this is a girl
with a steel spine
whose been hurt too many times
this is a girl
whose let too many people treat her wrong
and who wont stand for it any longer.
this is a girl who will not put her happiness in other peoples hands, no one is allowed to make her unhappy.
this is a girl.. who can cut someone off
and acted like they never even existed
and i am the girl who has.

i was broken
once.

i don't even know what
i was before
maybe a vase or a
common water glass
a ceramic mug or a glowing
stained glass window.

i don't know how
it happened maybe i
got dropped or cracked through
contact or the temperature
changed too quickly for
my fragile self to handle.

and i don't know who or
what cracked me like my
twelve year old cd cases
or if it was a slow stress
fracture brought on
by myself.

but the signs are
there
that i was broken
once.

yes, i was
broken
once
and i am still
shattered
in my darkest places.

but i make a
**** good mosaic.

I'm pondering the gun
Waiting in the other room.
Is there really a difference
Between destiny and doom?

I'm a hopeless, useless cadaver.
I'm a perpetual case of blues.
If living life is winning,
Then I think I want to lose.

I wouldn't miss each wasted second,
My birthdays every year.
I don't know what my destination is,
But it must be better than here.

I've been laying on this bed for far too long
Trying to evade my thoughts with sleep.
It's time to take it into my own hands;
I'm tired of being herded like sheep.

I'm sorry to whoever has to find me,
And to he who has to dig my ditch.
But if it does something to soften the wound,
This was my only wish.

And I wonder if they'll be ashamed of me,
When in death I do abide.
Whether they'll say my death was an accident,
Or a beautiful tragic suicide.

Shall I cover you with gold
and bow down to worship you?
When all you are is temporal?
Shall I prostrate myself before you
and beg you not to leave me?
Although you have betrayed
and devalued me?
Shall I cover you with gold
and bow down to worship you?
No!
For you are an idol to me no longer!
I run to the One who is Faithful and True.
Who loves me far, far more than you.
At last, Lord Jesus,
You have won my heart.
And from Your arms I will never depart.
You alone are the Lover of my Soul.
And when You have tried me.
I shall come forth as gold.  (Job 23:10)

She looks at herself in the mirror
A tear drops from her face
She fixes her silver earring
As her heart begins to race
She lies down on her bed
In her diamond studded dress
She looks up at her ceiling
So many thoughts race through her head
As the bottle falls out of her hand
And her eyes begin to shut
She thinks about all the times
They laughed as she would cut
As her heart begins to stop
And she lets out her last breathe
She whispers to herself
Will they still be laughing after my death?

Temptation,
All around.
When focus,
Is all I need.

Worry,
Seeks guidance,
From me.

Dreams,
I see,
Drifting further away.

My life,
Passing by,
In front of me.

Seize,
I remember,
Although not many.

The mental imprint,
Of the greatest
And the worst.

I see,
My greatest tragedies,
In absolute truth.

I see,
My greatest triumphs,
In ultimate simplicity.

My life,
Naked.
Dissected.

Destiny is made,
When you master,
Not the exterior.

Death
Purpose
Freedom

Persistence
Time
Priority

Soul­

Believe,
Believe In yourself.
Nurture the garden,
That is your mind.

Bad or good
     Useful or harmful
         Beautiful or not
           Venomous or lovely
             Real gentlemen
                 don't hide their feelings