart

© solEmn oaSis

daisy daisy
snow flake
you are my
little elf.
on this holiday.
you are my  special
little friend.
on this holiday.
daisy snow flake
you bring joy
to all  little boys and girls.
on christmas day.
building toys
for little boys an girls .
on this christmas day.
daisy daisy
you sure are wonderful elf .
daisy snow flake.
on this christmas day.

sing 3x  that song

god bless the child .
on this holy day
the lord is born.
on this christmas day
peace  on earth.
the lord has come.
the lord  has come.
on this holy day
to share the love,
of peace an hope.
on this christmas day.
hold the children .
with in your hearts.
on this holy day.
share the love of peace.
on christmas day.
O"holy angel sing
bless child  on the street
they  need are  love an
tenderness .
on this christmas day
god bless child
on the street.
hear them cry .
on this christmas night
god bless the child.
share love  of peace
an hope.
on this  christmas day.
share the love peace .
on this christmas  day.
god bless the the child.
the lord has come.
on this holy day
god bless the child an all his little one's
on this holy day.
the lord has come.
to share the love of peace.
god bless the child.
on the streets.
share the love of peace
an hope .
on this christmas  day.
god bless this world an all
his little one's .
share love  of peace on this christmas day.

3x sing that song

hear my song.
hear my song.
angel of my heart.
angel of my day.
you feel my life
with joy.
O'angel of the moon lite night.
you touch me with your love.
you hold in your heart.
O'angel  of  my heart.
an dance with me my angel love.
in the moon lite night.
the stars shine in the skies.
an hold me in your arms my love.
my angel of the  moonlite night.
feel the love , feel the joy.
an hold in your heart.
in moonlite night.
you are angel of a spring time
song in june.
an walk with me my love.
in this land of wonder.
i ownly dream of you.
i give my love to you.
you are the angel of heart.
the angel of my day.
you are the angel of  moon lite night.
in  june.
come walk with me my love
an hold in your heart.
you are the angel of my heart.
the angel of the moon lite night.

3 time sing that the song

ginger snap an
rainbow dot.an
apple pie an mistoe
on this christmas eve.
share the joy of happyness.
on this christmas eve
have a glass of egg nog
egg nog
egg nog
on this christmas eve.
an walnut bread.
an yammy
an yammy
yams.
an coco nut
cream pie
on this christmas eve.
joy joy
feel the love feel the joy .
on this christmas eve.
joy to the world too
all the little boys an girls
santa is comeing with toys
of joy an happyness.
on this christmas eve
merry christmas every one .
share love joy an happyness.

Seduced
by the
school
shooter
singing
siren
songs
of
shotgun
blows
to the heart beat 
of the wet American dream.

It's the human interest
horror allegory
The hero doesn't even get
15 minutes

But the shadow has
got a gun fetish
Counting bullets as 
They're counting blessings,
numbered 1-27
3x his pump action 

Light 'em up
***** 'em out 

Some head-sick self-entitled 
monster in a mask
on a mission of mass destruction
Cashed in on their
little tax deductions

The most sacred snuffed out
before the light could become them

It's the darkness that dominates
As the dragon *******
Witch inside
The mind
displacing emotions
away from the art of 
living 
loving 
and losing

You're the submissive
Ascend the divine madness
or find yourself in shackles
in the machinery. 

Humming
hypnotizing
hymns 
of conformity 

Another one's lost his mind
Descended
And the scapegoat 
is mental illness

We all know, 
The media is the medium
is the message
The subliminal secret passage
to the shared skewed subconscious
Planting ideas of bloodshed
Like evidence in the 
Bodies of specific demographics 

Demonize
Pack the prisons

Capitalize
And cut the blood losses

Here we are now
Hopeless
It makes for great entertainment

babie girl  i need your  love
babie girl you are the one
that make my heart sing with joy
walk this road  of life with me my
sweetie pie .
my babie girl.
you are the one that bring
the music of  love to my life.
my babie girl  you are
the joy  an  magic in  life.
babie girl i need your love.
babie girl you are the
a star angel of my heart.
babie girl  your my love.
the star  angel of sea
in moon lite night .
babie girl your my love
in the sea call life.
babie girl are  sun rise
sun set of my heart.
babie girl your my love
come rain come shine
babie girl you the one
i love so dear.
babie girl your my love.
that bring the special
magic to my   life.
babie girl your my love.
the song of my heart.

read 3 time that song

O"holy night
the stars  shine above us
in  the night.
the lords jesus is born.
O' holy night
an peace on earth
    to night.
as  i held you
in arms O'gentle
love of life.
O'holy  night
hear the angel sing
the lord jesus is born.
O'holy night
the stars  shine above us
in the night.
the lord jesus is born.
O'holy night.
share the love of peace
in your hearts on
this holy night.
O 'holy night
as i held in my arms
my gentle love of life.
O'holy night.
hear the angel sing.
the lord jesus is born.

holy night the angels  sing
tonight.
give a  old time christmas song.
feel  all  the love an joy.
on this holy  night.
hear the bells in the night.
on this christmas  night.
as  angel sing tonight.
O'holy night
the stars shine above us
in night,the lord jesus is born
give me that old time christmas
song.hear the song of my heart.
on this christmas night.
you are angel
of my heart the angel of my day.
you are gift on this christmas
night.
as held the  special gift of life
with in my arms.
on this christmas night.
give that old time christmas song.
holy night the angels sing tonight.
feel the love an joy.
on this holy night.
hear the bells  in the night
as the angels  sing tonight.
O'holy night
the stars shine above
in the night. the lord jesus
is born.an hold me in your heart
as i walk this road in life.
on this christmas night.
god this world and all
his  little one's.
the lord jesus is born
give that  old time christmas song.
on this holy night.

holy night
feel my heart with joy.
the lord  is born on  holy night.
feel the love of hope.
on this holy night.
hear the angel sing
on holy night.
hold me in your arms.
on this holy night.
holy night .
feel heart with joy.
the lord is born on holy night.
feel the love of hope.
on holy night.
holy angel sing
in moon lite night.
peace on earth my
love as angel sing
on this holy night.
feel your heart with joy
the lord is born.
holy night feel your heart with joy.
feel the love of hope.
on this holy night.

O'holy angel
the early morning come.
god bless world an all
his little one's.
O'holy angel
the stars are out tonite.
god bless the little child.
on this christmas day.
O"holy angel
hold  me in your heart .
as walk this road in life.
on this christmas day.
O'holy angel
sing your song to us
sing of love sing of   joy
on this christmas day
O"holy angel.
the early morning come.
bless this world .
on  this holy day.
O'holy angel
of love .
god is love .
god is peace .
god is ever where.
O'holy angel.
god bless this world an
all his little one's.
on this christmas day.
O"holy angel
peace is love
peace is  love on
this christmas  day.

merry christmas
feel my heart with joy.
as dance an dance
in the snow .
in this winter wonder land
feel luaghter feel the joy
it's christmas  in wonderland
of my heart.
you are the magic
of this christmas .
i'am danceing in snow
on cold  winter nite.
is this love that feel
in heart an my soul
merry christmas dear lovely
angel of nite .
in winter wonder land
of the nite.
let make angel in snow
on cold winter nite .
i'am danceing in snow
because i love you. merry
christmas  my love.

softly you speak to me
softly you touch me.
in mid night blue of your  heart.
softly you kiss.
in the moon lite night tonight.
my heart sing of love.
in the mid night blue.
hold me in your arms.
in the mid night blue of your heart.
an talk to me my love.
in moon lite night.
an walk me talk with me.
an laugh with my love.
in the moon lite ,
are heart are free
tonight.
an dance with me my love
in moon lite .
in mid night blue of your heart.
as i wish upon the stars .
to hold you in my heart.
in mid night blue of your heart
tonight.
tonight.
i dream you my love.
in the moon lite night.
in mid night blue of your heart.

why do i love you
can find place in your
heart .
dream of the magic.
dream of the day .
dream holding you in my arms.
places of the heart.
delightful spring time song.
dance with my love.
share time with.
i just want to find
places  of  the heart .
all the star above us
moon lite sky tonite
feel  the magic of
wonder .
feel the tear of soul
as  walk this land of wonder
find the place of heart .
where do i fit .
my love
delightfull  spring time song
dance with me love .
an hold me in your arms.
places of the heart.
as spring time song play on
i love my  dear
as walk this land of wonder
find the place of my heart.
because i love you
places of the heart

repeat three time  the song

stars   in the moon lite skies
hear the angel sing.
hold me in your arms
O' angel of my heart.
on this holy  day.the
stars  shine in  moon lite skies.
as my heart sing with love.
on this holiday.
an  dance with me my love.
on this holy day.
bring all the love an joy
   on holy night.
as angel sing in the moon lite skies.
   on this  holy night.
hold me in  your heart.
on this christmas day.
bring all gift  of love on
this holiday.
dance with me  my love.
on this christmas day.
share all the love an joy
on this christmas day.
the stars out to night.
hear the angel sing.
on this  holy night.
hold me in your arms.
O'angel of my heart.
you bring me love an joy
on the christmas  day .
you are the  special  gift
love  on this  holiday.
hear angel sing on this
christmas day.

