I whisper to the darkness
But not even the gods can hear
I keep talking regardless
Because it is still better than the fear.

My sheets are my only protection
From the torture that you lay bare.
My pain was clearly your addiction
But all I ever did was stare
At the bruises, at the scars
At the coldness that is ours.
At the boxes of cigars
That you smoked until you saw stars.

I should have done more but we all know the price
Of going against those who control our lives
You made everything torture, so refined and precise,
And yet ‘get back here’ is still your advice.

I whisper to the darkness all day and all night
Simply because it is the only thing saving me from your deadly plight.

You’re not here to hold us any longer,
But that does not mean you’re not here.
You are, and will always remain,
Deep in our hearts.
And in every breath we take,
we will remember you.
Because you gave us life,
You were our life.
So don't think for one moment,
That we will ever forget
The times and the memories
That you gave to us
To treasure and cherish
Within our souls
For forever and eternity.
You're not here to hold us any longer,
But we will never forget...you.

The feeling that someone watches
Everywhere I go
The feeling that someone listens
To everything I say
The feeling that I'm not alone
Even in the darkness

That Feeling haunts me day and night
And I cannot brush it off
Cannot choose to ignore it.

Because it beats at my mind
My pulse echoing along
Until I am driven crazy

Because it hums a different melody
To the one I am singing
Until I am forced to change song

Because it slithers along my skin
Fighting through the soap I layer on
Until I continue to feel *****

Because it is the very devil
Trailing after me
Chuckling at my misery
Smiling at my fury
Cackling at the guilt
That ever deepens

It's that feeling that drove me to do this
So farewell
And tell my stalker
That it was fun.

I daren't close my eyes
For fear of losing this place
The tranquility it has bestowed upon me

The lakes shift in their eternal sleep
The boats nod to each other in their marching lines

There is darkness all around
But still I can see
The world resting around me

Fog hovers in the quiet air
Weary of the silence in this place

There are buildings but no on is home
For this is home for no one
This is where the dreamers wander

I see no moon watching from the sky
I see no stars humming their sweet airs

But I do no fear
For I feel not a thing
Beside the stillness this place can bring

Mists and clouds and rains and shadows
And yet nothing touches my skin

My soul is a separate from my body
But I am still here
Observing and waiting

For what is unbeknownst to me
But no sense of troubledness comes

I drift with the current that is not there
Alone in the boat of dreams
And then it is gone and only shadows are seen

I daren't close my eyes
Or let this world slip away
For it is my home above the clouds
Where only peace remains
But in the morning this world will be gone
And I will be left alone
With only people there.

I built these walls up,
Brick by brick,
When I was just a child.
They kept me safe,
They kept me sane,
They kept me from you.

I built these walls up,
Brick by brick,
Cementing them with the hate,
The pain,
The disgust
That you inflicted upon me.

I built these walls up,
Brick by brick,
Hoping they could shield my heart,
Hoping they could protect me from the world,
Hoping they could stop you.

I built these walls up,
Brick by brick,
A layer for each hour of loathing,
Each hour of self-hatred,
Each hour of torture,
That I barely endured.

I built these walls up,
Brick by brick,
To save me from the world.
To save the world from me.

But then you came,
On that motorcycle.
Speeding down my road
With coldness in your heart.

But then you came,
And tore these walls apart.
And I couldn't bear it;
You ripped them asunder with your bare fingers
Without even laying a hand on me.

But then you came,
And I saw your face,
And these walls
I had built up,
Brick by brick,
All those years ago,
Those walls came shattering down.

This noise around me
It's more than I can bear
It's too loud
It's too busy
All I want is to be alone

This noise around me
Is all I ever hear
The chattering of a bird
The screaming of a child
They fill up my brain

This noise around me
Is suffocating. All I know
Is that I can't breathe,
I can't swallow,
I can no longer hear myself

This noise around me
It takes up too much space
There is no room for me to move
No room for me to live
It takes up every empty pocket in me

This noise around me
Is inside me. Loud and incessant
The sounds are my own
The voices are my own
But I simply can't rid of them

This noise inside me
It's more than I can bare
It's too loud
It's too busy
All I want is to be alone.

Truly alone
With the darkness
And silence.
Alone with no noise.
All I want is to be at peace.

The darkness wrapped me
In its warm embrace
As I took that step forward, mind starting to race,
Over that bridge that kept at bay the tide
And into..the dark side.

The house looked near,
And I swallowed the words,
That to you, to the world,
I longed desperately to let not be shy,
As my pained and final goodbye.

You waited in the garden
Stood fixed in place,
Hovering shadows leaping upon your face.
You smiled so finely over at me
But I looked away for fear of crying so spectacularly.

Tears limned your eyes and
That was pain that I saw
Thinning your lips and
Scrunching your jaw
And you looked oh so different from before.

You seemed so foreign to me on that
Night. Your hair unkempt
And your face so tight,
It hurt me to the core and I felt oh so mad
To see you so...sad.

So I knew I could not
Rid you of my life
For I needed you so much it
Would surely be a jagged knife
To my swollen heart of you were not here.

So I didn't big you farewell in that garden
As I had intended to.
Instead I held you tight,
Only our breaths barring our two
Lives and not miles and miles of endless night.

Voice but a whisper, emotions with no lid,
I said gripping your hand, 'I simply cannot bid
Farewell to you.' Your relieved grin fuelled my heart
And it must have upset the heavens above
To see us together..feeling nothing but undying love.