Jennifer Powell

Jennifer Powell Apr 2020

Oasis

I’ve never sat so close to a flame
and felt less heat than its shadow implies
I’ve never felt such fullness in emptiness
I didn’t need a new scar to help me realize

You are a mirage
an oasis bleeding crystal clear water
sparkling in the distance of my desert
but I see you disappear

Cut too close and I watch you vanish
Pacing back and forth to try to find the line
Where do you go?
All I know is that you do.

#love #lover #hopeful #uncertain #addiction

Jennifer Powell Dec 2019

Red

you may have cut me deep

but I danced in each pool

of my own blood

and with each drop

I fell in love

#love #hope #self #worth #pain #reflection #growth

Jennifer Powell Dec 2019

You’re a Ghost, I’m a Ghost

you made me feel like nothing

and I know that to your ears
you may hear a sweeter sound
reminding you of your power

I guess in the end,
I just wish you saw past yourself
and the uselessness of "power"

and I know that to your ears
you may hear my selfishness
but let's not twist what we both know

I guess in the end,
I just wish you cared to see me

and I know that you may choose to hear
a softer song where the record isn't scratched
and although the past is just that

I still see you,
and I see you still seeing me

I guess in the end,
I sit in my hope
and pretend that's enough

but you make me feel like nothing

#apathy #abandonment #goodbye

Jennifer Powell Nov 2019

Listen to It

a bitter blade's first cut
will never be its last
a self-fulfilling prophecy
an echo of the past

its song still makes me sing
a whisper hardly missed
remembering the harmonies
retaining my clenched fists

there are too many broken strings
to play another song
still the music swells inside my walls
it's not a question to play along

I'd be more afraid if the music stopped
what if I forget all the words?
memories deafened through roaring silence
unsure of melodies I'd misheard

I still hear its hum inside my head
as hard as I try to forget
a question of whether it's now or forever
undoubted, hard-earned regret

Jennifer Powell Nov 2019

Ocean of Alone

I can't keep fighting
your perception of me
It's not that it matters
just that it stings

I've carried as much
as my mind will allow
but I keep finding ways
to keep breaking down

Sinking sand

in my heavy heart

I don't need you

weighing me down

#drowning #alone #loneliness #sadness #solitude #judgment #depression #misjudge #love #friend

Jennifer Powell Oct 2019

All at Once

It's funny that life likes to fall apart

all at once

like it's tired of itself just as much

like it's exhaling for the first time

a deep breath held in

sweeping you away in the howl of its wind

It's funny that when we fall apart

we try so hard to hang onto the seams

we tend to tear a deeper ****

still feigning shock when we bleed

It's funny how life likes to fall apart

all at once

like it's its way of having fun

like for every "why me?"

it has to kick you in the *** a little harder

noting that time only asked to exist as much as you did

Jennifer Powell Jul 2019

Untitled

I am too tired
to try and take my pain
and wrap it in pretty words
to make it sound like
it deserves to be romantic
and mysterious or
like it's a part of me
more than I want it to be

I just want it to stop.