I feel lonesome hands approaching mine
to walk me through the desert.
I tense my arms against the open night sky
which cannot be pushed away.

I want you to love my grey skies,
my pensivity that rolls across mountain ranges -
the same to me as sunshine igniting streams.
Just a different lens
through which my creature plays with light.
She is elemental
and sloughs skin off the earth like lava flowing
into the ocean to close its eyes.
I'll eat my own tail
to discover what I already know.

It’s easy
To smile
When the people around you don’t see what's underneath.

It’s easy
To force a laugh
When the people around you don’t understand.

It’s easy
To flip the “I’m Okay” switch
When the people around you don’t know.

It’s easy
To act fine
When inside
You aren’t.

I wrote for 10 minutes,
A lifetime of carefully chosen words,
But the app crashed and closed and burned,
And my finished poem disappeared.

I know that I can be selfish and narcissistic and self-destructive, but underneath all that, deep down, I'm a good person.