CRUSH

Crush,
The term wouldn’t exist if it doesn’t hurt does it?
When does it start? This feeling,
It grows bigger and larger,
And suddenly I realise,
My heart is on the verge of exploding,
Bursting with emotions that I can’t help but feeling so.

The only thing that I have want to convey and send to you is
‘I like you’, ‘I like you a lot’,
My heart, it hurts,
Evan seeing you from afar, my heartbeat goes crazy,
It's hard to breath,
How do I stop this feeling?
I am tired, I am sad, I am happy, I am anxious,
Because the only thing I have been thinking of is you,
You! You! and only you,

But crush, oh crush,
In the end you’re just a crush,
Those words,
They were never conveyed,
And I silently keep this feeling to myself,
With the faint hope that you’ll return this feeling,
In this feeble heart of mine,
And again, it hurts.

-nuraishahazman-

the razors were her best friends
the only source of control of the pain she endured.
her hair was falling out
her skin , pale as the snowy grounds of December.
no one ever cared
until they day she wore short sleeves and everyone got scared

we lay there,
you with your back turned
to me.
i used
my fingertips
to trace
the words
my mouth
never has the
courage to say.
and you just fell asleep.
and i'm starting
to think that's a metaphor
for what you'd do
if i let you
hear what my heart
has been *screaming

inspired by out-dated dreams
lost over half-polished fancy things
collected
owned
sitting now in someone else's home

in a vault
somewhere in some cave
it was too dark
you lost your way

now broken somehow
dying, a plastic man waits
mounting bills to pay
people to ignore
people who simply don't go away
lie in bed and wonder

where do you move when where you're moving from is yourself

Beneath the mango tree
death turns slowly -
creaks the branches/
untouchable - the tears
hanging low above the ground -
slowly swinging - no more singing/
beneath the mango tree.

r ~ 5/30/14

Lately, whenever I'm about to fall asleep,
an inexplicable
and outrageous surge
of unfathomable dread
creeps into my being
and ruptures my peace.

It sends shivers down my spine
and makes my skin crawl.

This dread invades my soul at the same time each night,
mere seconds before I begin my calm respite
by retreating into my dreams.

I fear the moment this dread comes alive,
but not because of the possibility
of never waking up again.

Rather, I fear it
because of the possibility
of waking up
in a world without you.