Baby, there's things i'd love to tell you, but im scared. Scared you'll hate me. Scared you'll never want to start over. Scared that i'll lose you. I miss your stupid smile, your pointless facts, i love! The way you make me smile, just by looking at me. You can give me butterflies the easiest of ways. You make me want to flood the oceans, with my tears, and you make me feel so happy. If i could change back the clock i would. I would try and be better. I told you from the beginning that i was a challenge, and im guessin you didnt believe me... Im sorry. Sorry i was so cruel-hearted. Sorry that i didnt think about you in my actions... Sorry i still love you because you've moved on and im still crying oceans for you.

Wondering how
you can fall in love,
with a stranger.

Head over heels,
butterflies,
and love
at first sight.

The problem
with falling in love
with a stranger,

they don't feel the same.
To them you
are just
a stranger,
a random person
they met one day
in december.

Falling into
one sided love,
with a stanger.

**** the pain
Block it out
Fill my veins
Hide my doubt

Suffocate me
Throw me away
Cut me to bits
Watch as I fray

Hold this against me
Point it at my head
Pull the ******* trigger
I'll only be dead

Now as I die
Watch me be free
This is what you wanted
Why can't you see!

Kind,
Shy, funny man,
Did the best that he can,
To raise me to be what I am,
Beautiful baby girl,
Smiling every second,
What everyone wants in the world
Years pass,
Daddy always there,
Doing the best he can,
Raising me to be the way I am
Beautiful baby girl,
A baby no more,
Middle school,
Troubled;
Diminished smile,
Daddy where are you?
No reply
Daddy's soul has left his eyes
No more doing what he can to raise me how I am,
Doing what he can,
To stop the voices in his head
Searching for cameras,
In the walls,
Paranoia controls his all,
Delusions
President,
Police,
Mom,
Everyone out to get him,
Stumbling upon his daughters sketchbook,
Sketch unfinished;
Headless body
Voices,
Convincing to be dismembered,
Out to get him;
Dismember him,
Paranoia growing,
Irritability as well,
Mommy a victim,
Strangled, breathless,
By a body with no soul
Life flashes amongst her eyes,
Children being married,
Awakes,
Escapes,
Daddy's alone,
In a mental home
Not for long,
Returns with medicine to fix the harm
Daddy?
Void of soul replaced
Stability,
Daddy regained,
Medicine disposed,
Voices grow,
They're going to **** me,
The 9th,
Facing doom,
Departure to a highway overpass,
Aimlessly walking,
The edge
Concerned bystandards,
Authorities called,
Shouting,
Scared,
No way out,
A fall,
A crash,
Daddy,
Is dead.

In lies we swim in
And the carelessness we walk on
We shatter something we once created
Something that will never be put together again

While watching everyone around you breathing
You're the only one drowning

There is no going back
You can only move behind
Never forward

Because mirrors tell a lot about us
They show more than what you want

You stare deep in to your crestfallen eyes
Seeing nothing but endless jungle
You gaze over your smile
A fake smile; never more

No one understands you
Cause you don't fit
They hold the remote
That moves you back and forth

Until your batteries ware all out
There is nothing you can do

But staring at the scars
Of everyones' lies
Leaving nothings but stars
Of everything that dies

A pill for the pain,
Two for the lies.
Three for the smiles,
I have to hide behind.
Four for the times,
When you weren't there.
Five for the reason,
I no longer care.
Ten for the scars,
Twenty for the abuse.
Thirty more for my pitiful excuse.
Forty for my friends,
Fifty for my family.
A promise to them,
That I was never really happy.
Sixty for the thoughts,
Of ending my life.
Seventy just out of spite.
Eighty for being lost,
Ninety for you not seeing.
Ninety-eight for you,
And darling?
One hundred for me.

Forcing laughter
Faking smiles
Same old tired
Lonely place