Some memories
                  never  leave  
       your  bones.  Like  salt  in
           the seas they  become  
                 part  of  you.
           The smell of her hair,
              the taste of her
            mouth, the feeling
                 of her skin  
         seemed  to get  inside
              of me, or into
            the air around me.
                    She had
      become  a physical necessity
          and  we  were  in  bed
     together  laughing  and   we  
                didn't  care
            about   anything.
         The  strongest  drug
   that  exists  for  a   human  is
         another human being
                   and the
                little things?
         The little moments?
                They aren't
                      little.
                                  ­                                                        Jon York   2019

i fell in love with the words you said,
so i strung them up above my bed.
but the shadows played tricks upon my eyes,
and your beautiful words turned into lies.

If I just keep writing,
then maybe my poetry
will spill out and
bring you back.

I didn't want you,
I wanted love
and I have realised
that they are not the same thing.

You were a mould
that I poured my insecurities in,
a computer I tried to program.

But you are a sky,
stormy and clear and rainy and warm.

You were so blue when I longed for red.

I didn't want you.
I wanted the thought.

my left heel itches
i wish you never texted me what you did
that one afternoon freshman year
when i was in the library
i looked at my tiny phone with clammy hands
my clear nails glistening
and i could almost taste the warm light streaming in from the window above the nonfiction shelf
feeding my face
i didn’t eat at all that day

i loved you
but i didn’t want you to say it..

whyd you say it

lovely words, once
gentle kisses upon my cheek,

now don't feel the same,
since hearing them from him

those words you speak to me,
scratch,
they dare to break my skin

your words,
I wish,
loved me like their intent

my chest is cracking open
tears are falling in ways they haven’t for years
the silent scream keeps getting strangled in my throat
i think I knew it was over when I had to apologize for missing you