Dear 4 am,
Legend says when you can't sleep that you're awake in someone else's dreams. So I don't know if that's my problem, or if it's my restless thoughts. So maybe you're the source of my insomnia, or maybe I'm my own problem.

Sincerely,
Me

i have a good feeling that if you put two pieces of paper in front of me and asked me to list negatives and positives about myself, not only would the negatives list be longer than the positives, i'd need more than one piece of paper

i feel like most days i'm just watching my life play out like a tv show or video game i used to like as a kid, but something about it just isn't that great anymore

i.


there are days
when my stars
align just for me.


my inner cosmos
telling me to write
about the pain.


my inner cosmos
telling me to expand
the universe within.


ii.


there are days
when my stars
collapse.


i am made of pure
darkness.


i am made of pure
anxiety—


terrified of not seeing
the sun again.


iii.


there are days
when my stars
rise—


like the infinite suns
that they are.


illuminating my being.

it used to be
the nights i couldn't remember
were the nights i couldn't forget
but you have changed that
because while i was trying to drown myself
and cover the problems in my head
they were still underneath
i had no hope
until you came along
i was lost
until you found me
and now with you
i'm slowly
finding myself

honey if you don't love yourself, who the hell will?

i look around this town
and see the places i've spent hours with you
it all started at that fairground
in our own little world
laughing until the sun goes down

and as i see these places
i find myself smiling
because there is nothing to do in this town
but we always manage
to make something out of nothing

and as long as i have you
i have everything
in this boring old town