Violet

Violet Aug 2021

Slivers

When the moon cannot swallow your sadness

And the stars cannot shine through your fears

I do hope you look back on me fondly

Realizing it was me all those years

When you are left all by your lonesome

And remember the warmth of my hands

Know that what I gave you was little

But I was giving you all that I had

#memories #heartbreak #love #breakup #sadness #relationship #dark #moon #hopeless

Violet Nov 2018

False alarm

And I'll keep curling my hair and wishing you cared and putting my love up for sale in the yard.

I'll keep sitting on my patio and wishing on cloud covered stars and pulling my knees under sweatshirts to make myself as small and unnoticeable as possible.

I'll keep wearing fingerless gloves and falling in love with things that only remind me of your smell your taste your eyes your mouth.

I'll keep getting up 2 hours after my alarm and blinking my dusty eyes as my sweaty palms grip your side of the mattress.

I'll keep doing all the things that make me me while you keep doing the things that make you too.

False alarms and ***** of yarn and self harm and sad guitars can't fill the void you left.

And I ask myself if I can live instead of just exist without you yet.

Violet Nov 2018

Closing time

The things I didn't think about in the moment. Post demise. We're off limits during this transition. Bumping into things. Chewing at my bottom lip by the frozen foods. I hear the buzzing of the coolers or maybe it's my own brain. Closing time.

My mind has started to remove patches of the memories as my unconscious paints them in a hue of nostalgia. This time, light blue. Glorified. Dignified. I start to lose touch with what actually happened and what I fabricated. My shoe sticks to a piece of gum on the floor. Starting to lose sight of the reality and the fallacy. A concoction of words and timelines. Somewhere between the frozen peas and carrots. I start to wish I would've cherished you more. Memorized the palm of your hand and the curve of your spine.

I can still hear it. I'm sorry. So many times. Reverb.

"All we are is apologies and endings"

On the kitchen floor now. I stare at the walls now. I leave my door unlocked now. There's nothing I could lose in a break in that you haven't taken.

If you ever come back.

We can wrap ourselves in memories and I can turn off all the lights.

Stare up at the ceiling like we did on all those nights.

Don't have to tell me you'll be over I'd rather you just walk right in.

And tell me that you're here and that you'll never leave again.

Not really sure if this qualifies as poetry or not...

#love #sadness #depression #breakup #hurt #sad #dark

Violet Oct 2018

Our Fate

I think I understood the moment I felt that doubt in my mind

I think I understood when you left me alone here all those nights

I think I understood that i was being blindsided

I think I understood but I tried so hard to hide it

All the red flags waving in my face but i put my blinders on

I guess when you care that much about someone you're already too far gone

And in doing so i get to enjoy the product of my actions

I knew i was setting myself up for a fall but you made a **** good distraction

You filled the void so well and played your part without missing a beat

We put on quite a performance highlighted with passion and deceit

And now the crowd goes wild while the stage we set goes up in flames

After all the bows are taken though it's time to dole out the blame

Make sure we both get our fair share though to be fair there's plenty to go around

An extra helping of guilt wouldn't hurt since we're already going all out

Be sure to get your tickets to the show before it's much too late

A not to be missed performance compellingly morbid, entitled

"Our fate"

#love #hurt #sad #dark #rhyme #rhyming #heartbreak #sadness #darkness

Violet Sep 2018

Voicemail

Just called to say I'm alive but I am living in your absence

Just called to say I'm fine and by fine I mean distracted

Distracted by the thought that we were never meant to be

That punch in the gut of a fact hit me this morning at half past three

Cause if we were meant to be then we sure as hell wouldn't be where we are now

Taking everything we had built up and burning it straight to the ground

I wonder if you ever think of me are your dreams splattered with my face

But that implies that I would've meant something to you in the first place

It's ******* how you told me I could call you and talk to you at any old time

Cause this voicemail will go unlistened to even though I can see you're online

It's fine I'll just keep looking for your car, your face, and a sign that you ever cared

Leave a message at the sound of my voice, please pick up I know you're still there

Idc how ****** this is I just felt like getting the pain out...
_

#emo #pain #hurt #heartbreak #sad #dark #rhyming #rhyme #love #darkness

Violet Jul 2018

Indebted

The hardest feelings to process in this process nearly over

No longer am i looking to see if you're looking over my shoulder

The sound of your voice has nearly faded from those age old memories

We can't deny that we had good chemistry though, now can we?

The darkest places I was in is when you'd make your grand appearance

When I was thinking of ending it all your presence acted as interference

But a crutch is all you became in spite of my thinking it was something more

You're probably going about your life while I lose my **** on my living room floor

I did this all for you I hope you know that much is true

But you don't owe me anything if anything I'm indebted to you

I'll leave a forwarding address below in case you should still care

And I'll keep opening my doors and messages even though I know no one is there

#love #hate #emo #dark #heartbreak #rhyme #hatred #sadness #feel #broken

Violet Jul 2018

Here's to endings

We ended just as quickly as we started as i recall

The moment i met you, my red hair, your tattoos, grabbing coffee and hoping for fall

I thought we had a chance but chances are I'm probably wrong

I should have listened to my gut saying you were lying all along

But i listened to my heart instead and ended up where i am now

Cutting my skin on the pieces of my shattered heart as it lays on the ground

You can't just block someone and act like what was there had never existed

The fact that you did though tells me from the start this whole thing was twisted

You had only one motive but I stayed devoted hoping someday you would come around

But now that I've lost you completely I'm seeing the signs I ignored somehow

I'm glad that we ended before we got started it leaves me nothing to remember

Except the moment I met you, my red hair, your tattoos on that afternoon in September