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***** ***** ***** dishes
scrubbing dirt off them like they have somewhere to be
why do they have to be so clean
what do they have to prove
i just hate cleaning
i wait and wait and wait and wait

and wait
i sit with skinned knees turned up toward the fluid membrane of the sky

wait

my mouth is supposed to be a pretty pink like you drew me out to be

it's a devastating gray

waiting waiting

how may fingers do i have to count on before you come back to me

stop stop

i don't beg for anyone

except for the voice in my head to
SHUT
UP

i told myself that beauty is subjective

i want to be subjective

stopping

blood flows through the space behind my eyes
i can't see any color but a brilliant red

shut up

how high do i have to jump before the force of the landing breaks both my legs?

my heart beats to no one but the idea that I am superior

do i have the capacity to hate myself?

no
this is a weird format and a bad poem but whevvvvvsssssssss
 Apr 2015 Turtle O'Turtleman
Gwen
city full of lotus eaters
sleeping in peaceful apathy;
a life with no reality

dancing in the wind
with a slowly fading mind
drowning in the bliss

sunlight beating down
creating dark shadows on the ground
they move all around

city full of silence
whispers unheard in the distance
surviving by ignorance

they eat their lotus flowers
drifting hour by hour
nothing but a blank stare
is anything even there
Is this okay???????
I am
A street without a name
A pictureless frame
A dull knife
A still life

I am
A question mark
A smothered spark
An unread book
A stolen look

I am
A blank page
An empty stage
A heavy sigh
A passer-by

I am
A ship with paper sails
A train on rusted rails
A flightless bird
A Dream Deferred

I am
An overcrowded mind
A word that hasn't been defined
A lighthouse that no longer stands
Two feet sinking in the sand.
 Apr 2015 Turtle O'Turtleman
Gwen
You planted a garden in my heart,
And the flowers grow with your love.
Please don't leave then to wilt,
While leaving me to die.
Haven't been on in a bit I guess.
1.youre too careful and too soft and your stomach
is growling. (you havent figured out if its
the emptiness you like
or feeling like youre alive, after all)
2. your teeth start to fall out in your hands;
your gums are rotted through.your blood
tastes like sweet wine
honey in in a fly trap
a cavernous echo when you feel brave enough to open
your mouth and beg.
3. there are princesses in your dreams, and theyre dripping blood
onto the carpet
(your mom bought it special for you two years ago
shes going to be furious.)
4. dissociative identity disorder is characterized by the presence of two or more distinct personality states
5. youre on fire youre on fire youre on fire youre on fire youre on fire youre on fire youre on fire youre on fire
6. youre covered in dirt. stop screaming in public
be quiet you ******* slimeball
what a creep.
7. you wake up in the middle of the night. you are missing two of your limbs. this
is normal
you go back to sleep.
8. she is delighted at your progress. you smile, and feathers are stuck between your teeth.
the dead bird in your lap says nothing.
9. you wake up in the middle of the night. you are in a coffin. this
is normal
you go back to sleep.
10. she is delighted at your progress. you smile, and clean up the mess you made.
11. you wake up in the middle of the night. your arm is missing. this
is normal
you go back to sleep.
the dead bird on the floor says nothing.
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