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  Mar 2018 soliana
william robert roy
right now,
i have something:
two hands holding mine,
a kiss on the cheek,
a kiss everywhere,
two bright blue eyes
that pull me
in faster than
an ocean's tide,
a friday night drink,
i'm making
my way up from
your parents'
basement to wake your
sleepy **** up in your
childhood bedroom,
a saturday morning
cuddle:
this is something
i keep telling myself.

but i don't want something.
i want someone.
-WRR
soliana Mar 2018
in most pixar movies
or probably in the reality there is
we dont get what we want
we get what we deserve
and even though
we get what we want
its the will
to find what we deserve

and im ever so lucky to find it with you.
7:33 PM
3/12/18
soliana Mar 2018
you always told me
you gave me no reason
to want to die
but the truth was
you gave me all the reasons
but i told myself
more often than not
that there wasnt
so i tricked myself
that dying was not the answer
but it always was
it wsa the answer that screamed
to me
whenever i felt unworthy
whenever i felt hopeless
so when i felt numb
it became an echo
a whisper that
i followed as i
jump from the topmost building
and the only thing left
for me to hear
was my mouth screaming for help
or rather
your name as you watch me fall.
7:58 PM 3/11/18
soliana Mar 2018
i wasnt happy
because i wanted to
i was happy
because i had to
and i didnt want that
and thats what
made me insane.
- how depression creeps in
9:45 PM 3/11/2018
  Mar 2018 soliana
Miseria
Truth lies beneath your warm smile
that as time passed by
you've learned that in order to survive
you have to suffocate yourself with lies
telling you are loved
you are cared
you are blinded by hallucinations
you went to a place you called paradise
and filter your pain with i'm alright
in reality you are long dead
your soul is broken into pieces and shattered on the floor
bathe in your own tears
you wanted to tell the truth
you wanted not to hide
you wanted to tell them that you are suffering from anxiety, loneliness every night
that as she shut the door and said  Sleep tight
you took a blade and slits your beautiful skin and rest with tears in your eyes
you tried to hide your wounds with a smile and telling everybody you're fine
  Mar 2018 soliana
Lizzie
She sits alone in her room,
Listening to the sound of raindrops pounding on the window,
Demanding to be let in.
She cries in silence, for the pain she bares is too much,
She laughs with friends, flirts, jokes, alive with joy,
But in the end it's when she's all alone..
She chokes..
The crushing weight of dread, loneliness, and sorrow stab at her chest..
She wonders, when can she rest…
The voices are upon arrival, telling her there's no survival;
She pulls herself closer to hide the demons within..
But how can you drown them if they know how to swim?
‘Dunk them under’, they say, ‘smother them’;
‘How can I do that’ , she asks, ‘If they are inside me?’
As the rain pours louder, her heart shatters like glass,
The sharp edges cutting fast,
She asks herself,’How much longer can I last?’
As she takes the final slash
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