Empty inbox filled with spam
      Desperate posts with no replies
            Old friend that's just a contact
                    
Streets that are just park lots
     Playgrounds built for geese and ghosts
             Delicate souls hidden in the drive thru

Forgotten songs set as ringtones
      Refreshing the page for hours
            But nothing ever changes when you need it to

And here I am writing love poems and letters
      Never to be read by you as intended
           But keyboards, screens, and those feeling just as alone

The summit has not been obscured
By other towering dreams
Peaks of higher aspirations I cannot help
But want to cross and conquer
Or a swarm of warm mist
That seems to disperse whenever I am near
Never letting me close enough
To feel the comfort of its numbness and unawareness
The safety of the oblivion and the oblivious

Instead, I see everything so starkly
And unquestionably clear without a seam
For even a sprout of my readily self-deception
To thrive-
The minute green that would only let me see
Its specks of hope and grains of chance
While hiding away the monolith of impenetrable
Impossibility-

No, I no longer see my age old distant reveries
The yonder fading waves of rolling hills
That seemed destined to be mine
The distant mirage I only chased
Because it was a custom to be chasing
They have all been wiped from my mind
By a sudden total eclipse of presence

I have woken up, and forgot what my dreams were
I have arrived on the other side and saw nothing
But the same fields of scattered shrubs and
Abandoned trails

Perhaps it is only I, who’s lost
While everyone else have arrived at their destination

I have not stopped walking-
Towards you, towards life-
Though I have slowed my steps
And paused constantly, to look back
At every step I have taken
Every direction I could have taken
Every route others took
Every footprint that is not mine
I looked at every path I’d strayed
And wondered if I should have stayed
Wondered if I should have went a different way

My every thought flowed over me
Filled in the faults and valleys of my every step
Ebbed away from the path I never doubted
Was the way
Drowned every blade of grass, and
Washed away my conviction
And sent me down the stream back into my
More innocent days

Except, this time, I did not find myself
At the foot of a smaller hill
But, within a pit of pure darkness where
I could see the light, shining on everyone
And everything, but none could reach me
It showed me where I have failed
And where others have succeeded
Every immovable rock I have missed
And every rotten branch I have grabbed instead

I asked the light to spare some for me
Hoping to see everything
Instead it asked me where I most wanted to be
And I pointed up to the summit I thought
Where you were most likely to be
It did not show me a path straight to thee
But every stone that’s strong and sturdy
And told me not to look back or
Too widely around me
Not to question whether the path is the path to be
And stray from my sight to thee
For even if I never reach the place I wanted to be
I will never be lost,
Or be devoured mercilessly by the darkness
That’s everything behind me.

i wonder, at what age
you became out of my reach;
i wonder, if i even
tried reaching for you

i know that history leaves its mark on everyone
(but not many have been hurt by the tracks
left behind in the dirt
like you have)

you can sit there for days, weeks, months
while we contemplate your fate,
tossing the choices in our hands
like dice

you hear the word expendable
mumbled in countless conversations
and wonder, at what age
you became in our reach

you think of the family you left behind
and hope they will find their way to tennessee
to a better life that is  
quiet. peaceful.

will they miss your selflessness;
your keen, incisive way with words;
the bumps and hills of your rough skin;
the smell of your perfume?

i miss your evergreen smile;
your poetry;
your skin against mine;
the wonder in your eyes

I woke up in the middle of the sea
With the helm in my hands and
The vast emptiness in front of me
Every star has left me
I can only follow the moonlight
To find any familiarity

In a moment’s slumber
I seem to have been pulled into a maelstrom
A pit of pure darkness
Yet I saw all the stars
Like fireflies hiding in the
Shadows of the woods
I followed my wizened self
Through the nebulas and
Fell back into my childhood

I am within
Every field of wild grass
Every flash of light cast
Every flower and every lighthouse
Every shadow that flies past

The little feet both soft and callous
Like hummingbirds within leaves and twigs
Inexperienced and fearless
Hide within the isolated and timeless Garden of Love
To savor happily all the milk and honey

I morph myself within every being
From every cocoon to every soaring lark
And every star
I am the shadow of the night
And the colorless moon
Every traceless wind
And
Every unmarked storm

I am within every mirror
Every candlelight
Every reflection within your eyes
The untouchable dream
Within every tale through time

I place myself within everything
Only for that unexpected moment
Silent and speechless
Yet our souls echoing loudly through every breath
When I meet you again and again for the very first time.

He tastes of the ocean, I have been craving it for so long, I know the salt will drain me but Im still parched, so I keep returning for another taste, praying for it to be sweeter this time, drowning in my cravings for nothing more than saltwater stinging my mouth.