growing out my bangs and my hair
so i can feel less aware
of the empty spot next to me
where you used to be

losing weight, lucky me
numbers i always wanted to see
at least i'll put space between you
and the me you knew

the new me in the mirror
she sees things a little clearer
without your fingerprints on her skin
almost out of the mess you left her in

our relationship is a bittersweet memory
beginning and middle sweet like honey
the end, suffocating like hazy smoke
now even the sweetest parts make me choke

i miss the me i was last week
no, more than weeks
i miss when i was so happy i could barely speak
in my favorite town with my chosen family
i'll move on from memory, eventually.

i miss the me that had a plan
a future, a focus
it slipped through my fingers like sand
i'll figure it out, eventually
but right now i'm mourning what i never got to see.

i miss the me that had you
it's national girlfriend day
did you know that too?
i'm not a girlfriend anymore
i'm not your girlfriend anymore
seeing everyone's posts makes me feel a little sore.

i'll get over it, eventually.

I thought you were the Sun
And I, Icarus
Your warmth burned so sweet
Till I became undone

You are so human
With failings and flaws
I failed to see
Blinded by your gaze on me

You were a false God
And I, your most devout worshiper
Sang your praises and thought you sang mine
Now I just mourn all my wasted time.

sometimes my problems feel so big
like they'll just about swallow me up
but sitting among the sycamore trees
makes me feel like i'm good enough

i can tell the trees all my secrets
whisper them into the bark
the leaves and the branches won't tell on me
even after the forest gets dark

the forest is filled with magic
a quiet magic most cannot see
i hope that the power residing here
also has a home in me.

If he is the Sun
I am a lizard on a desert rock
Basking in his glow
Will he bathe me always in his light
Warming me for life
Or will he leave me to an eternal night?

And if he is the Sun
Am I an Icarus?
If I get too close will he scald me
Or will he be merciful that god he
Will he let me fly beside him
He, the Sun, the most heavenly body

If he is the Sun
Perhaps I am the Moon
Recycling his light, his spark
Using it to cast my own into the night
Could the Sun love the Moon?
If he is the Sun, I hope he might

my heart aches
when i think of your face
but only because of the could've beens.

what could have been if you'd liked me back
what could have been if we had dated
what could have been if you loved me.

i ache and mourn those could've beens
because my heart thinks they should've been
but they weren't.