mean beam bottom ***** without reluctance.
\ air above \
since forever baby boy: since forever liquid sparkler.

he has sense
& peanut butter jelly geography to his page.
his romance is of the west.
his eyes are of dandelions kicked & to the wind.
he moves like ancient turtle migration.
reaches feet to sidewalk \ sand to depths \ ride \

night:
velcro-tightened mind withstanding.
party lights, ***** willows, retro punch, he
is orpheus descending: with all the elements positioned just so.
\ jellyfish electric \  
he says he likes the loneliness.
he says it’s the water.

& so he moves \ wills himself into the next measure.
liquid resolute bits.
so move \ orca \
curl of eye \ so ride \ black rollo wave \
basilica \ & \
coral reaches below \\\

he likes to tell it, with warmed exaggeration.
slow-motion buffalo stampede. ride the railroads free & easy.
orange glowing bars of elsewhere. oscillating seal calls.
oily portland hipsters howling on the beach. those
juno cheeked rosy-red lips.
somewhere, sister getting married.
spring, summer, fall, winter, spring.
africa ******* a branch of a tree of a forest, overlooking elephant burial grounds.
color & white material:
plantations, gas stations, diners, & sharks.

this is the morning lunar \
sweet blue beach of the old & awakening.
he crawls out & into her breaks.
her deep heights & bombora reef. the serotonin
functions twice, exposed between thin tissues of warm-blooded neurochemistry.
human, shown.
he is as a raw page, blank, yet
dipped \
\ so ride \ bulbous waves of air mother agua \
ride \ &
\ ride \ &
brew by light these occurrences forever.

Innocent eyes looking on
Forgotten like the song

Yesterday was no better
Of us staying together
Until the darkness came

Creating nothing the same
After you walked away
Reaching for another day
Everywhere tears would fall
Drowning out your call

1937

bushido invasion
memory still vivid in the Chinese
of a slaughter
prisoners
chopped and lobbed into the river
display their heads
let the next line kiss the remains
but the time is ticking
and the water is only pink
prisoners
mowed down
with bullets
and laughter
they can turn and swim
Japanese aim is good
not one makes it to the other side
the pink
is a deep red flood
becoming a dam
with the bodies of
children
ladies
gentlemen

why did those murdered forget
the purple mountain legend
when it burns
the city falls
why did they not flee faster

the policy issued
plunder
burn
******
do not let that little boy
take revenge
5 years old
they severed him

Japanese leaders saw a chance
to remove any pity
in the solider
they ripped out
humanity
inserted
brutality

training exercise
hoist your bayonet
plunge forward
twist
extract
plunge
twist
extract
men with bound wrists
considered subhuman
butchered
plunge
twist
spit

routine puts soldiers at a disadvantage
fire is added
fields are swamped with oil
and laced with people
patrolled edges
keep the cries alive
the only release
death

movement is needed
tanks must pass
chatting soldiers hang out the sides
wheels roll over the bodies
filling the ditches
carcasses
and
wounded
if there is not enough
they found the closest Chinese
and added it to the pile

competition
2 leaders
in a fight to show superiority
uptake a challenge
to win is 100
swords are withdrawn
ignore its' eyes
the race
a beheading
lost count
up the stakes
150

only the beginning
for the women

a hunt commences
females do not leave the house
there is not one in the streets
rounded up
army trucks
bringing in loads
******* like animals
chained to racks
*****
commonly gang-*****
bleeding to death
aged under 8
over 80
a pregnant women
***** to death
her fetus cut out
and destroyed
encouragement
from higher ups

and the advice given
pikankan is acceptable
every warrior should
do not let them talk
**** the pigs
when they are done being women

more than 20,000
maybe less than 80,000
defiled
in the carnage

journalist support
with authentic recounts

but with time
confused hospitalization
of the soldiers
who puked every meal
and gagged from inside out
as the horrors ate them

the only relief
an international safety zone
perhaps 20 Westerners
to help a mere 300,000
only half
at intervals
Japanese crossed the fence
for the women hunt
for Chinese soldiers
recognized by calloused hands

irony
******* on a Westerner arm
a symbol
as he aided
survivors of the massacre
and the Nazis in Nanking
aghast
leaked information
on the horrors
and
****** ordered silence

a single surgeon
a lucky boy with only one bayonet puncture
another
missing eyes
missing ears
half a nose from
100 tied together
set on fire

Japanese photography
of bonding moments
as they watched
a house packed tight
panicked people on roofs
to escape flames
jumping

6-8 weeks later

more refined brutality
enforced prostitution
and intake of *****
****** cigarettes for children

the West
in ignorance
watched the German rise
forgot responsibility
to humanity
in the Asian wars

no apology
denial
unfair hatred
of later innocent Japanese generations
mention of Hiroshima
amuses some Chinese
doesn't bother others
it's not everyone
that's still too many

lacking sympathy
the road to brutality
lingers

Moon is not beautiful
She doth not shine golden
She drops weakened, white light
on creatures craving sleep

She sits there and stares
At a frightened little world
with her cold, chilling glow
and a hostility deep

It's ingrained in her soul
to make the nimbus look fearsome
ghastly and pale
like a place to hide demons

She debases belief
We forget our star-wish
and thick, we go fishing
at nighttime

And then, Moon releases
a loneliness, cold
and we can't elude
we're stuck in the hole of
This brooding solitude mood
and its tole.

