Fingers stretch to catch something out of touch
And reach for those things clearly never seen.
Looking for something but never getting much
And still left to wonder what it really could mean.
Wavering, in and out of knowing and unknowing
Simply bidding to short a chain to lead
Chaos is evident in all of this throwing
But there is that ever present need....
And  that liquid relaxation That ever present need,
Weaving in and out of you and them and me
I struggle for foundation and I struggle in temptation
And I haven't even found myself in this wide consuming creation.
Not, just yet, and I plan a head to day but not for my tomorrow.
FOr that ever present need.

I've been choking on the heart I tried to eat.
Its hard to breathe, at least it tastes sweet.
I found my throb buried in your chest.  
I ripped it out and started to build a nest.
A messy wound, i keep it clean.
I'll hold you up, or you can lean.
You stumble cower, you've been spent.
My loves desire sparks like flint.
You've cut me off and tied me tight.
I wont let you bleed out in the night.
Your heart I swallowed.
Ripped it out whole.
It sits in my chest perfectly fits in the bowl.
You ate mine, and now we are even.
Don't count on me ever leaving,

Wavering at the top of the stairs...
She breaks.
Falls down the many steps once climbed
Shatters.
Looks into your eyes and she

COWERS.

Social was never clean and voices are always mean
Others, they feel nothing like she feels.
They know not the extent of what they have damaged
Child lost in the weeds of adult hood.
Woman left ravaged.

He wishes to speak but knows not what to say
He needs,
He wants to reach out but is trapped with in his own
He wants
He expresses desire but knows not how to retain
He needs
He wants to be healthy but keeps feeling insane

Oh how deeply he needs and how no one can give.

It's hard for me to say,
That in all my burning anger
That I still wish you
Could do better.

At the same time
My human heart
Wants you to destroy yourself
As I watch and
Smile.

I stare at you
Your iridiscent sweater
The azure sky reflecting in your eyes
But I also notice
The ice on your lips
And in your heart.

A collision of energy
Your passion and purity
My will and practicality
Fused and refuse to detach

Now, I just hope it lasts

When I wanted catch a movie with my friends,
You ripped my ticket.
When I wanted to wear that shirt my sister gave me,
You threw it away.
When I wanted to talk,
You shut me up and cut me off.

With every little thing I do,
It's always wrong to you.
With every gifts I bought for you,
It's in the garage the next day.
With every planned surprises I made,
It's never surprising to you.

When you wanted those dresses,
I tailored them for you.
When you wanted that ring,
I worked and saved for months.
When you are always down,
I was there to lift you up.
Always.

But what about me?
Is this only a one-sided love?

While I smile everyday,
I'm walking on eggshells too.
Hanging by a thread,
Not knowing what to do.

As days passed,
Months even.
The thought of you dissipates,
More, and more, and more.
I only realized what I should had done from the start,
When I threw the ring into the sea.

All I know is,
I'm living on borrowed time.