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~
First God
Then Everest
To the ends of elation

Her eyes in sunflare
An imprint from her light
Heavy and pulling me
The ever after of the hereafter

In that moment I was hesitant

~
Standing at the portal
Of the massive stone engender
Clenching as the sweat
Runs down the sinews of my arm,
Glaring at the enemy's
Rendition of surrender
And knowing, well within,
Why he means to do me harm.

Watching so acutely
For the sliding of his eyeball
Inching to the left
In a slithering advance,
Waiting for the quiver
Of deception's feint, so ribald,
Then lunging with the blade
At his severanced last dance.

M@Foxglove.Taranaki.NZ
~for Jonathan Larson (2)~
~~~~
where poets dare to tread
knowing the jeopardy to
themselves when their truths
are outed by the light shedding
come the morning’s birthing,
my ending unwritten,
the methodology unknown
(1)
<•>
the tabulations final sum
identified by a =  
couplet doublet line
underlining, undermining,
tho the sign indeterminate,
pos or neg,
worse yet maybe,
zero sun-shiny outed,
well,
rue-sighing
must be one of but just
them three tri-bipolar optionalities

the script unwrit
the possibilities vast,
alone nursing home,
an empty dull
barely furnished,
studio apartment
an unnoticed blah, blah blah;
that’s ok

there will be no vast array,
conclave of family & friends,
his stateless status
formed by a choice reenforced by time,
a man chose a solitary tilt,
till it
was a deathly rigid reality factual,
free willed
~~
the irony sweetbitter,:
he who loved love
sometimes writing wrinkles
of only love poetry
but was
stumped
by its consequences continual
&
stumbled
in and out, deep or not at all ,
but only periodic,
alternating decades from
age ninteen

his leavings will be
minimal,
his trail,
dusted under,
and his sense of wonderment
at the atomic elemental
extant and yet undiscovered,
is where will live his
only wisps of his whispers,
heard  ‘pon the backs
of rushing to nowhere
guest gusts of
canyon winds
of his york;
city of naissance

do not protest
nor deviate with debate,
the future unpredictable
and yet curved hewn from,
made from straight block stone
of absolute clarity
of speckled Barre gray granite
~~
mistake this not
for bewailing,
catlike caterwauling,
ever even the bitters,
of short-lived
the in~between now
and resting place finale
indeterminate,
~~
but follow a path of words,
an Appalachian Trial
roving  through forest & civilization,
multiple states,
safe and dangerous
worldly, wormwood wordfuls
all jumble uttered simultaneous

<>
so we dare to ask out loud,
will I die in dignity,
the answer a stale prequel
question obvious answered
in his heritage-styled genes,
with another wink
of a question;

what is dignity?
~~
alone, surrounded by
no one,
matters not,
headstone irrelevant
for this good morning
of cherishing
words and tunes,
adding a line
here and there,
is dignity enough,
and this,
well known to him,
within his collapsing vein's depths,

so the answer
smooth planed and plain:

This,
this is dignity
one more time,
one more winding
spiraling downwards
uplifting
poem


and a
never ending~never the less
&
nevermore
forevermore
satisfactory
answer
(1)
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4994818/nat-your-own-chosen-speed-can-you-guess/

(2)
Lyrics by Jonathan Larson
“Will I/ Life Support

Will I?
Will I lose my dignity? Will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?

Will I lose my dignity? Will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?

Will I lose my dignity? Will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?

Will I lose my dignity? Will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?

Will I lose my dignity? Will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?



Will I lose my dignity? Will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?
Where Shelter Jan 14
Critical thinking for poetry reading
July 30, 2023 5:00am

The Atmosphere and the Environs

Be attuned, uniquely sensitized, to all that is extant,
outside (the weather, the landscape, the sky), eyeing the slow steady changes occurring for you do not live in a vacuum, and these modifications of your immediate surroundings will, must
impact the writing.

I awake to  thick fog, and only the outlines of the trees, though grayed and invisible only within a short distance, are undeniably present, like giant figures, shrouded and menacing, but immobilized.  This fog, is it emblematic of my state of mind or just a modifier, a tangential influencer of what I will now be writing.

To be foggy when first you stir to a day ahead full of knowns and unknown, is not unusual even if the shy sky hints at a
bluer clarity to,come. For the morning fog is the story of transitioning, as humans do repeatedly throughout their days and lifetimes. In particular when passing from the fog of nighttime sleep,oft populated by terrors and all,we suppress, morphs into the no man’s land of dusky consciousness.

As I write the fog outside is clearer as the morning light from
above changes, and though yet present, forms remain i distinct, modestly identifiable, but overall, the world is u known and possibly full of dangers. The dangers I sense are in my own
foggy interior, a 1/ reciprocal of the outside, matching and moving lockstep with the outside haze. Thus, I do not know what will be the next words I write, though the words will,emerge of their own accord, or rather from my knowledge base, but not asking permissions, they come of willfully, voluble though unspoken, from the silence within me that is
confluences by the silence and the slow sea changes in my exterior world.

Even now, some few moments later, the distance is hinted at,
what could be a body of water, a mass of land, is shadowy
haloed, there, but not there, ghostly but discernible.

Am I a ghost or discernible? I could bite my flesh and presumably feel and view the test results confirming but confounding,my apparatus is functioning, but instead I settle
