asleep - the smiths
i'm in love with u, sorry - j'san
tonight you belong to me - nicole sidney
the bad list - z berg, ryan ross
i fall for the same face every time - z berg
we almost nailed it - z berg
bubble gum - clairo
she - dodie
girl - the beatles
here, there and everywhere - the beatles
something - the beatles
the long and winding road - the beatles
watch you sleep. - girl in red
i wanna be your girlfriend - girl in red
4am - girl in red
build me up buttercup - lara anderson
broken (acoustic) - lovelytheband
crush culture - conan gray
strawberry kisses - olivia herdt
slow dance - adventure time, olivia olson
the record player song - daisy the great
breathe me - sia
love like you - steven universe, rebecca sugar
love like you (reprise) - steven universe, rebecca sugar
asleep - the smiths

i put my pen to paper
and try to conjure beauty
but there's nothing beautiful
about yellow teeth
nothing beautiful
about your stomach groaning
in large groups
about falling asleep starving
about eating tissue paper
to stop feeling hungry
nothing beautiful
about looking at an apple and seeing
60 or half an hour of push ups
and not a ******* apple
nothing beautiful
about bleeding knuckles
and pounding heads
about ***** in whatever
hair is left because
it's all on your bathroom floor
about light fur growing on your arms and legs
grown by your body to keep you warm
nothing beautiful
about feeling dizzy, always
about fainting on the treadmill
and getting a rugburn on your face
from the pressure
nothing beautiful
about tubes in your nose
feeding you sugar water
about sharp ankles on cold scales
about needles in arms
about shaking uncontrollably
nothing beautiful
about cold.

and there's nothing beautiful about death.

"i'm sorry. i don't feel
the same way."
i just smile and
nod my head
"i know."

i was not made
for you, darling
nor you for me

we are nothing more
or less
than trains on a highway,
speeding in
different directions,
brushing each other
just for
a moment

you left your handprint
on my heart
and i will cherish it
as i make room for new lovers

i will never stop
wanting to hold you
but little by little,
it will start to
hurt less.

i am suspended
in a space
between what was
and what could be