3 time sing that the song

touch upon star tonite
O' little  angel of life.
on this christmas  day
as  tonight  tonight.
i wish upon the stars.
to hold my love
in my arms.
on this holy night.
soft words  echo in the wind.
in this  moon lite night.
touch the star in skies
on the  moon lite night.
as the  angel  sing.
on this christmas day.
touch the stars tonite.
O'little angel of life.
the stars are  out to night.
on this christmas day.
so walk with me talk me .
feel the love an joy .
on this special day.
as the  angel sing.
feel my heart with love
an joy.
on this christmas day.
touch upon the star to nite.
O"little angel of life.
on this christmas day.
as tonight tonight.
i wish upon the star.
to hold my love in my arms.
as the angels sing on this holy
night.
feel the love feel the joy
on this christmas day.

sing three  that the song

honey my sweet heart
my sweet heart
my sweet heart
i love you my
sweet heart.
my love is true.
an blue,my lovely
honey.
i love you
as true blue as the sea.
my love.
my lovely
my honey
my honey
i love you my honey
you are the  silk rose of my  heart.
an spring time song of my  heart.
that why.
i love you my  honey my  honey
hold me in your heart.
my honey my sweet heart
i love  you my  honey bunny.
you are a rose of the spring time song.
my honey my sweet heart.
my honey.
i love you my honey .
you are the angel of my heart.
as  angel of my day.
you bring love an joy  to my heart.
that why i love
my honey my honey.

3x sing that the song

Kaiser's hiccups
/are/
   and \were\
   legendary
and probably
  |will be|

having a little break cleaning the house, after having taken out the garbage, the dustmen always come later than the postman, around 2am, i'm guessing my street is their last point of call... which suits me just fine... the house was almost entirely cleaned, vacuumed, floors wiped with detergent... ugh... **** it... lazy fingers... i opened up my guitar case, the PIECYK (amp) is ******, i still have my first ever acoustic guitar but i'm missing three strings, my electric still has all 6 strings... i'll get some jam out... i haven't practiced in years... i figured: if i can't find a drummer... if i can't find a bass player... try the mandolin outside a girls window once, give up the dream, put a poster of a rock band on my wall... do some art when i'm completely "out of it": drunk... poetry: not a most spectacular art... well: it would be spectacular without all the ******* puritans of form, rhyme and: meter? they call it a meter but not a metre? that's a bit like telling someone you weigh... that's mass in kg multiplied by "X" is... 999.6N... ah... i know... science shoved it's pickled brain into casual talk: the distinction between weight and mass... mass came after weight... weight is still commonly expressed foundation akin to height... but it was a welcome break with my seemingly dead electric guitar... dangled a few jangles and jingles of remembering when i used to play... Silverchair's Shade, Red Hot Chilli Pepper's Under the Bridge... Eric Clapton's Layla... Link Wray's Rumble... Grieg's in the House of the Mountain King...

only today i realised that people are truly lonely...
odd... when i was in my utter depths of despair:
no one came... but who did come? me!
i picked myself up, no one was willing...
but then... coming across a descending /
an ascending choir of song in an empty church
then hearing a great wind disperse the singing:
i did have my technological asset with me...
the hallucination, the, "hallucination" was so potent
that... regardless of putting in my headphones
or not... the singing continued...
it was only when i scuttled and hid beneath
the altar and took the altar cloth off the altar
and covered myself momentarily with it
then starting running around the church like
a headless chicken... i know! i know! i know with
a BURNING I KNOW... if i uttered a word
i would hear the wrong reply!
either a god descending or a devil ascending...
after all... either side has a singing choir...

people are truly lonely...
i'm alone... loneliness is something that
attracts people to me...
i can't stomach loneliness...
for me that's like... the cul de sac of former
extroverts having an orange with no
orange juice to trickle down into a glass:
half full? regardless the optical misnomer of
calling the same glass: same... half empty...
i am more than willing to do this security
job because i get to do some decent work...
like being a chemistry teacher...
it's a great narrative canvas...
i write over what was already talked (over)...
that's how you get to paint by writing...
you're not some Tolstoy's...
no... not some Pavlov's dog trying to wet his appetite
but also sweat... via drooling saliva...
before my shift i had that random conversation
with mother...
she was watching the t.v. adaptation
of Leo Tolstoy's War & Peace and i said to her:
i don't recall having ever read Tolstoy...
he's not like Dostoyevsky, is he?

so we compared: Tolstoy is the writer
of the macro-cosmos... of events that shake nations
and the individuals: "individuals" are sort of:
chess-pieces...
it's the sort of literature of the salon...
Dostoyevsky is a psychologist...
a world war II might be taking place...
but... but... some Heinrich *******is getting dealt
a terrible hand of both luck and fortune...
like i said to my ailing mother:
she half-jokes aligned with giving birth to me
being her crucifixion...
i joke back: maybe if i wasn't born
i would have both my hinds...
i was once called a: hunchback angel by a guy
advocating the advent of the DUB-STEP musical
genre... way before DUB-STEP became bust
and only associated with SKRILLEX
"drop the button buster, beat, blah blah"...

reimagine drunk conversations in a pub...
in a PLOOB... Scouse? i don't know... maybe somehow
someday, maybe...
    ich sehen rot.. ergo: ich aufladung,
i.e. go! i.e. gehen!

people are so lonely, not having read anything of
philosophy...
if i were to learn anything from the sage-father
that my father isn't....
read philosophy when i'm old and clinging ton sanity
with a chance: oops...
*******... death end clue...
what?                        before you're dead...
please leave your nappies alongside the rest
of the remains of you...

i was having a: drinking session with
newly married couple... Irish traveller...
i downed his, my, his, my: whichever pint
long before the closing hours were done...
Frankie... Francesca...
**** me... Matthew Conrad "m.d."

it's called: tunneling!
me what?! a **** was asking me to g back
to her flat to sniff some *******...
smoke some ****....
i'd love to...
        but i need to make my mother
a coffee come 9am...

i never realised people could become so lonely
and when drinking enough become so blatantly obvious
about it...
it took me one night trip to find a fox's corpse
by the side of the street
to subsequently find a skip and some black bin bags
wrap the road-****... walk with it for almost five miles,
stopping off at the house to weigh myself
then me and the carcass...
amassed to about 7kg... a big, healthy *******
of a fox...
when i was picking him up from the pavement
at 5am a man and a woman were eying me up
like: no... not a ******... a shaman...
they should i might be pretending to chop the fox up...
i just didn't want such a beautiful creature,
beautifully dead, serene, lying on the side of the street...
the only burial i gave him was throwing him
into some thorny bushes by a stream...
another time i was playing i-see-you-but-you-don't-see-me
with another fox... sat on a curve and just eyed it...
until a woman passed the fox and me sitting across
the street drinking a beer... WE'RE MEDITATING!
did the fox flinch? nope... the woman walked about a metre
from the fox... ****** didn't flinch...
i was working up to the TOTEM...
it took one afternoon of the door being opened to
my kitchen and me cooking up two curries...
hey presto: BRODY...
that ****** came for leftovers from meals for over a month...
until, he stopped coming...
i'm guessing he was hit by a car...
but... i'm guessing my care for one fox being
somewhat properly buried and another fox coming
to inquire about: what smells so good
is the reason why i have captured such great photographs
of a fox in my garden...