for the assumption that placement of theses new arrangements of old words is proffered proof enough,
that therefore I am.

But in doing so I have crosse the line into

My Interior Domains

Various lands, territories, states, states of being, consciousness, conscience, moral frameworks, goals,
needs,some conflicting are being slow stirred in the cauldron
of my ****** soup. Here in lies what we think are the sources
of our expression, slow stirring repeatedly, an admixture I add
and remove from, maintaining a semblance of weighted balance, but no guarantee at all,of being balanced, even remotely in balance, or just ***** and the weights of what is in
side of mean, is always tilting, and one mental gyroscope is working overtime and all the time to keep me satisfied that I will not perish in the next few seconds, though I might!

Ah, those pesky know unknowns, that cause us to expel
our particular soupçons of rambling, transgressing notions
(I don’t think of them as thoughts, just passerby’s, who
of course,can be on or off course, mine, or yours imbibed by
mine eyes, or my decaying hearing, or any of my subpar
sensing sensors,  that are the inviolable flowing blood  of my body/ mind time continuum.

(An aside: the exterior world goes brighter as the sun rises, but in no,way is there clarity; for all is as before, clouded over on earth as it is in the heavens, just a shade, a tad of degrees brighter, so still and always, still transitory, as if that process could ever be halted and frozen into place. Proofs: no animal
movement is visible, no soundings risible,  no activity though we are close,nearby the official morning hour of 6:00AM.

Dear-me! How could I have failed to discuss notation of the measurements of time, markers that are essential to writing down our history.  “For it was at this time” an existential and essential tool, one half of the denoted time and place intersectionality of our white lies and soulful black holes,
some of the most critical  factors in properly aligning ourselves
in the universe relative to where you are thus fixing the distance between us that is the challenge of why we write,
i.e. to bring us ever closer.

(An aside: the moisture of the atmosphere coats the window,
but in strange QR type patterns, but my camera is unable
to successfully open and opening their secret doors.
I fact I AM suddenly sleepy  and will return to this missive
Tat a latrt
time and place as of yet unknown?

so, later.)
  Nov 2024 Where Shelter
onlylovepoetry
this accidental status, we are all very busy
to be on the lookout for, the odds are not
terrible compared to the lottery, a modest
1 in 300 million, but it’s an easy buy and bust, just a two dollar bill, two lousy singles,
for a legal purchased fantasy that’s
cheaper than a cup of coffee

but finding love is miserable murderous
murmuring mess, can be very expensive, and
exhausting too, physically and mentally,you’re swimming in shallow waters tween razor rocky coral, begging for a slice of your double sized portion of anguish

And yet,
can’t be that hard,
it is a mega billion busyness,
with no cure or satisfactory vaccine,
and the randomness can drive you
mad, make panting to-pack it in,
until your spidey sensnses tingling,
a ketchup and bitter herbs mixture,
and you’re sweating, and it’s 100% anticipation of the well known (!)
unknown risks, this easy
walkway~path in the woods,
leads you on, with marvelous views,
even babbling brooks, till you find
you’ve climbed halfway way up a mountain and to make it to the top,
it’s a rocky boulder strewn,
ankle and heart twisting road that
takes you to the grandest place and plan

oh but, boy,
where the view of the worldscape is only
fantastico, but the only way back down involves throwing yourself into a
quarry pit, full of dangerous chemicals,
that burn scars into your inside parts, invisible wounds so untreatedbly unspeakably bad and incurable
again and again,

and you say stupid things like
I can’t help myself,
what’s a matter daddy,
just want some sugar in my bowl,
and when your neck gets broke,
and it’ll take incredible processing
to just get you to walk again,
and yet
the single
odiferous scent, that amuse bouche on
your lips, and you’ll do it all again for
once monte carlo throw of the dice,
because the odds ain’t that bad,
everbody lives somebody
and given the billions of opportunities walking in just this planet,
even one in a million sounds
pretty good,
even,


very…fair
Where Shelter Nov 2024
Fall Leaves Fall
by Emily Brontë
<>
Fall, leaves, fall; die, flowers, away;
Lengthen night and shorten day;
Every leaf speaks bliss to me,
Fluttering from the autumn tree.
I shall smile when wreaths of snow
Blossom where the rose should grow;
I shall sing when night’s decay
Ushers in a drearier day.


<>
the summer visage long faded from caramel,
to a bastardized version of ugly dirt brown,
the streets empty of traffic and the silence
is a sadder shade of lesser peace, the vibrancy
given way to sharper clearer long division disagreement

my worrisome peaks when the trees
denuded, less shelter than ever.
no cover offered, we stand divided,
visible lines of demarcation,
unable to hide, from each other,
unable to hide, from our selves,
the briefer day transits quicker
into night’s decay, and the words
we utter and state,, hollow sounded,
have no echo ability, no resounding,
and we all grow silenced, partly in
shame, partly because partisan words
bring no gain, or the satisfaction of a
response that makes us say ah ha! you see!

the leaves crumble breneath tired treads
and forested footsteps long ago forgotten,
beige dust that the wind swirls, delighted
by its new power to spread its grounded
memories of human interference into
a coverlet of dust

this fallen solitude hurts me, for it is in
opposition to the joy gay screams of children
in to water running, the oohs and ahs, of freedom’s fireworks  gloried colors proclaiming we are “one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all”
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