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NO ONE UNDERSTANDS HOW HARD I TRY
TO STOP
THEY ASK ME TO PROMISE
BUT I CAN’T.
DON’T DO IT TO HURT ANYONE OTHER THAN MYSELF,
I DON’T DO IT WHERE YOU CAN SEE.
YOU LOOK AT ME AND THINK THAT I’M THE HAPPY LITTLE GIRL THAT HAS EVERYTHING THAT SHE WANTS,
BUT INSIDE I’M DYING SLOWLY
SCREAMING
BUT NO ONE HEARS.
THEY CAN’T SEE HOW HURT I AM INSIDE
NOT EVEN THE PEOPLE THAT ARE CLOSEST TO ME.
I’M THE BEST FRIEND
THE PERFECT GIRLFRIEND AND DAUGHTER,
NOT THE KID THAT NEEDS HELP. and i feel like i'm slowly fading away.
I wish I was more like you.
When you break, you push everyone away
and make yourself feel better.
You're strong.
I need constant comfort.
I need you to hold me and kiss me.
Spoil me.
I'm weak.
So easy to break, so fragile.
I'll give you some of my heat if you give me
your frost.
We're like yin and yang.
So alike yet so different.
We're perfect for each other, right?
I believe so.
Through tears she screams her story
In love we find her hate
With shivers, she finds her warmth
She's skinny, but only sees weight

She's a fire that craves water
A sunbeam wanting rain
She doesn't like to be hurt
But enjoys all the pain

When quiet, she is her loudest
Alive, but feels so dead
In a crowd, she gets so lonely
Thinking words unsaid

Someone wake her up
She's been asleep too long
When will people notice
That there's clearly something wrong?

Her heart beats more slowly
As they still fail to see
That the more alive she is
The deader she wants to be

She lies her head down tonight
Closing her eyes so sore
Stop the restless nights
And sleep forever more
Attempting to find the difference between my nightmares and reality, only to discover that reality is the nightmare.
The blade floated across my skin.
Before I realized what I had done.
The blood trickles out.
And I feel alive.

The blade moves swiftly
Again and again.
Until my skin is sore and red.
The pain is real.

I set the blade down.
What have I done?
I stare at the injury
Until only the scars remain.
Poetry has become my self harm,
I only write at my lows...
Instead of blood I see words,
Instead of a blade I have a keyboard...

I want to write about...
The wind dancing with the sea...
Or...
The way you smile and it lights up your innocent face...

I don't want poetry to be my self harm,
Because poetry is beautiful...
An art...
Not.
Just.
Blood.
And.
Scars.
Judge away... I'm trying to not care... No matter how much I do ...
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