- hmm... date? or after work coworker drinks?
i know that i scribbled in my little notepad
when she went on her Nth visit to the toilet...
my guess is that males have weaker bladder
of the sexes... a SPRINKLE OF SOME MARIJUANA..
i'm waiting for VOLTAGE...
i'm about to hallucinate in ink... burgundy mixing itself
with Bishop Purple...
those first 30 minutes after a sunset...
cycling down the A12 with heavy traffic... reaching the Green
Belt between Romford and Mark's Gate...
breathing through the nose...
Spring is teasing... Spring is teasing with her
oncoming stealth of scents...
the earth is yet again starting to breathe...
first comes the botanical kingdom,
soon after will come the kingdom of the insects...
wait! i have not heard of an angel or a demon
associated with botany! in charge of, say... roses...
too good of a mark for a Saint George with...
or was that St. Stephen...

write like an imitation of ice-skating...
pretend to fall... gain momentum...
think out a thinking of shadow, curb,
night and walking Ninja hey-presto! feline...
think a loudness: think the loudness...
the ***** of a 4 x 4 pedestrian cross
section of Tokyo...
leave your cycling attire on the bed, stinking of you...
watch a female cuddle and curl up to your Lycra
long-shanks for the specific reason: been cycling...
acid on a bicycle... the 1st and the only ever tRIP...

i always wanted to travel to India...
and walk back to England...
i always wanted to do that...
second: if? aha... QUESTION "question" questing onion
quest of an onion... ANSWER:
i swear, i: as it were... as it is... i: as it were:
i of i, i off i, i vs. no-i...
not i vs. not-i: schizoid broo... Brrrrr... BWOOM(B)
***** a-plenty with witches...

fly fly away my little star...
fly fly away my little st'ah... st'ah...
Stachurski! da da da... ditch Z-Detusche:
na minute, na chwile! na jedno
i drugie dingo dingo!

Lord of the Mushroom!
and mushy peas... and... dhal...
Lord... Bel
              פִּטרִיָה               (Be-EL)

i'm shocked that the gnostics didn't...
to be honest? what was missing in Hinduism?!
what was missing in Hinduism?!
AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

oh yeah... that's a Satanic laugh that is...
a laugh that makes the existence of soul viable...
it is a glowing...
when one internalizes laughter with eureka
and mixes it up with stage-fright and a "hate"
for the sound of one's voice...
but then from time to time...
one is caught singing while doing chores and finds
one's voice appealing to be given song
rather than words to speak or write...

but not even in Egyptian mythology...
it was coming! it was ******* coming home!
the botanical godhead...
in the pantheon was missing!
was missing in the pantheon!
the

פ
P / PH / F (greek sidelined, referee: TH)eta
ט
T
ר
R(esh)
י
    YOD: first son of Yiddish: YON... by a boy named
YON...                  a

      e                                               i
                            Λ
                            Y                                  (LY)HH
    
                  o                       y

ה
hello friend: vowel catcher and laughter generator ...
ה not Π... that one connecting letter: ח

hmm: older than capitalism and communism,
but to simply the problem up:
capitalism is the lion
and everything English...
capitalism is the bear
and everything Russian...
vice versa for communism...
the English bred their mythos on the superiority
of a lion and... a unicorn... more a Celtic, Scottish... thing...
the Russians on... a union with the bear...
the bear and the two headed eagle: ergo:
another unicorn...
like the Srbs... serbs... two headed eagle?
the Soviet downfall with the two-headed eagles
of Chernobyl?
       ******: moi... i seriously sometimes forget
my own ethnicity i'm so caught up in English
metropolitan... cosmopolitanism...
      the Global City-Free-States... CITIES AS STATES...
very imaginable...

not City-States... rather... on the global connectivity
project?
what Dinosaur what meteor?
what super-volcano what Yellowstone
what man?
  it's a bit like Pompeii...
give the worlds greatest party and then the volcano
explodes...
better than a meteor: a volcano killed us...
Yella Big Yella...
            the greatest, supposedly no OB-EASE:
into obese...
          ah ah... tongue out... speak! the prolonged A
of neither ah not āh...
                      -
                        2

                                      ****... that's chemistry's notations...
                     2
                  -                                 (huh?!)

the macron over the A... for AAH...
i.e. not an:                                                      ah!

                        á!
                                               A
    
                                   H                        H

           á                                   'ey?!
                                ha ha: key?    hey?!

the burial ground of...
    hmm...
               BEE-EL...
      
PHTRYH: the godhead is that of a mushroom...
people partied to the music of: infected mushroom...
a god is making himself known...
like the false god of H. P. Lovecraft
horror-imago: Nyarlathotep...

precisely! what vowels!
PH or P or F?
   two H's emerged... a good sign that it's PH
for aesthetic reasons...
scribbling this down...
i feel like i'm actually left-handed...
a diametrical opposition to the stasis-enforced
gravity of nothing falling: everything sitting...

ph(aeiou)t(aioue)r(aouei)y(aueio)h(aeiou)

if insects can be allowed the dimension of godly
creatures: thousand blessings on the head!
the lion's head the eagle...
emblem of the Volk of the Volcano:
a Mushroom-Head...
                    
toilet... ah... welcome relief... the water is running...
running...
hmm... from a top... otherwise flowing...
if...
lake: mirror imitation, Lake Narcissus and
his brother Sea Samael: Death...
     like absinthe before adding water like it
was milk...
the water is in tide: with tide: use the FORCE...
tide...
   like water found the force... the force:
with force water found gravity via tide...
earth found gravity with the quake
fire found gravity with the sparkle of the stars...
fire... charcoal peered at night at the already
lighted... as he admired the lightning with fear...
no lightning ever warmed...
comforts of a distant home... fire found gravity
envying the stars... Prometheus who?
and the brothers of Gaia?
Fero...
                fire...
                              AQ... the water brother...
ah... forgot about the younger sister:
AIA...              air...

what a weird ******* date, coworker after shift drinking...
i've never been on a date with a lesbian...
i felt... TESTED... we watched almost the entire match
Chelsea women vs. Tottenham Women Hotbras...
coming close to the end of the shift she asked
if i wanted to go drinking...
sure... why not...

            hmm... it became a date... after she bought the two
rounds i paid for on our previous encounter
when we actually went ice-skating and i became
a local internet sensation for teaching seagulls how to fly:
wearing ice-skates, frozen lake: fly fly!

so we start... the pub is getting busy...
it feels worse than a strip-club...
at least in a strip-club most people are naked
and people get to wear imaginary masks...
in a pub? **** me...
people are dressed up and are made to wear
imaginary clothing! ha ha!
masks?! what masks... a LIE is 10 masks... one lie equals
10 masks... because a lie concerning
the body of soul... is accented with more than
a physical imprint...
LIE MASK AS IF PRETEND SUPPOSE SO
AS IF AS SO CALL IT QUITS
ACTING

it felt like a date... she was getting all nervy...
going to the toilet... checking her phone all the time...
i was patient, smart girl, while i was pretending to
opt out from her OCD... check the phone...
check the fridge-freezer... check your opt out
capacity for a TV license...

how do you go out on a date with a lesbian?
neither you nor her are advocating for woke talking points...
about pronouns or... Furry? listen...
she talks to me about getting FIFA '22...
i finished gaming off at PS1 and reliving the golden days
by re-watching the walkthroughs of
MGS2 (metal gear solid 2)...

because? movies are ****...
i don't want to want these women...
i want... a ******* canoe and a ******* paddle!
and a grizzly bear cub to cuddle and a birch tree to cuddle!