There's no escaping anytime soon
As we start to fear
the burning sun
And I suppose, this is my loathing of Moon.

Moon is contagious.
She offers the aid of her presence, unfailing
When we're washed down like willows, weakened
and wailing

And we can sail under her
Just as the dime
It's a lie that the night's
only clock-start for crime

When she's out from the hiding place
to be bright as Moon can
There's not a direction
No footpath
No overworked plan

And when I remember:
Beauty needs not a rival
I suppose I'll be loving Moon, soon again.

I want to evaporate
Disappear into the great
Black obysss.
Into the night sky
So clear and sure
Twinkling and sparkling
Moon dust in my hair
I dance with death,
He spins me and twirls me.
He's my puppet master
He's dangling my life
By a silken shimmering silver thread.
He kisses my neck,
And my chapped parted lips
Forever screaming silent pleas
Someone, anyone,
Save me from the nothing
I've slowly become.
I'm done with dancing,
I've grown to tired to keep going,
Take me with death.
I'm done with dancing.
My heart aches and yearns,
For a past that will never return.
A life I can never have,
A family I've lost,
Somewhere in this journey.
I'm done with dancing.
My mind bleeds
Forever asking me why do stay.
It'd be so easy. To just slip away.
To forget the reasons why,
I should never pull the trigger.
And be selfish. And just do it.
I'm done with dancing.
My soul is screaming and careening.
I don't know who I am anymore.
I've lost my way and myself.
I'm tortured by demons
Ever present. Ever there.
Whispering in my ear,
They tell me what to do.
I'm done with dancing.
I shake the moon dust from my hair.
It'll melt in hell anyway.

Today it is raining
And the sky is reaching its fingers down
To comfort me.
We are the same
We neither of us
Know how to cry just right.
Sometimes I know the razorblade torrents of water
Are meant to be caresses.
The wind whips rain into my face
From a sympathetic sky
Reaching out
Contact,
Contact!-
It is lonely, never truly touched
And knows not how to be,
And its reaching hands are too rough, too eager
And then sometimes it ***** in its breath
As if it's realized it's gone much too far,
But we are the same.
We are the same and I understand why one moment I am drenched
And the next I only feel a mist.
We neither of us
Have control.
We are only trying
Our best.
It often rains on days when I am sad.
I wish it was acceptable to be a storm,
To throw yourself at the ground with all your abandon,
To wail
To crash lightning and split trees down their centers.
I wish it was okay to be so chaotic.
But never once has anybody seen my storm
And not been angered by its force.
So when I am sad I love to walk in the rain
Because we understand each other-
Everybody hates rainy days.
They are beautiful...
From inside.
They are necessary...
But endured.
Because they don't know when to quit.
They don't know
How-
Reeling out of control,
Sometimes your hair gets wrecked,
Sometimes
Your roof leaks.
Sometimes,
You just can't get the damp to stop clinging to your clothes
Like a needy child.
People hate rainy days.
I don't hate rainy days.
We understand each other.
I admire them.
They have no permission, either
To be so volatile,
So
Passionate.
But they do not hang on.
They let go.
Because it is all they know how
To do.
It is all I know how
To do either
But I am here on the ground,
Here in these bones that can't burst lightning
Or wail like the wind
Here in this flesh that, unlike the storm, needs to be loved.
So all I do is let the rain wash my face,
In solidarity
Because
We neither of us
Know how to cry just right.

Tell me...
Are we falling apart like a pastry in your fingers?
Like a lost receipt in the washing machine?

Are we falling away like a thousand year old shooting star?
Like cottonwood seeds in summer?

Is our love dying like Romeo and Juliet's?
Like the symbiosis of the bees in genetically modified fields?

Are we melting to nothing like cotton candy in your mouth?
Like plastic left beside a fire, rotten and corroded?

Are we falling apart like I feared?
Or can we stay strong and figure out
What the hell we will do with our life together?
Will we stay in stress and silence?
Will you continue not to look me in the eyes?
Will you continue to kiss me like there is something wrong?
Will you think that I am a sin? A *****?
Will you be scared for me when I fall apart again?
Or will you fall away and care more about what is for dinner that day?
Will you lie to me when you stop loving me?
Will you feel obligated to stay because of my
Mind killing me from the inside out?