Maybe I'm a butterfly
Dreaming that I'm human and my
Whole life if just a made-up story
But I guess that's alright by
Me
Because at least that means
Every tragedy I've so-called seen
Heard felt thought
Of was fake, right? For every
Novel requires a good plot,
Even if made of pure fiction.
There's a reason why
People like Regina and Cady,
Rory and Lorelai
Because it's always nice
When the dishes bring some spice.

Because what if I talked too fast
Or too slow
Or maybe too loud
Not loud enough
High pitched
Low pitched
Too much
Too little
Or what if I said the wrong things
Or not enough of the right ones
And that's what scares me
Because we aren't even done
With just talking.

You know
It's weird being in a place
That's somehow still so
Unfamiliar even though
It's taken up so much space
In your head
And I don't know how
Else to say this instead
But now
That you're there
It's really
No longer that daydream
Where it seemed to me
That time would pass
During breaks, while in class
With a smile on my face
But I guess
We all guess wrong sometimes.

Sometimes you
Decide to
Have a really big meal
Then proceed
To not eat
For the next eight
Hours right?
It's not that you can't wait
But the faintest smell
Of food might
As well
Knock you out.
It isn't about
Being physically
Full, correct me
If I'm wrong
But going too long
Without anything
Would bring
About the strongest's doom.
(No, food here
Is not the elephant in the room.)

Do
You
Really
Love me?
It’s probably
A me
Problem
But why
Can’t I
See it? Why
Don’t I
Feel cared for
When I text you anymore?
Maybe you
Used to;
Maybe you did
But what got rid
Of those feelings?
Because every time
I’m
Dealing
With you and your
Issues I pour
My heart and soul into
Helping you
But I’ve just
Never been checked on
Without me breaking first.
Always been looked upon
As support for you to lean
Against but that just means
I’ve always carried your weight;
Forever stuck in a stalemate;
Not yet dead
But nowhere to run instead.
Can you tell
How much I love you
And how much I wish you
Loved me too?

My Starhub Cyber Protect
Has decided that the Starhub site
Isn't safe. I guess this effect
Was unintended (right??)
But then again, it must be
Doing a great job for people like me;
Unable to
Watch YouTube, do
A Buzzfeed
Quiz, satisfy the need
To scroll on Reddit.
Is it
Just me, or is
This
Just all too
Familiar? Surely you
Know what I mean...
"This site has been blocked" flashing on-screen.
It's just the irony here
That makes it bigger than it appears.

Because people get tired of me
Be
ing sad.
Because I only write sad;
Talk sad;
Act sad;
I guess we can cliche
And say my parents are mad
Because of the sad
They have to see every day.
I text sad;
My music is sad;
Days start to blur
Because the days that were
Spent happily
Don't come easily
To me.
I'm tired too.
But what else can I do?
I can't really say
That every day's
A bad
Day
But every day
Has its own sad
Thoughts.
It's true for you
Too,
Is it not?