MUFFA!
YEROYI... AHMADI-DEM-BASHAI
YAMSH'EH GIBYT!
VAZOL: OCH TIBI IM PEO-OM-KATA
ES O I TOBOM.

no language suddenly praise with the rigidity of
continuation...
i'll be honest... what do i need a woman for?
to get old, get a haircut... buy food...
not watch the sunrise or the sunset...
instead watch the news on t.v. watch the t.v.
not watch the aquarium?
don't own an aquarium?

own a car but don't own a bicycle?!
in London...
it was 2: so nie to know you: snooze:
represented by letter Z or 2...
if 5 is S and 6 is b...

                     the marriage of letters
to numbers... numbers? meaningless...
absolutely... meaningless...
199 KILOGRAMS
200 CENIMETRES
X contra "x"...

        dead-weight marrying
      1 + 1 + 1 = 3
when marrying
o + n + e = one...
              ah! but 3 and one are different!
former? the forever unit...
latter? the splinter, E3...
forever question...

               turn 3 into omega...
when sharpen it up for a SH... hide the H...
wake up the Z... hide the Z
emerge with a v above an
                           S

call it crown....

     - so Francesca asked me to go drinking again:
again a date doesn't feel like a date...
am i supposed to know about the plethora of female
sexuality?
         **** McDonald one day...
   straight out of Orange is the New Black the next?
just for drinks... i thought we would equal out the tab
on who paid for what previously...
went into the pub at around 20:30 came out around
00:15... we watched the females' football league...
her team, Chelsea beat Tottenham at the Leyton Orient
ground: no plague of parakeets...
honestly: hand on my heart and one on my ear
standing naked before four mirrors:
i did not hear about wild parakeets... parakeets
in general since: only since i worked the Craven Cottage
shifts... Bishop's Park was full of them!
there were no wild parakeets in Essex... not that i know of...
i once listed down all the birds
i could see from my garden...
seagulls, kestrels, two hawks battling in the air,
woodland pigeons, urban pigeons,
crows, magpies, sparrows, swallows,
robins, blackbirds, Canadian geese (migrating),
mallard ducks (also migrating), swans (migrating ditto)...
but sure as **** no parakeets!

in that session i bought only 1 round...
she was hungry so she ordered food...
three plates of food...
fried wings with two sauces...
a bowl of cheesy fries with strips of bacon
and a bowl of popcorn chicken which
i first thought was: battered and deep-friend
mozzarella nuggets...
i had three things... showing off my eating skills...
my grandparents never used to eat
the cartilage and the best meaty bits
off of the chicken legs, drumsticks or wings...
i went a step further...
a bit like eating a whole apple... including the core...
aa magic trick of eating:
you begin with holding something in your hand...
then it disappears completely...
holding an apple, whole, and eating it whole...
subsequently is a bit like playing with a top hat
imagining red eyed albino bunnies, from Albania
(albino >< Albania).. clash of borrowed letters
but two completely different meanings...

etymologically: Albania: land of the Albinos:
Albanios? more like a he, noun...
a mountain, a he...
                 a lake: he and she... neither, always:
if reading English like a native
of the tongue...
                        Albatross from Albanions...
poetry borrowed from a dictionary, rigid function:
hiding the rhyme
exposing the etymological "rhyme".
Alba-
                                      white...
a dyslexic meets a Daltonist in Dover..
the dyslexic arguments are along the lines of:
Dawid Bovie... dead... pish-poor shapes to be be
before huddling out the grave
for a Madame Tussauds pose and a quick nap
and not asking for
a Doppelganger like Sisyphus without a stone
but the equivalent worth of the stone
in pebbles...

    i would be a fair god...
if i'm willing to give birth to an angel of the Botanical realm
since there's the Lord of the Flies... Beelzebub..
and there's the Lord of the Mosquitos: Jesus "sacred heart"
reincarnated by Jungian inspection
a literal: MOTHER... ******...
Chirst...
                      it's not enough to play the pig's blanket
and pretend a crucifix is a ***** and in dire need of being
used by a ******* according
to Marquis de Sade...
Phateroyah...
                     obviously the vowels will change...
with vowels like water and consonants like earth...
punctuation is like air... punctuation and a physical
representation of writing: nothing ethereal,
nothing metaphysical... writing with expression
on our faces... writing as something less and less
a claustrophobic or its implosion: to an effect...
writing less about an extension of thinking...
in the Cartesian dynamic:
res extensa: via writing, alternatively:
if one were to be prone to smoking enough marijuana:
auditory hallucinations... writing is
by definition the same variant of the EXTENDED classification
as a schizophrenic's auditory hallucination...
the former just forces it upon others...
the latter is unwarranted access to a corrupted ego...
a hurt ego...
an ego without the capacity to imagine,
to dream, to digress...

i showed her how to eat chicken proper...
i ate three wings, two chips avoiding the bacon and cheese,
and about three popcorn nuggets...
i forgot myself: once all the cartilage on the bones
was cleaned off... i went in to bite into the bones...
the ends are sort of soft and marshmallow-almost...
not in texture... in my reimagining:

reimagining - hmm... Kant...
         remembering...
a prior... remembering...
   a posteriori: reimagining...

if a crime happens we don't have an a priori remembering
tactic... ingesting the realm of a prior
with memory... remembering...
that's what we do...
what came before 5? S? or !!!!! five exclamation marks?
or? >>>>> five more-than signs?
did 5 come before five?
did words spawn numbers
or did numbers spawn words?
clearly they're not identical...
and they operate two different realms...

we have words for numbers...
as we have numbers that are also letters...
but numbers are not words...
even 3.14159....
                   is not a word, but a letter: Pi i.e. P...
it's not a word... it's at best a letter...
i'm thinking the gods are words and the angels
are letters...
  while the anti-gods are constants
and their "angels" are numbers...

constants?
                         3.14159..... is not a constant... it's a freak of O...
a circle... and a whole mythology of the Wheel...
O... ****** VENUS...
  phallus... the egg... Oh and 0ero         Z: zed extended
via snooze: zzzzz... harps and snoring... terrible music...
constants? in numbers as if creating a word?

6.02214076 × 10²³ mol⁻¹

                     Avogardo's: the equilibrium dynamic if
i remember correctly...
today i learned about...
     Jakob Fugger... back in his day worth around
400 billions "x"... who financed the construction
of St. Peter's in Rome...
i now wish i visited Rome instead of Venice...
          i would have had more fun in Rome...
  
(algebra is the reply, letters imitating
numbers... should the inclusion of MOL be a problem)...

i bit off the chicken legs marrow...
she was in the toilet about fifty ******* times, each time,
ordering more drinks...
we came in at 20:30 and left at around 00:30
at one point she was in the toilet and
i just remembered something...
they have this "thing" in Japan... where you pay a stranger
to pretend to be your friend...
i'm not pretending... but conversation is dry...
i try to ask questions: i ask questions,
i hear replies... but i don't hear reciprocating
questions... Mr. Familiar has or had no problems?
people confide in me and yet
whenever i try to confide in them
i'm told to shut up...
oh... i get it... i do...
before i knew it i was this heaven-sent ideal...
i was the strength and they were the weakness...
i see it now more than even...
she can tell me about her abusive past...
her drunk father who kissed her mother with knuckles
instead of lips... how she's a lesbian but also
a butch ******* **** with hands almost as large as mine
and how her daughter was put into care
because "X"...
but my shizophrenia is a "schizophrenia" is...
i wasted my 20s on anti-psychotic drugs and psychiatrists
that i bundled up and threw into a hornets' nest of
******* *****, threesomes (just the one, but one is
the threshold)... prostitutes: you talk more with your
eyes and your hands and your other endings
and your nose than you care to ******* lasso a string
of coherent words together...

my problem? what problems?! exactly...
there's nothing wrong with me: i have no regrets...
i don't need to speak to someone with an endearing
sake of self definition... i can just scribble notes down
and leave them for some yet to be born
****** of petty things...
i can do just that... no wonder i can't open up...
talk about... "me"? that's still packaged goods...
i'm waiting for the morbid call of a biography
postmortem...

it's strange going on a date with a lesbian...
it's not a date it's me going for after-work drinks
with a colleague...
it's me and her eyeing up the same behind the counter:
tight ***, fake eyelashes she can pull off...
her unwashed pink-fading dyed fair:
feminist... it's me telling her a little about my past:
i had long hair before,
i couldn't pull off a Jesus...
i would only grow a beard if i cut my hair...
short...
she's still trying to find me on social media...
god: i love keeping a girl in suspense whether or not
i have any social media presence...
best try it out with a lesbian first...
we talk about dating apps:
i have a knowledge of their existence...
but hardly a knowledge that might demand
the pressures of: USAGE...

