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if he kisses you and it doesn't feel like his love is penetrating your veins through your mouth, if he kisses you and you feel like you owe him something more, if he kisses you and it feels like his tongue is searching for a "yes" in the back of your throat, if he kisses you and you don't feel like it is a direct pouring out of his love for you from his mouth to yours, if he kisses you and time doesn't stop, if he kisses you and the room doesn't spin, if he kisses you and you're not floating, if he kisses you and his lips aren't the only thing keeping you grounded, if he kisses you and he doesn't need both hands to steady himself, both hands to keep his grip on your beautiful face so he doesn't get lost in you then darling, he is not for you.
if he kisses you and it doesn't feel like he loves you, then darling, i am sorry, but he is not the one for you.
i tried to describe it feels like when you kiss me
i'm sorry for being such a hopeless romantic
good morning kisses
goodnight kisses
kisses to taste the cinnamon on your lips
happy kisses
middle of the night kisses
gentle kisses
kisses because i like you
sleepy kisses
movie theatre kisses
oh god we're in an elevator by ourselves kisses
the stolen kind of kisses
kisses because you're too cute
wake up and see you and think you're the best person ever kisses
kisses just because
monday 30th june '14
 Jan 2019 Alexander T
have you been
i guess not,
for your attention
in my poem
could tell
sorry if this nurse
took so long
in finding
the perfect words
to cure
your soul
strip your clothes
stand at the mirror
gaze at the
creature with
the foggy figure
a sinkhole
in those eyes
and a temporary
stitch whenever
you would
the collarbone
which hides,
suffocates from the
blanket of skin
sickening lies
it penetrated
corrupted your mind
ignored the
fact and just
the beast
will **** you,
don't find
it ****
the chaos is screaming
later on
you'll be
i know how
a reflection
you lost yourself
you lost you
it's like
having a stray cat
beneath your
a wandering stranger
sails from
the memories
of truth
overflowing blood
your dilemmas
it mimicked the
fire of hell
in those
the greatest harm
you'll ever
cause you
but why a
and not a
listen here,
you are your
the cure and the pain,
which decision
will define?
all i can
say is,
save yourself
from death,
it hasn't
deseved you yet
go ahead
and fight your
way to life
I suffered from these issues. And I don't have to wait to heal completely so i could serve my people.
 Jan 2019 Alexander T
 Jan 2019 Alexander T
I am sinking to
Where the moon drips
From frosted lips, frothing with
Syrupy sweet lies
One sticky spoonful at a time
 Jan 2019 Alexander T
Hiding the hurt, hiding the pain, hiding the tears that fall like rain. Saying i'm fine when i'm anything but. This ache in my soul rips at my gut. My skin is on fire; i burn from within. The calm on my face is an ongoing sin. The world must stay out; i've built up a wall. My fragile lie will collapse should it ever fall. Loneliness consumes me; it eats up the years. Until my life is swallowed by unending fears. Waiting for someone to see i wear a mask. And care enough to remove it; is that too much to ask?
hey... im thinking of commiting suicide... so i wrote this.
 Jan 2019 Alexander T
Call me a name,
**** me with words

Forget about me,
It’s what I deserve.
I’m suicidal and depressed
 Jan 2019 Alexander T
The moon split in half
And the stars crumbled,
Falling like fireworks into the sea.

I watched my world
Fall apart the day
My love left me.
I thought I loved someone... turns out I didn’t know what love was until it was too late. I loved him.... or at least I thought I did....but for some reason I can’t get over’s like everywhere I look I see him. Then it just makes me sad and I break down.
 Jan 2019 Alexander T
What if I told you
I want to die?
That i’m tired of living,
Of being alive?

What if I told you
It gets worse at night?
The thoughts get louder,
And nothing is right?

What if I died?
Would you even cry?
Would you even care?
If I took my own life?
Tbh.... I kinda wrote this for my ex....he doesn’t have an account on here so don’t try to find him on here....but this is kind of what I want to ask him.
I read a quote somewhere that said,
"I don't know how many times I have survived myself, without telling anyone else."

And I felt those words shoot through every nerve in my body. I felt them so deeply.

And I wonder how many of us feel the same way.

How many nights we fought off the suicidal thoughts, the urge to cut, the urge to purge, the urge to run or to hide out, alone, too afraid to worry or bother our friends and family.

How many days and nights have we all suffered in our own darkness alone?

People like us fight a battle no one can ever fathom because it's a battle no one can see. And we don't let them.

I've fought myself and survived myself alone so many nights.

There were nights I use to lose my own battle. But some how still came out alive.

I guess that's how we keep going. Because every time we give up we come out stronger.

You fight yourself and beat yourself up for so long that eventually you become a master of surviving a war.

We're warriors.

"I don't know how many times I've survived myself, without telling anyone else."

Tonight, I'm telling all of you.

I survived myself.

And if you're still here and you're reading this, you survived yourself too.

It's not easy but you did it.

And I'm so proud of you all.
The original quote "I dont know how many times I survived myself, without telling anyone else.", which triggered the whole poem was written by @deadwatered. A talented poet I follow on tumblr.
 Nov 2018 Alexander T
c l e o
 Nov 2018 Alexander T
c l e o
i am a rose.
i sit here in this garden of beautiful flowers. Everyone is so different. Some are sweet and kind, others are dark and cold. Some are sprouted out. Their petals strongly grasping on to reality while others are barely blooming. Hiding away in their fantasy. Will you call upon them? Do you too wonder what is happening beneath their petals?

i am a rose.

i envy the other blossoms. The Lavender’s violet shades pull you in and your mouth waters as the strong scent fills the air calming you. It seeps into your pores and you pluck her. She is victorious. She brags and boasts and you treasure her forever. I am a rose. The daisies are reserved. They give a shy smile and you fall in love. They are the spring essence you crave. They say no words but paragraphs come from their hello. Should i have been quieter? Would that satisfy you? I wish i was but

I am a rose.

Dark and depressed, i am doing my best and im sorry my thorns intimidate you. For this reason, i will never be picked.
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