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You replaced the sun many years ago
An ideal apparition of you floating
My central perfection to dance around
A love that one could only dream about
Now I can only see you when I dream

The claws of fate play the harp beautifully
Leaving me often in shambles and unruly
To fantasies over adoration so wasted
The candles in my shrine now dust
The mechanics inside of me all rust

You brush the hair from her eyes
And lines grow and I go grey
This wound doesn't seem to heal
No matter how many times I've spun
Around you with your arms crossed
Fixation
False prophet
Following
Sweating
Showering
Salivating
Submissive

Clutch your cross
Getting nailed
Deep breaths
Derailed

Worshiped
Leather licked
Rebuked
Invoked
Delivered
Baptized
Kept
Love glows in my chest
Composes my very nature
Tests my every limit
Leaves me sleepless
Restless
a falling boy's
measured out footprint,
slipping in vain search
for a breadcrumb of solace

lost is spring, and green,
and bird nesting,
lost is his mother's smile,
he breathes in deeply

a memory of trees,
an afternoon sun
emptied of fertility:
a high wood on its last, teetering legs

urban air is everywhere
and wishes to be free,
but we are all carbon emissions,
separate living-dying pieces

polluted hieroglyphics
with nothing to convey,
fragments of a prayer
with nothing left to say
little angel
gift from God
center of my world

little princess
on a porcelain pedestal
cherished deeply

i love you
as only a daddy can
at times
I wish I could live backwards
hoping that I could meet
the happy version of me
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