i end up drinking the night away with a revelation...
i was eyeing these two pairs of love birds for some time...

when i was at the Ol' "John's" taking
a whizz... this Greek version of Freak... o.k. o.k.,
ETHAN ROARK type... balding on the top
of the cranium, allows his hair to grow long...
didn't you know...
Garry Glitter was released... he's already
been harangued by the ******* "police"....

what like Batman did a "forever"?
          
   i get paedophiles doing a second jester runner
with meeting up with underage:
sorry... not boring enough?
it's like pretending to be a mandible,
aerobic classed agility with
a prosthetic... that's what ******* a teenage girl
might feel like:
i rather run with deer....
or charm a fox into becoming my totem...
should i be reincarnated what might i come back as?
i'm not banking: i'm saying: fuchs!
fox! LIS!
if i were to freely roam the prance-lands of Essex
as a fox... that's me, done and dusted...

but i wouldn't inhibit a man willing to repent...
after all: if no forgiveness?
the Muslims were right: no crucifixion took place...
did it?
a 78 year old can be given a heave's sake....
life's fruition and that's done...
sorry for the hurt parties... living their:
adamantly purposive lives
with the weight of: Abel not dead...
sorry... the story goes... Cain murders you....
you're still live yet:
you're supposed to be dead...

i'm only making excuses for Gary Glitter...
i wouldn't be for...
Ralph Heimans...
                                 it's music and i can't stop
listening to Rock & Roll parts I & II...

**** me: i ended up the night...
she hated ***** accents.. Liverpool-day-john-ion...
part Eirish: skirmish: scoot!
a Swabian swap... an "oops": Ludwig... or was
that Lufthansa...
this girl, a ***** bridge,,. i'd love to add hired
bride...
                  but instead?

Traveller Irish... i was talking to a bridge...
bride...
you want a drinking race?
ejecting the two pairs...
i snuggled down my pint: his pint...
in 3x glugs... i saw a phantom of an opera...
what?she told me she never used social
media before marrying?
why do i need to Afghanistan to find
datable brides? i squeak and wriggle myself
into the CAMPER VAN culture...
Irish travellers... so? i'll drink with them...
i'd drink with a repentant ******* asking:
was it anything like Nabokov prescribed?!

£30 for 3.5grams of ****...
time excavated? 30+ hours...
£120 + £10 for entry for an hour with a *******...
well... i'd love to prove my masculinity
with having a competing:
hopeless: always alive sort of battery life:
kept up: *******...
but even i think *** is primarily a dosage of
insect desires...
mammals like us sometimes
tend to play games to escape the pressures
of ***...
requested: what? getting my beard trimmed
or getting my underwear "lost" or my ******* "trimmed"?

i get it... ******* are people who are not afforded
a chance to compensate...
relieve themselves through the shared
antics of (shared) grief...
just like Jesus Christ once crucified can't be
resurrected! n'est ce pas?!
what if... the ******* can be left alone...
in his freedom and a freedom-sickly-cage...
what if?!

a bit like saying:
but i can't be anti-racist...
i can be a non-racist...
but i can't be: anti-racist...
                    there are humans either side of
the "argument"...

one mighty argument of goo after another...
inverting the whole dynamic of dates...
seen your face for over a year...
now i heard your voice: your soul...
you heard me laughter...

a naked table, a naked chair...
a dressed table, a dressed chair,
a lightbulb with a cloche...
rigid Slavic KLOSZ...
walls: brick or slab...
naked... wallpaper slapped on...

   how did that "date" end up?
i was speaking to Irish Travellers...
the ****** types... caravan dwellers...
with the girl... snogging before
ordering a pint....
how she was Lady Margaret all pristine
didn't drink or use social media
before getting married...
i was chasing pints...
race: 3x glugs down...
  i out-chased him...

the pub was closing, we wanted the people out...
strange so, talking to this Irish Traveller Lassie,
most settled people with mortgages or
council houses, flats... avoid speaking to Irish Travellers...
but the revelations she uttered...
i might as well been talking to a Muslim girl...
by her account...
she didn't start drinking before she was married...
she didn't use social media,
she said that in the travellers' community having
a social media account is a bit like *******...
hell: i think it's much worse...
fair play to the capitalistic system...
but social media is what it is...
         it has marketed our private-lives...
not written as a complaint...
                        i allowed for that to happen...
willingly...
now i can't simply walk away from the gallery...
i still don't know what to do with it
instead of making if a reference point akin to:
the red and the amber and the green
of traffic lights...
the "system" wasn't going to capitalise on the market
of my dating preferences and ****** encounters...
sure... i don't mind a public "dear diary"...
a place to store links to music videos when i forget
to add them to my browser's bookmarks:
because i've probably added the same song twice...

but Kant has been bothering me...
ever since i wrote:
a priori remembering
    and a posteriori reimagining...
why do i think that it's impossible
to a priori reimagine?
              
i need to go back to the rubric
and try to burn it into my head like the alphabet
was burned into my mind once...
one of the following four
is impossible:
    with the simplest expression for each:

(analytical) a priori                             (analytical) a posteriori
1 + 1 =2                                                   not every man is a ******
wrong!                                                   some men are
that's synthetic a priori!
+, /, £

(synthetic) a priori                               (synthetic) a posteriori
1 + 1 = 2                                                   £: money makes monkey
i synthesised these                                either that shaman
numbers...                                              mushroom on an ant's
analysed what prior?                            buttocks or:
the increasing number                          the botanical "anomaly"
the added, subtracted,                        money is: asexuality it's
multiplied,                                              what if Adam gave Eve
by god sq. rooted?!                              her first un-earned banknote...
1, 2, 3, 4...                                              spend freely! not having
                                                                earned it!
                                                               what if Eden and the apple
                                                                are wholly outdated
                                                                metaphors?

hmm...

the first £10 she got? was that money earned or money freely
given? was she handed down an allowance or
her first earnings? the trickling down idea follows suit:
if her father gave her money for free... for completing "chores"...
if he gave her an allowance: worse still...
without chores...
why wouldn't expect the sane fir passable:
future partners: daddy day-care "hoes"...
                           my daddy this, my daddy that...
HUBBY no. 2... give give...
i drink less... i smoke some marijuana
and i remember that i read some philosophy...
no new grounding since Wittgenstein
gobbled down Spinoza in a ferocious
of homosexual madness of jealousy...
misunderstood by at least 4 parties...

*** and women unplugged...
some of us boys are playing a game of Alchemy...
solid silver, liquid silver...
i guess plastics are gassy silver...
***... can i please assume there might be
two mouths breathing?

I ate your breath before you ate the apple...
i ate your breath while you gauged
my eyes and saw milk in your *******...

in the labyrinth of: i sigh...
i'm to your bidding bound, sire...
i ate your breath long before you might have ate...
that fruit of autumn, fallen, rotten...
fermenting.... this rotten fruit...
no, not plucked from three... ripe and sweet...
rather picked up attired in autumn's clothes:
auburn, over-ripe cinnaamon-brown,
orange and yellow...

you gave me a drunkard's bear or ilk!
male deer! you gave me a drunkard's apple!
i might be stumbling:
but i'm still chiming with the blues!
what Mosad Mandarin faction of
the intelligence community?

   ching-fang-*******-wall'ah-CHANG
wrote a similar (liar) armistice peace-war:
if we can't use this military equipment...
let's, make... ******* movies!
woo yee HA!

