Sometimes I think you are a fairy.
Everytime you appear everything gets better.
It's always unexpected.
Not that I don't expect you to show your pretty face.
It's how you appear.
Seeing you whole.
Though curious to where you hide your wings.
No matter how many times I mix my words up
You know just what I am saying.
Reaching into your bag, sprinkling your dust as you please.
My mouth covered a thousand times over, your essence.


Your words fly right out of your mouth.
And like that I am in awe.
One feeling at a time.
It's funny, how beautiful you are.
The way you sprinkle your pixie dust.
You know just how to pick me up.
The twitch of your nose.
The dimple that forms in your cheek.
The world a distant place.
This moment spent ensuring our distance.
The rest of me in your bag.
I acknowledge how special you are.
I'd never place you in a jar or any form of glass.
I'd never misuse any part of you.
My heart being the concrete that cushions the way you walk.
Your lips the fascination of the sun.
The bigger problem is how you always seem to find me when I am at my lowest.
And how I can never catch you off guard.
Never.
Your whisper in my ear.


Sinking into your presence

Let's pretend we are not in love

And go on walking

So I can fall for you

All over again

At age 7, I was guilty
when I accepted an invitation
to go into the apartment of a neighbor
He smelled of beer as he groped me.

At age 10, I was guilty
when I walked home too late
because I missed the train
He popped out of the bushes
exposing himself.

At age 12, I was guilty
when my uncle forced
tongue into my mouth
because I could not
get away.

At age 14, I was guilty
when my uncle forced
me to sit on his lap
while in my bathing suit
and I ran away from home.

At age 16, I was guilty
when my uncle convinced
everyone that I was a liar
and I quit school.

At age 18, I was guilty
when I gave birth to
my first child,
because I was ignorant.

At age 20, I was guilty
when I saw the cardiologist
in the reflection of a lamp
*******  and the
police laughed at my report.

At age 30, I was guilty
when my employer
trapped me in the elevator
to ***** me, because I
was his subserviant.

At age 36, I was guilty
when I earned jujitsu honors
but risked going to jail
for defending myself.

At age 70, I was guilty
when a neighbor brought
me fruit and grabbed my
breast, because I was alone.

At age 72, I am guilty
of being a ferule woman
for 50 years and for
NOT be silent!

I asked myself
what is your biggest fear?
I heard myself reply
my biggest fear is
to be deeply known
but not loved deeply

A toddler who came to play..
Grew up the very next day...
A child with a big smile...
Could keep promises for awhile...
A teen with a dream...
Lit up the stars with one big beam..
A young adult with a big heart..
That was always at fault..
A parent to be...
Who's scared of thee...
Child hidden inside me...
A grandparent to be....
Has a world full of glee...
All because of a toddler who came to be...