will I enter the kingdom of heaven
through pearly gates
or a crack
in the garden fence
will I take a stairway
Led Zeppelin like
or an overgrown path
that's hard to trace
will there be anyone waiting
to welcome my earthly trace
or will I have to find
my own imperfect space

or perhaps there is a highway
that leads to a warmer place

I will scratch that itch
and she will devour my anger

in a room dimly lit
we play back half a relationship
like it's something we deserve
or even dare to understand

I'm sorry I'm so much like you
that you want to live through me
my alabaster features
from the same old block chipped
spitting of your image
if images could spit

I'm sorry I'm so much like you
because I wanted to be me
experience days, months, years
not a predestined journey
with footsteps I should follow
treading in your expectations

so that one day when I'm not
the dream you had for me
I become the disappointment
in your family tree

the sky is being stolen
so that so much human soup
can high rise
to live above one another
a hierarchy to whisper
in God's ear

sunlight fills the cracks
illuminated grouting

I see clouds skitter by
I'm a prisoner
jealous of their freedom
wishing I could fly

I have looked upon his face
so many times
on windows that he graced
pictures on pages of the pious kind
relied upon his mercy
when all else failed
while calling his name in vain
after some ill or painful wound
but I have never looked
him in the eye
for fear that true belief
might trespass in my mind

waiting for the miracle

burning candles at both ends
on the alter of time
hanging out with false friends
the blind leading the blind
enraptured by belief
that we all have our chance
dreaming through existence
that some may call a life

waiting for the miracle