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 Apr 2017 butterfly
unnamed
When my winds cease to blow
And the glow of daylight
To no longer show
Will past digressions be visited upon?
Or be decided the forgiveness
That my heart has longed?
When I am laid to my final rest
Will hurts abscond from my weary breast?
Or will heartbreaks follow me
And linger for, all eternity?
When you say that you miss her,
do you miss her intelligence, her humour?
What about her laughter, the sparkle
in her eye when you reach out to tickle
her during your date to the movies
and how she complains when you add anchovies
to your pizza? Do you miss that
or do you just miss bringing her to bed,
a willing body that reciprocate
to your constant inner needs?
Her whole being is a temple
for you to worship but you trampled
on her garden, leaving crushed
seeds of hope and scatters of unbloomed
dreams of being loved and adorned.
Guess you never felt guilty for leaving her torn.

-m.b
 Apr 2017 butterfly
Ryan Holden
Tell me picturesque,
Why do you look beautiful whilst you sleep?
Is it that my heart has fallen,
Deeper than the ocean,
Or is it that I'm scared,
That you'll soon wake up.
Scared to love is my interpretation.
Tear stains are etched along my face,
I cried the day that I packed my s* and I walked away.
Tear stains are etched along my face when I think about you and think about all of the hell you put me through,
and how I called it love when you always pushed me away...
but when it's good it's great right?
that's what I thought anyways but the whole time you were just playing games. The whole **** time you were just playing games...but I remember how you didn't want to hurt me...and you hurt me everytime you called this a thing and then you denied it to your friends and family.
You hurt me everytime we had serious conversations about a future we would NEVER have because you had no intentions of ever having me in your future.
You hurt me every single f*
ing time.
Tear stains are still etched along my face when I think about the fact I made that decision for you.
You had no right to that decision at all especially given the fact that you had no intentions of being around in my life in the future,
Why the hell did I let you make such a big decision for my future,
When it's my life that I changed FOREVER by saying yes, I'll get it done.
I gave up my right to decide because I thought you loved me and I thought that was right.
I thought I'd be alone in this and I was right but not in the sense that I initially believed; I'm alone in feeling so broken up inside every day and every night...will I ever be alright?--- wait this isn't about me this is about you.
Tears are still etched gracefully along my cheeks as I say thank you.
Thank you for teaching me what love isn't,
for helping me to understand what it can be.
Thank you for caring about me...you did care otherwise you wouldn't have been there after we did what we did.
You cuddled me and coddled me for many nights so thank you for caring.
Thank you for letting me go,
thank you for not putting up a fight for the us that would never be; that we would never see.
Thank you for not holding me back in life by making me think that maybe this could turn out right.
Thank you for letting me be me without You and you without me.
We weren't good for each other now I see, So thank you.
Tears are etched along my face... but ****...I look happy today.
Cramped, lost, and crying in my own worn out body,
with loss of hope to become somebody.

Short is this vivid pain,
too long is this bright ornament,
until I finally see the point of it.

No longer numb yet still caught in a gasp,
until I finally connect the dots and filled in the gaps.
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