They have been waiting
since knee high
for romance -
even before they knew
what it was about

waiting to be cared for
and attended to,
danced and romanced
moonlit evenings year long,
little surprise presents
flowers sprinkled with jewelry

it never ends
whispers of love
always so gently

it is all so beautiful
truly a wonderful notion

I just can't bring myself to spoil it.

i had a dream last night
that i killed myself

i drank a poison
i gulped it down
so it would burn and melt away
the gnawing depression in my stomach

i asked my friends
if they knew
a place for me to die
quiet and in solitude

and i found myself
surrounded by wailing voices, terrified faces
and a grief
so sharp and acrid
it rivaled that of the poison in my stomach

Last night I was in pain
I cut my crushes' name onto my stomach
I tried hanging myself
on 2/11/25
and my friend reported me
to the administrators
and I tried the lifeline
they couldn't help

Stab in the side
                    Make me cry
        Stab in the foot
                     Yes, it hurt
     Bruises on my arms
              Don't be alarmed
         Cuts on my wrist
                    Add it to the list
          Burned my chest
               Definitely not the best
                                Lies on the side
                                    Laws to abide
           Tonight I'll die
With a ****** knife at my side

It's fine to like a girl
But I want to like more
A gay trans boy
Forced to look cis and straight
And its nice for a while
But it gets uncomfortable
I want to be with HIM
Not her, but if I stop going out with her
She would **** herself
I can't risk it
So I have to cheat
But is it wrong?

Feeling alone on a Sunday night
This could be the death of me
Seeing the knife cut the cake
This could be the death of me
Trying to escape the knots and holes I made
This could be the death of me
But I still go
Rising above my fears
Like the Himalayan mountains
Growing like the bamboo in my backyard
But still, this could be the death of me.

Silence grows at night
When there are no people around
Nothing in sight
No sound

Bushes stop shaking
Birds cease chirping
Nothing breaking
Not even the wind swirling

Dark as midnight
Light as snow
I wish I could take flight
As my new wings grow

But as silence grows
I'll always feel alone
There's nothing that can show
That I'm not afraid of the unknown

Light as a feather
Deep in shadows lie silence
Falling down near me

I grabbed a string
And tied it around my neck
Made it tighter
And tighter
Until I couldn't breathe
Threw one end over my door
And pulled
I wear a red line on my neck
Almost had blue lips
Almost died
But my mom
Found me
And cut it off
I wish she never did