Baron astronaut, ergonomic... a house ought
to have two doors: H... a house
ought to have rooms focused upon the dynamic
of Y...
oh **** your woo! woo! glue my ***
of the Tetragrammaton:
i heard it once before:
the Arabs got their pearly and Kentucky bound
Timothy....
while the Hebrews got the paranoia...
windmills in Chelsea, London,
not Kansas... New Lit Bits of Jersey....

i was left aghast... um... i laughed...
i couldn't say the words ****... pairing it up with her voice...

well... according to sources all knowledge a piori
is ANYLYTICAL... but what was i "analysing"
when i was conjuring the letter R or the number Z?
i borrowed the circle from the sun
and the house from the cave?
i must have done so...
i probably conjured the game of rugby from
the sea's tides and yoyo from an egg of a dodo...
and the goal posts from the letter H...
ripples in the water ZigZag and M and W...
cosine as the refined W
and sine as the refined M...

   a parabola confined in a W...
D in do and devil...
God with Dog and: all?! ah!

    i'm not dumb: i just want to extract more from Kant
than people, ever had, toyed with a jihad of had the Hadiths
in a puddle of paper: equaling the refined weight:
of the organic worth of bark? timber: temples of stone
have turned the gods all cold:
about 5 kilograms for a stash of a week's worth of newspapers...

please please don't let me understand myself:
please oh please don't let me understand myself:
when i'm sober and especially when i'm slightly drink...
drunk... drunk... and smoking a bit of ****...
and...

grass is green: after having established that
not everything is grass
and not everything that's grass is green
wheat? grows like grass...
but it's not green...
and it grows taller than grass
and cows and horses don't eat it...

i could watch a thousand movie and listen to a million
songs... i could even manage to love a woman
and her tell me in the cravat adorning mammal skin
caravans... but i'd still go to bed with Kant...


   it's not that difficult but i need to ask myself to burn
this rubric into my mind...
under each the easiest expression: an abstract...
i just can't word it differently:
a priori remembering...
true...
a posteriori reimagining...
also true:
after the fact of seeing a tree...
can i see a tree prior?
ergo? i can't be capable of a priori reimagining...
first i have to see a tree...
but upon seeing the tree i can't reimagine it...
therefore i can only reimagine what comes after seeing it...
how do i practice a priori remembering?
on the most practical level...
i remember 1 + 1 = 2...
history and memory...
sure... but what of history as epistemology?
as a child i'm not really taught that 1 + 1 = 2...
knowledge and 1 + 1 = 11... not "somehow" just by
"coincidence" of the missed meaning of the cipher +,

epistemology and etymology are the only
two branches that should be given access to the study
of history...

reimagining a tree is impossible in that it's a realm
of geometric abstractions that borrow from
geometric orthodoxy and render them useful:
a tree is a home, i can, reimagine a tree...
if i reimagine myself as a bird or a monkey
perched in a tree... reimagining the roof...
via the sky... but that's hardly likely,
mountain and cave dwelling: home...
a prior reimagining is in its own right something...
but reimagining resulted in the dimension
of a posteriori...
i reimagine a tree and make it: a talking tree...
i apply pareidolia...
or like with clouds... those favourites...
why would i reimagine clouds a priori?
i can... but then that would imply reimagining
cauliflowers... or rather: clouds remind me of
cauliflowers: but that's not reimagining either
clouds or cauliflowers: it's remembering what each
looks like and why, subjectively i remember:
that i think they're alike...

hmm... proof: no pudding....
clearest blue...
          or solid green... the Jade from China...
XINY X= CH
we can apply the letter X in our tongue...
that's what marijuana morphs:
the perception of time... 10 minutes already
feel like an hour....
xolera... cholera H! hhhh...
                 xorwat - croat...
                   xemia - chemistry....
chmiel: xmiel:
                              toad breath!
the stuff i sniff up before going to bed!
you ******* DYSLEXIC...

choroba: xoroba...
sickness...

  DYSLEHIC...
                   i'm asking for upgrades...
i hope my upgrades are not too: demanding...
i'm asking... i'm asking...
i'm getting **** all...
well then... best not become a priest
and conjure up what i might need...
i may need this that and the other...
Hebrew...
i'll need the vowel hiding prerogative
to be minded... i'll need Kant..
punctuation marks and numbers....
most certainly letters...
plus akin to comma....

                                 if still alive: i'll lso require death...

chwila: xwila: a fleeting moment...
lapsed timing...
           c H-A
arecz: samo-H-ah...
                  nie na xixota.... śpiew
raptem: tak! ha! ha! aha!

daj znać gdy ty i ja,
tak nagle żyją... i nie... o tak!
i mihght have a Frenchman's heart
to want: Romance after news of
a hereafter..
the moon is blue
the sun is bronze...
the air is milky in the morning...
the water is traffic and there's no
traffic... i'd like death before the explaining mantra:
what's worth a life: squid parody on... ******* skates?!

the love of the gods is doubly insulating...
first they try to demolish you: one ******* fatal claim after another...
the they employ women... they too... *******.. fail...
what are you rounding up against, you?!
sails without winds and no boats to sail with,
the supposed... great artefacts of claiming
the winds!

i once sat alone in a park... hair growing freely....
i had no addition of a face with the addition of hair...
i had no beard, not stubble...
the wind was and my long hair was
and there was, no war, no famine...
there was only dancing and twice reading
into a Charles Dickens...

twice: a rereading a text not available
for journalistic imprints of:
that satisficed mantra of derailing:
expectations of the meddling-ground....

oh well: oh nothing...
oh riddle me some more: nothing...
life is cheap: buy it bought!
sell it sold!
       earn it not living (it); earning it!
ergo: "living"... and (existentialism)...

   a king's frown is a beggar's stomach...
money makes money:
onions grow on trees!

giving birth to the son of Mammon
was... not... hard?
seriously?!
                          thank god i'm twisted in my own
sort of superstitious way...
when there's talk of a birth of an angel...
my ****** demands become joke...
i forget something, and within the confines
of something: almost: everything...

save180:

p'oh tay t'oh
but not
toe-may-toe
that's not
t'oh may t'oh
but...
t'oh m'ah t'oh

         if only it was a p'oh t'ah toe t'oh.

I am a child not a bride.
I am a child not a wife.
I am a child not a mom.
I am a child and I have rights.

I am a child not a bride.
This is too much, too early for my age
To make me a vow to be engage
How could I marry a man, 3x of my age?

I am a child not a wife.
How could someone own my life?
Do I deserve all this strife?
Why don’t you just **** me and get a knife.

I am a child not a mom.
Giving birth, I almost died.
I should be studying, not nurturing.
I should be living, not dying.

I am a child and I have rights!
Rights for life, education and liberty.
Rights you own and taken away!
Rights that I should have, but never you give.

How could someone rate for my virginity?
How could someone take away my liberty?
How could someone trade me as customary?
Why they don’t want me to live happily?

I am living for all their concerns
They took away all my innocence
For the days that I scream
Did anyone care about my dream?

How could I explain the beating?
It feels like I am dying.
My hurt had no healing
Nobody think about my feeling.

I AM A CHILD NOT A BRIDE.
I AM A  CHILD NOT A WIFE
I AM A  CHILD NOT A MOM.
I AM A  CHILD AND I HAVE RIGHTS!

#EarlyMarriage

Can you hear the silence?
Can you see the dark?
Can you fix the broken?
Can you feel... can you feel my heart?

Can you help the hopeless?
Well, I'm begging on my knees,
Can you save my ******* soul?
Will you wait for me?

I'm sorry brothers,
So sorry lover,
Forgive me father,
I love you mother.

Can you hear the silence?
Can you see the dark?
Can you fix the broken?

Can you feel my heart? [3x]

[3x]
I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone.
I long for that feeling to not feel at all.
The higher I get, the lower I'll sink.
I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim.

Can you feel my heart?

