that I sit in showers
because water understands.

No questions. No judgment.

It just holds me.

i always attract broken souls.
because broken attracts broken.

missed opportunities for a burned out soul
potential thrown away lackadaisically in the fleeting moment
a school-of-thought to ruin a lifetime of work
leaving you in the cold, wet dirt

you know it's bad when crying is enjoyable
an actual show of emotion comes as bleak relief from the never-ending steppe of non-existence
an true yet brief feeling; enough to rekindle the dampened spirit
but crushed without a thought by the elapse of tissues
the ducts are dry, nothing left but shudders

back to normality and banality
same old, same old, so they say
more powerful than words and transient passion
and i greet and embrace it like a returning master
clinging to it despite my unchained body
"hello master, nice to see you again"

You can beat us to the ground, hurt us.
Ignore our screams.
Pretened that we are fine.
Because kids can't be depressed.
You can tell us how to live and feel.
Tell us our demons are not real.
But we are just other human beings.
Looking for their own indentity.
Going trough darker times.
Just younger but not untouched by pain.
Just because we are younger doesn't mean we can't be hurt.
So yes you can be ignorant.
You can tell us that we lie.
But that won't help us.
Won't change a thing.
We are the depressed teenagers.
And we can't do anything about it.
So please stop reminding us that we should be happy.
That our teens are the best times of our lifes.
Cause if depression is the best we will get,
how much must aldult life **** then?

The deepest ocean,
Waves in motion.
The deepest secrets
The more you keep it,
The deepest cut,
Happens when the door is shut.
The deepest night,
Is when you can't sleep right.
The deepest hour,
Is when I start to cower.
The deepest fear,
Is when I disappear
The deepes mind,
Always finds.
The deepest heart,
Is torn apart

I'm sick of feeling nothing but tired of feeling everything.

Depression
Is when
You want to do something
But lack the motivation
And feel like you
Can do
Nothing.
Depression
Is when
You feel an overwhelming sadness
That does not go
Does not ask
But simply stays
As it slowly puts out
The fire
In your heart.
Depression
Is when
You feel hunger
And yet you do not eat
Because to cook
Is far
Too much effort
And who are you
To take that food?
Depression
Is when
You feel pain
To a massive scale
But none of it
Truly goes away.
You have good days
And bad days
Joyous moments
And horrific ones.
But depression
Is when
Even your good moments
Are tainted
By the knowledge
That you will soon
Slip back
Into the gaping abyss
Of sadness and despair
That is
Your psyche.
There is no cure,
Not a universal one,
At least.
If your depression
Is caused by
Loneliness
Or heartbreak,
Than perhaps
A partner
Could end it.
If your depression
Is caused
By asinine family members,
Then maybe
If they were just nice
Instead of mean
They
Could end it,
But the problem
With depression
Is that
No one knows
That you have it
Unless you tell them.
And if you do,
They will either
Back away
As if from leprosy
Or some contagious disease
Or they will
Know nothing of it
And abandon you
Or they
Will completely
Over re-act,
And send you to
A therapist
Which sometimes
May help
And other times
May make worse
The depression.
But sometimes
If you tell
The right people
They will simply
Be there for you
And help you through
And whether
They know how
Depression works
Or not
It often
Does not matter
So much as the fact
Of knowing
That someone out there
Truly cares
About what happens
To you.
And that
Is the only
Universal
Relief.
And so thank you
For being there
When you
Can.