I must remain silent.  
As she sleeps on the floor of my room, surrounded by wet tissues.
I must remain silent.
Until she is ready to bring justice.
I must remain silent.
When my friend is ***** and is looking for refuge.
I must remain silent.
When the worst, most violent, horrendous, and personal crime is committed against someone I love.
I must remain silent.

I must remain silent.
Simply because:

She wants me to be.
And when someone you love has her wants disobeyed in the most gruesome way.
You must remain silent.
You must not tell the story that does not belong to you.

My thoughts are too loud
It is like shouting into empty rooms
And hearing naught but echoes,
Constant and crushing
The heaviness of their hollow sound
Like lead weights that pulse
Until your mind is flooding
And you are drowning.
I am drowning in my thoughts,
These lead weights are anchors
I will sink beneath my silent words
For to speak them means inhaling
Letting their sorrow fill my lungs
They have already taken my mind
They'll not have my breath, too.

Dear you,
I wrote you a letter last night in the middle of an anxiety attack. I didn't know it was addressed to you until about halfway through, but it only makes sense that it all comes back to you. I guess I wanted to write everything that was going on in my head onto paper, to stop thinking about everything and everyone, including you. I keep saying I'm happy for you that things are getting better for you and that you're happier now but I think everyone knows I'm just pretending that I'm not in ruins that you left me for dead. I hope you think about me sometimes, I hope you remember who I used to be.
Love, always,
Me.