I don't want to die now,
to all the angels and demons, I will bow;
It's not time for me to leave this earth,
It is really not the moment to think of re-birth;
It is hard to explain to these.. heartless,
YOU not being with me hurts less...
what really maims me is ...you not missing me..
what really gashes me is.. you moving on..
but I will wait for that moment...for you to smile back at me..
will hold on to my last breath till then...will not disappear undersea.

I have come a long way from the past
Walking with you, for you, steering life like a mast;

The road was jerky, the travel was bumpy
But I stood stalwart beside you, tolerating all your grumpy;

You challenged my beliefs
you questioned my practices
But I choose to ignore your critique
As I loved you once..to speak;  

But as time passed by and as we aged,
life's hurdles increased
The support that I needed from you dwindled;

Mornings turned in to evenings and days into nights
enduringly waiting to be in your limelight;

My feeling of loneliness only grew with me
My depression and sorrow only aged with me

But without questioning my destiny
I dragged my feet all along, that were bonded by our matrimony;
Without blaming you, my acquainted
I worked hard to keep the life with you untainted

But everything changed with the warmth of the sun that the new hope brought along
Everything changed with the beautiful rainbow that the untimely shower has brought along;

First time in a decade I smiled my cheeks out
First time in a decade my skin glowed a hundred fireflies;
First time in a decade I was wishful for the future
First time in a decade I could see the end of the tunnel brighter;

I questioned myself on the new hope a thousand times
And debated myself as to why this was never felt with you anytime earlier;

I was more torn now than ever
Because my whole life with you seemed like a false endeavour;

But the hope awakened me, the new wind guided me
The showers purged me, the fresh bright rainbows uplifted me;

And
Without me knowing myself, I fell for him
Without me knowing myself, I started liking him;

Believe me when I say it was not an easy decision
trust me when I say I don't recognize myself when I am with you.

But...
Now I chose to ignore the sorrow and set forward on a hopeful mission
Take a step forward and give me a chance to find the purpose of life with new hope.

Please let me  go and leave the sorrow behind
Please let me experience the joy that I forgot that it ever existed
Please unchain me from your *******
Please allow me to dream and let the hope salvage...

You promised me love; you promised me life,
so I walked the altar to be your wife;
you vowed to be my proponent and promised endless moments,
so I welcomed with you, all the sacraments;
Assurances were lost, beautiful occasions were bygone,
life started feeling like a morbid endless marathon;
Not sure what was my fallacy,
do I really deserve this salacity?

A cool breeze blowing my tucked hair and tickling my ears,
sun rays touching me, promising to drive away all my fears;
Eyes searching for your frames from various angles,
heart unhinged from brain, words around me jangled;
Looks like you are somewhere here, near me,
if not things around me will not behave queerly.

Wished for the world to a standstill
don't care if time after this, is all uphill
Need no pleasures than just staring at you,
will swim oceans for your rendezvous;

Seasons came and passed by
still living in shadows that your memories cast by;
reliving our togetherness and not allowing my soul to lament.
Praying every falling star to bring back our precious moment..
learning that it is not that easy to forget, as it is to be forgotten,
looking for you all over the world, forgive me I am a little foughten;
didn't lose my locus,
trust me you are still my focus;
longing for your broad hug
in your smile is I am still drugged;
Need no warmth nor presents..not askew
All I want for Christmas is you..