My first monster
As the blood drips through the cracks of your fake disguise
Skin peeling off from the fake body you claimed as your own
You wear the face of a friend but the intents of my worst foe
Lust seeping from every pore of your body
My second monster
The face of a man twisted until it hurts
The sound of his merciless crys
Limping slowly towards my bed post
They crawl towards me
And I hold them close because they are just like me
hiding behind a disguise, and withering in pain.

I wish I had paid more attention to the words he spoke
To the stories he told
To the sound of his voice
His smile on a sunny day
Or his boots splashing in the rain

I wish I had paid more attention when that smile disappeared
When his voice started to crack
Or when his eyes didn’t shine as bright

I wish I had paid more attention when he stopped coming around
When the phone stopped ringing
Or when the sun stopped shining

I wish I had paid more attention to way he said “I love you”
To the way he held me when I was sad
Or when we said our last goodbyes

I wish I had paid more attention to the voice on the other line
To the sermon preached at the funeral
Or maybe the faces that embraced me

I wish I had paid more attention to the sugar coated lies I was told
But the sad truth is that you can't sugar coat a suicide

I used to have a best friend
Who was as confident as can be
She loved to be social, was fun loving and carefree
We did everything together from such a young age
We had many laughs with other, oh those were the days
As we grew older we suddenly drifted apart
I don’t know what happened but I lost a friend in my heart
I wish I knew where she was today
I miss my best friend, i wish she never went away
Oh, I realized I never told you her name
My fun loving, carefree, confident as can be friend....


Was ME....

Where did that girl go?
I wonder why
She left me at a young age and never said goodbye...
I wish she would come back and help me out

But for now I will live in the shadows of my younger self
Oh how I wish you would return to me
Help me believe
To be more fun loving and carefree
Like (we) I used to be....

You are no longer the same
Your smile has be beaten so bad that I can no longer recognise it
Your eyes scream that your in pain while you fake a smile
You keep your mouth shut and your thoughts to yourself
You used to be outgoing and happy
You used to be very opinionated
You used to have a smile that could light up the whole town
What happened
What happened to your laugh can you no longer use it
What happened to your smile can you not repair it
What happened to your confidence can you not find it
That's ok I will help you repair what is broken, find what is lost, use what is discarded, I will bandage up what has been beaten. I will help...