I think I get it now
I can't even see the stars
Although there is no need to wonder
I am sure they are as bright they have always been
They are just hiding
Beyond my roof
And beyond the clouds
I doubt they will go anywhere anytime soon

Acceptance was my first lesson
I have never been one to meditate
Although somehow
My mind has brought me to an understanding
The light should not be rejected
For how else would a flower bloom
I think its sad how people trap them in their room
It is beautiful
How we live
And how we love
I hate hatred
And I often hate myself
But then I realise
That dwelling will get me nowhere

Another lesson I learned was about frustration
Not everything will come your way
From my experiences
I have gained friends
Lost friends
And sometimes lost myself
But even through all of that
I learned how important it is to never neglect yourself
If you only live for others
Then what will happen when they are gone?

I learned recently about taking initiative
Anxiety is the reason my nails are short
The reason why I shake my leg
And the reason why nobody else cares
Or at least that is what I used to think in my head
But over time it came to my mind
That I could not blame anxiety for all my problems
Life is cruel
But its probably not as cruel as I thought it was

My hardest lesson was not to dwell in my own dissatisfaction
Depression was the word I used to describe the void in my soul
I used to think that nothing could ever possibly get better
And that it was better to die young instead of dying of old age
The chemicals in my mind are still changing
So when I am feeling down
I always try to acknowledge that

Writing has been therapeutic for me
It has changed the way I view the world
For both good and bad
I have met people on here who have helped me on the darkest days
So I say to anyone in need
There are people on here who want to listen
I want to listen
Lets all try get through this mess o.o

Thinking of starting a server on discord where people can post poems, thoughts, talk, etc... message if interested

I don't want to hurt anyone
Maybe that just means I will end up hurting everyone

When the butterflies come
And flutter wings so young
When their paradise falls
Will they hit the ground too

A stranger in my room
If only then I knew

Do you ever just look at something
With not a thought on your mind
But your lovely blank stare
Can see straight past the blue sky
And over the mellow meadows which give color to dreams
Over the infinite skyscrapers that grow but do not leave
Do you stare at the trees which may not have long before fall
And not even have one single thought at all

I love this vibe
Rain hits the windows
As cars pass by
The music is booming
I feel so alive
We sit in silence
And watch the pretty night sky
The thoughts are gone
Just for a moment
But the moment feels right

I didn't ask to be here
So why should I have to stay?

I'm no longer falling
Now I'm falling in love

Runaway thoughts
Too far gone from the mind
All this madness and chaos
Is enough to turn the whole world blind

Dark thoughts
The night falls slow
I see not a single star
I feel so low
Time becomes abstract
I can't bring myself to breathe
I lose myself in my lovely sheets

This room is hollow
For I would know
The light will come later
Tonight the tears will show

Stone cold
The words you spoke
But you didn't even know
And no one else seemed to either
Drifting
Is where my mind was
But no one ever asked
And now it continues to drift
Further.....
Down

And

Down...

Lower

And

Lower.
Into the depths of my favorite fantasies
And the border of my dullest nightmares

I fear myself like I fear the empty midnight sky
No stars to connect
No friends to create
Just an empty abyss
Its nice at first
The peace
And the quiet
But the quiet never leaves
Until its too loud to bare

I don't write disorderly
I just write how I feel
And right now I feel messy
My mind is as messy as the words before me
But they are words nonetheless

I want to impress people
I want to show how great I can be
I want to love myself like how others love me
Through all this pain and hurt
It will shape who I am
And I will be better for it

Take me where your eyes desire
Your heart stopped beating long ago

The words do not always come
Sometimes they can not be wrote
They are just thoughts stuck in the mind
Burred in all that is lost

I just want to go where my mind is gone
Tell a few stories
Write a few songs
Get lost in a daydream
And wait till the trauma is gone

I am not sure what is happening
But surely the rain will make me numb
When it stops then maybe sleep
I hope I dream of love
I am sensitive
Insecure
My emotions take me where they want
The simplest things I overthink
I am as vulnerable as they come

Loneliness keeps me in sometimes
I think I shake too much

Even around the plenty
It sometimes feels empty
These thoughts get me too ****** up

I wish there was an easy way
To get past the hurdles in my brain

But I know deep down
That this sadness is only temporary
Or at least that is what I say

Sometimes my mind wanders
Into the depths of your eyes
I feel my heart quicken
As if I have come back to life

With lips like yours
Who couldn't resist
Not a thought on my mind
Except I think we should kiss

When you smile
And laugh
For not a reason at all
I know I could stay with you through all day and nightfall

The way you look at me
With such beautiful eyes
Makes me so happy
To be alive

It hurts
It may do for a while
I think i'm just waiting for the music to stop
Because the silence is unbearable
These thoughts do not go away
But I have learnt to let them in
To push them away is to leave this earth
And I don't want to go away again
I know I am young
Sometimes I only see the worst
But I want you to be happy
And I want to be happy too
The pain will stay for a while
But when it has gone
You will be better for it
And I will be too
The sun will shine eventually
We will not always feel blue

The wrinkles will come soon
So best not to let your mind rot
For at the end of the day
That's all that you've got

In this dream like meadow
Let your legs become roots
Open your heart to the flowers
In time it will bloom
Let the rain tap your skin
And let it nurture your soul
Become one with the forest
Before it is gone

She did not know the world
I think it took her by surprise
Lost in her imagination
Her bed would let out a sigh
I wonder what she is dreaming now
Maybe of sunny days
Or rainy nights

Im so sad that the tears dont come

Watch the door
Maybe something will come in
I am not sure what yet
My heart is palpitating
My mind is falling apart
I want to scream
But my parents might wake up
I want to cry
But im scared that if the tears block my view
Something could get me
I'm losing it
Everyday feels the same
This loneliness is terrifying
I have never been so scared of the darkness
I used to embrace it
But now it scares me
The silence is too much to bare
What if I lose my mind when the music stops
I don't want to dream
They **** with me
What if I wake up and no ones there
And they only appear to hurt me
I am truly scared
It makes it hard to breathe
I feel tired
But erratic
I wish everything could go away when I wanted
These thoughts I have
They are ruining everything
It makes it so hard to do anything
I feel dead
And trapped
Yet lost all at once
I cant handle this **** much longer
Everything is a mess
Label me depressed
Label me anxious
It means nothing to me
I am just trying my best
But I cant do this much longer
And I know I have said that before
But this time it feels real
I think my opportunities are nearly gone

This girl said she was falling in love with me
I think she was just falling for my words

It rains sometimes
So everyone huddles inside
But that is when I love to be outside
Because it is only me and the touch of an old friend
I can SCREAM
I can cry...
And just like rain
The tears dry
But all good things must come to an end
Out comes the sun
Out comes the smiles
ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  **** me