So sad how I want to forget him.
To get over him.
But it’s not that easy as you think...
I saw him yesterday,
our eyes met and my heart exploded.
No! Not again! Don’t fall again!
He smiled and every anger, every hurt was blown away.
He owned me, and he knew what he does to my body.
He knows very well how he can hurt me
How he can destroy me
How he can manipulate me...
I’m just another stupid girl who can’t let go of him.
Who now tries to forget him,
But every time I look into his eyes,
I get lost,
So lost that I can’t find a way back...

You are a good person they say.
You’re going to find someone who deserves you they say.
But he, he isn’t the one for you they say.
He is just playing with you they say.
He only calls you because he is bored and needs someone stupid like you who listen to him, who believes everything he says.

Jeah...
Maybe they’re right...
But my heart doesn’t want to hear their warnings.

My HEART belongs now him...

How can someone you don’t know hurt you so much.
Make fun of you and treat you like an ***.
How do I even know if he is the one, when everytime we want to meet he didn’t come...
When everytime we want to meet he didn’t come.
Now sitting here and asking myself
Why? Why can’t I find a soulmate?
Why is everybody just breaking my heart?
Making me so angry but also laugh?
Why? Why? Why?
I’m asking WHY?

Waiting for his call.
To tell me how beautiful I am.
To tell me how crazy I am.
To tell me that I am not like the others.
To tell me that every time when I talk about something I am passionate about, my eyes start to shine.
To tell me how he loves it when I laugh.
To tell me that he likes me.
To tell me all those things every girl loves to hear.
But in real he doesn’t mean it.
In real he just wants to break my heart.
In real I’m just another girl he wants to get in his bed.
Just another stupid girl who’s heart just sees the good in those people.
                      Who can’t accept it that he is like this.                    
Who thinks she can change him.
But in the end she will end up with a broken heart.
She will end up believing she is ugly.
She will end up not believing in LOVE.

It is strange,
Strange how someone can hurt you so much.
Strange how you can't sleep because of this person,
How you stay awake the entire night because you think of him.
It is strange how you suddenly want to be around him,
Or only hear his voice.
It is strange how every time when he looks deeply in your eyes your body starts to shake.
It is strange how when you think of him,
Your eyes start to shine,
Or you automatically smile like an idiot.
It is strange how your body can't move when he touches you.
Strange how you listen to every word he says.
Strange how you love it when he speaks about his passion.
Strange how you know everything about him,
But he nothing about you...
Strange how your friends say to stay away from him...
Strange how you don't listen to them,
You don't hear their warnings.
Strange how you believe everything HE says.
Strange how he doesn't want to know more about you,
And only speaks about his problems.
Strange how you help him with his problems,
Understand him,
And every time something happens, you are there for him.
You drag him out from the black hole he falls every time.
Strange how he writes with many other girls,
How he sends them hearts like he did it every time to you.
Strange how he wants pictures,
Pictures of your body.
Strange how he doesn't even ask about your problems.
Strange how his problems can't let go of you,
How you keep them inside of you,
Until they destroy you.
Strange how he called you every day,
And now he doesn't have time anymore.
Strange how you can't let go of him.
How your inside breaks when you hear his name.
How your tears you hold inside for too long,
Find their way out.
Now we don't write anymore as we once did.
We don’t meet each other anymore.
You don’t talk with me about your problems anymore.
NOW YOU FOUND SOMEONE BETTER THAN ME...
I wish you two good luck and I hope that she doesn't break too.
Nobody has to go through this ****.
NOBODY...
I hope that you will treat her better.
That you will listen to her.
That you will help her.
And the most important that you will LOVE her.

~Albina