Can you hear the silence?
Can you see the dark?
Can you fix the broken?
Can you feel... can you feel my heart?

joy joy it's christmas little one.
on this christmas day .
hear are favorite songs
song  christmas song of joy.
on this christmas day.
song of christmas
song of cheer.
on this christmas day.
hear the angel sing.
joy  joy it's christmas little one.
hear sled bells ring little one.
it's christmas  time little one.
sing the song of christmas.
sing the song of cheer .
hear are favorite song.
joy joy it's  christmas little one.
hear angel sing.
on this christmas day.
hear children play.
joy joy it's christmas little one.
on this christmas day.
hear are favorite songs.
song of christmas song of joy.
on this christmas day.
song of christmas.
song of cheer .
on this christmas day.
hear angels sing.
on  this holy day.
on this christmas day.
joy joy it's christmas  little one.
hear the sled bell ring little one.
it's christmas time little one.
sing the song of christmas.
sing the song of cheer.
it's christmas time little one.
hear are favorite song.
sing  3x  a song

i hear your tears on this christmas  day.
o"angel of the heavens.
when a child is lost in this world
i hear there  tears on christmas day.
because i wish  christmas was  every day.
don't worry o'little one's  .
god is with you my loves.
he hear your  cry O" children in night.
when child is lost  in this world.
O'angel of heaven
it bring tears to my eyes.
that some people don't care.
for children .
i hear there  tears on this christmas day
as the a child lay on his or her bed
an cry them self a sleep on there
pillows  in the night.
when a child is lost in this world.
i hear there  tears on this christmas day.
O' angels of the heaven.
when a child is lost in this world.
god is  with my loves.
i hear your tears on this christmas day.
when a child is lost in this world
where is the love for child that cry
in night.
when a child is lost in this world.
god is with you,an
angel of heaven are too.
so dry tears O'little one's.
an been brave O'child of the night.
people love you for you.an god love an i  love you.
it ok too cry when people hurt you .
i hear your tears on this christmas day.
as tears roll from eyes.
i love an people love you.
when a child is lost in this world.
i hear there tears on this christmas  day.
god love an people love for you.

Looking through the glass,
Gazing into darkness,
Consumed with longing.

Then, being gone.
Emptiness? Void?
Suspended within Infinity.
Missing self.

Glimpse of light and song
As the door closes
Kingdom!

There is a Professor Robbie,
who has a calculating hobby;
He delights in asking his pets,
with multiple inherent defects,
or not too brainy, to be exact.
If 2n is more or less than 2-n,
and 3x is same as 3 men, then,
the study of maths be banned.
With that Robbie will surely object,
for he makes a living on the subject;
He takes not too kindly our slow wit,
and chips away our esteem, digit-by-digit.
Equations after equations, he blast,
until one brave pet, at long last,
who sees more value in a candy bar,
than juggling numbers to solve algebra.
So Robbie, will you be ever so kindly,
spare the aging cells of these cuties,
singularly or simultaneously.
So loose no healthy slumber,
by chasing after prime-numbers;
And we who have trouble with dy or dx,
well, there is always graphic ***.
If you think this -- dX+2(x^2 - x*y^2)dy=0 -- is cool,
to make idiots out of fools,
do not be easily trapped,
into giving polite claps;
or stare at them with awe,
for they are nothing more,
than saying pluses can turn into minuses,
and at times even used as voodoo curses.
But Robbie will still caress them tenderly,
like they are his little babies,
annoying different people, differentially.

when i start drinking i know that i have to start writing
after a few beers in, before the woman of my life Whitney
(i call her that, not Jack or Jim,
what, boys call feminise their guitars -
i have Whitney - auburn skinned and easy, as in
fluid - so before Whitney enters my dietary requirements
i have to write something - that thingy mag-jig
when someone is in a critical condition - in a life or
death scenario - that's me also - although i'm there
not between life and death, but within lost onomatopoeia(s)
of knock knock who's there jokes - but the dissatisfaction
with things - i need to encrypt - reinvent Persian
poetics - keep my mouth shut - see into the yet to come
sunrise - so few poets can actually make you feel
what they feel, poetry is plagued with prompting too
many others - why is poetry the most accessible art-form
and the least satisfying? i gather because it's mostly
unread, and easily prompting others to write it -
the other Pandora - let's just call her a faking Libra -
only in poetry does production of it outweigh
the profits reaped from it - people read little poetry
but write a lot of poetry - because it's the cheap-***
art - esp. in the pixel age of Beelzebub eye's
somehow all those shrapnel windows coordinating a
one-on-one vision - poetry is cheap, hence so many
adherents to practice it - yet so few to perfect it,
or if not perfecting it, at least adventurous and
gambling alike to hold fast to it's tornado essence -
the line: make it personal, but not too personal -
it's as if you had a life outside of poetry... you don't,
stark naked in Eden - and nowhere else, soon and if
applauded for such gesture you'll find less and less
people wanting to attach to you for your "private" life
exposures - if shame can be a Pakistani infused novel
by Salman Rushdie, then it can't be a western poem,
because fate of such weaving is de facto lost, forever,
people basically like their perversity than expressing
a curbing of such self-prompt-inquisitions for strangers' eyes
to scrutinise - indeed quite the reflection of an Englishman
and his house the castle. but the reason poetry has no
status in Western society unlike in Ancient Persia is because
it was killed off - it has no social respect because of
political rhetoric, it has no professional respect because
we have prosaic fudge-packaging writers with their
extensive lullabies of mundane talk and the odd dialogue:
the psychologists that don't listen - and the people
who say they appreciate poetry... but only if they write it -
for the majority of concerns, the Divine Comedy (e.g.)
has more footnotes than any critical work academia -
and i don't mean footnotes as such, but ~footnotes,
more poems... what poetry has come in terms of output
is like a newspaper - quasi-poetry (even with technique,
or none, apparently frailty makes something written
poetic, i call it butterflies in budgie cages - as insects
they heap up the behaviour of banging against the iron bars -
pretence flight - to keep beauty is to keep it sadistically -
and to release it with prior wants to contain it ends up
a masochism - against Nietzsche and partisan with Kant -
let's equate beauty with something that doesn't interest us -
let's poker that expression, what is beautiful is what doesn't
interest us - it's the porcelain effect - the fragility already
presupposed an advent of mortality -
grammar will never abide by the rules of arithmetic -
i will write my german with english grammar -
and i will write Latin according to the reverse principle
of compounding nouns (genus alba) - i.e.
white race - (genus ater) - dismal race - and no other.
- i write this just before Whitney comes along -
what a bridge, aged 40 and always there when the night comes,
we have three children, the first born Amitriptyline (now aged
25 of some unknown unit of measurement, dog years, or x7
to ours), and the twins Naproxen and Paracetamol -
with them i have been synthesising sleep for the past 9 years -
as any chemist would avoiding going cuckoo -
Amtriptyline was born anaemic - with Whitney stepped in
and sorted the matter out - a chemist will never go
with the doctor's orders - no chance in life - chemistry
is abstract medicine - any idiot can prescribe pills and don
the title general practitioner with a wage over £100,000 -
but it takes self-reliance to invert the note: WARNING.
DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL WHILE TAKING THIS
MEDICINE. ha ha... fat chance of that not happening -
i'd be bonkers if i didn't, Whitney will tell you - o.k.,
the excesses of somnia (that variant of sanity, in- and
mm, you know what) are sometimes pointless -
but at least my brain becomes a rechargeable battery sequence.
alternative provocation - Charon's holiday -
i always wondered why the Greeks placed payment
for Charon on the eyes of those about to be cremated -
(liken Hindu, now very morbid - in what element would
man find no animal or insect incubated to survive -
in earth the worms and the moles, in air the birds and
moths - in water the fish and ***** and oysters -
but in fire? a godly endurance - and unto it i too would
like to return to) - two coins places on the eyes -
as if to remind the dead that the veil of materialism will be
lifted when Charon takes his wage from their eyes,
unveils himself first, then Styx and the future of what
greed and excess materialised - such a funeral would be
befitting in our age - as today, five pounds withdrawn from
the bank account, £0.43 in my wallet - a can of beer
at £1.10 - Shanghai math? perhaps, that's about to be implemented -
abstract Chinese v. Johnny ate 10 doughnuts and
how much time to burn the calories off? (latter being English
method of teaching - chemistry, abstract medicine, surgeons
excluded, they're not ascribed the title Dr. anyway,
as you'd expect, pristine butchers' association) - anyway...
i was two pence short of five-fifty, and as i outstretched my
hand with a 20 pence coin, 2x 10 pence coins, a 5 pence coin
and 3x 1 pence coins i dawned on me - the five quid banknote
was already on the counter - my eyes eyed the look in
the cashier's hesitation - the almost neurotic look of despair,
i was short by 2 pence - they weren't there, but
i just imagined that two Greek eyes were staring from my
hand - (i will not put overweight atypical of poetic strain
on the Cartesian equilibrium on the side of i am "Charon,
but it's only a sly-millimetre off from acting, so i guess
it ought to be included) - two 1 pence coins in my hand
missing - the over-suggestive microscopic panic of
the cashier - the opposite zenith of today's parabolic materialism,
for indeed we live in materialism's parabola -
the nadir comes with pennies on the street (thank you
Frank Sinatra) - how could even the most insignificant unit
of the monetary system be nothing more than a pebble?
if i were people, id pay respect to the smallest unit and pick them
up - otherwise money will become altogether useless -
if it isn't already - it's a great way to pass obscure laws
as in throwing a cigarette **** on a street and getting fined
£1000 for it... or how many killed off alliances akin
to family and tribalism - but seeing pennies on the street
is not a good sign - an astounding metaphor - a penny on
a street - i promise i'll not do a Simon & Garfunkel on you -
wormholes of ancient Greek perception lying on
cement, readied to be picked up - the resurrected Greeks
pre-dating Christianity coming back - their eyes
lying on the street - O the woe of our kindred having written
the New Testament - that we must return and see
the world once again for what it is, and for what it will
never be - in such an age, when in ours the old were still
mentally resourceful and not extinguished in soul and thought -
even in body - to this frightening sight -
we paid a penny for each eye when prior we were given
2 pound coins to cross the Styx - now Charon allows
us a penny's worth of glimpse into this world - for he has
no eyes of his own - a penny per eye into the great
seafarer of time's eyes.

