Even as a child
my happyness
has been wired with fear.
When I laughed too hard at day
I had nightmares at night.

Is that the way we are taught to be?
When the day is bright
one should keep an eye opened for
the dark night yet to come.
And only speak of whishes
in murmur and undertone.

-A tradition passed on from father to son-
and even more subtly from a mother
to the woman that little girls is yet to become.
Are we afraid to be too happy?

Am I scared to breathe in full lungs?
I am quite sure fear is my predominant gene
and happyness is so illusive and intangible
that sometimes I doubit its even real
- but I want to scream out loud for once:
I am scared but I am thrilled to be here.

K.E

a smile
a kiss
a promisse
and few thing you say:
three words wrapped in smile
seems i'll be happy today

Minds wander from here,
Minds seek refuge.

Today, let's not escape.
Let's try to understand.
The inner workings;
Of a Slave,
Of a Master,
Of Controlled Perceptions.

Understand; and create your Own.

your mind is like the ocean
a constant wave of emotion
for a second it was a storm of hate crashing out
now it is a calm tide of love surfacing about

beneath the tides lie countless wrecks
like memories resting inside my head
I thought I'd forgotten
placed them deep below
but they surface from time to time
trying to stay afloat  

my mind has a never ending complexity
I own it - yet struggle to control it
it is drowning in emotion
it is struggling to keep afloat

but for now I will bathe in the undisputed unknown