There is something different about you,
Something I cannot let go
No matter how many times WE have failed.
There is something different about this time.
Something more genuine,
Something that shows a glimmer of hope.
You have changed,
I have changed,
And maybe we finally have time on our side.
Because you make me sick in the best way possible,
Because the thought of you is frightening and ties my stomach in knots.
Maybe it is a dull ache of knowing it will end the same way.
Or maybe
Just maybe
It's because I know it won't.

hear the bells of  the night
I hear  angel sing .
hear  the bells of the night .
my heart sing of love.
hear  the bells of the night.
merry christmas my love
hear  the bells of the night.
have no fear O' little one.
as walk with you my love.
hear  the bells of the  night.
as we sing  are christmas songs
i hear the angel sing .
in moon lite  night.
hear  the bells of the night.
as i bring gift  of love.
hear  the bells of the night.
hear the song of my  heart.
you are the  gift an the joy
on christmas day.
hear the bells of the  night.
i hear the angel sing.
hear the bells of the  night.
my heart sing of love.
merry christmas my love.
hear the bells of the night .
have no fear O'little one.
as walk with you my love.
as we sing are christmas songs.
3x repeat a song

Three, three blind mice God once sent to me.

Wonderful angels that couldn't see all that I could see.

The third one I want her to see, to see that she's more special than she gives her self credit for, that she brings out the best in me.

& if she didn't believe it before this then I'll  just have to show her she's special going from A to Z.

She's completely Adorable like a baby the first time they taste a lemon thinking its a sweet fruit.

Excessively Beautiful, Sight dominating beauty that makes you wish there was never another sight you had to look to.

Her personality radiates a  gathering passion capable of making the coldest hearts turn Cupidity.

So daring in many ways, completely overly Dramatic at times but who isn't? One of the most dependable people I have there for me.  

Completely Essential, it wildly puzzles my mind how I managed to survive 20 years without her essence in life.

A mouth smarter than Sheridan at times, a attitude hotter than 99 degrees and 100% humidity, she's sure to make a Feisty wife.

She has a smile so attractive that's always Gleaming brighter than when you check your phone in the middle of the night and the brightness is on full blast.

Excessively Honest, almost to much sometimes, like when referring to my looks but nonetheless the type of honorable that makes relationships last.

I've never told her this but there's times when I glance at her & she looks nearly Identical Katrina Kaif, just more real & original, not some crafted photo.

She possesses a spirit that is perfectly Jovial. It's contagious & nurturing, my spirits seem to sink in a little every time she or I have to go.  

Foolishly Kindhearted, over willingly to give to the people she cares for and willing to forgive those she shouldn't.

Rarely a dull moment with her, she's so Ludic anytime I've tried to refrain from laughing at her I simply couldn't.

She's firmly Memorable, unforgettable like a first kiss, first car, or the first time you were asked to prom.

She's needed in our everyday nourishment, soulfully Nutritious, as much needed as a nap or a mom.

Contagiously Optimistic, her faith and positivity always rejuvenates me to make sure I keep that same faith she has in her life.

It is a gift to anyone to be able to look into her Prepossessing gaze, it's alluring like diamonds in her eyes.

Such a Quixotic woman, at least in my eyes. She herself might not agree but I think it would bring this out of the best of men.

Undeniably Royal, we must all bow to her, serve her hot chocolate & warm her blankets. I see no difference between her & the Monarchs they had back then.

Her hugs are Salubrious to the sick, healing & gifting strength and hope, a gift that has no price.

In life we can't trust many but she's undoubtedly well deserving of the label Trustworthy never will any relationship with her be rolling the dice.

Unique, but unique is an understatement. There are other Courtney's but there isn't another Courtney & if you knew her you catch my drift.

Any bleakness she experiences is like a Vociferousscreech to me and it becomes a priority to stop it, doing anything I can to help her mood shift.

An enjoyable kind of Weird, just different. I've had an off the wall friend in the past but she's gotta be 3x more enjoyable and outrageous as he was.

Personally, I hate her X, or anyone that has hurt her for that matter and I'll never forgive them even if she does.

Majestically Youthful, Courtney will mature through life but never age, in 60 years she'll still be running up and down WaWa aisles and I watch still disgusted from the comforts of my wheelchair.

The day she comes into anybody's life she makes that day their life's Zenith & I pray she's around for the rest of my years.

She was above nasty gossip
and
He was a violent perfection
from rubber 24 hours

Because
His 24 hours was a
                                        violent
                ­                                        crazy
                   ­                                                  hate

He thinks stress has trans-fats

and

She has fear at all-nighters
because there's no such thing as
silly all-nighters
far from boredom and regrets

She wants to ban
her fear of boys being players with cement hearts
and
He wants to ban
pretty over-the-top perfection

The both fear
the regrets and pretty lies of love

But
He is pudding
when he's around her
and
She feels like he has a suit of
fresh cement lines

Because she's fallen and is now stuck

They get
jitters next to nerves
around each other

Sick of bad karma
on a birthday
on my birthday

She has 3x fresher ringtones
He thinks the sentence
"that smelly belly"
is funny
I love cheese

We are (nothing but)                                        
Rubber lines                                                   r     o            
like the ugly lies that were always  a      us      u
                                        ­                                    d         n

Ban Insecurity.

O'little angel
on christmas day
O'what a joy
O'what a joy
hear the angel sing
on this christmas day.
god bless this christmas.
on this wonderful day
hear the bells ring
hear the   heart sing
O'little angel of my heart
i love you so.
i love you so.
O'what  joy
on this christmas day
bring all joy happness
to all girl an boy.
on this christmas day.
god bles this world
O'little angel of my
heart.
peace on earth .
the lord is born.
on this christmas day.
share love of  peace.
share love of peace.
on this christmas day.
hear the angel sing.
my friends.
on this christmas day.

repeat three 3x that song

My mental age is accelerating at an alarming rate. Possibly 3X faster than the average human. Maybe even 4. Given my cynical disposition (Grumpy Old Man Syndrome), crew socks, boxers and claim to the recliner - it doesn’t appear to be gender specific in accordance with traditional gender roles. My newfound interest in wicker furniture is a strong indicator that it won’t be long before I am browsing ceramic cat figurines at the local flea market.

A recommended Rx to reverse damage and encourage a more youthful and chipper propensity would be greatly appreciated by those who have to look at my face on the reg. Thanks in advance.

some where my love.
the heaven bliss with.
this angel in my arms.
some where my love.
some one sing are song .
in the moon lite night.
some where my love.
this  is true love.
as we dance this dance
in the moon lite night.
some where  my love
there is peace an hope.
in the night skies tonight.
i sing this song too my love.
some where my love
the angel sing for you
in the moon lite night.
some where my love
the heaven bliss me with
angel in my arms .
some where my love.
some one sing are song.
in the moon lite night.
some where my love
this is true love.
3x repeat verse