i want to know what it is to be
fully enamored with a person
to breathe them in completely
to be totally enveloped
in their being.

i wish i understood
the physics of your smile
how forces of motion
push the corners up
against gravity.

if i knew
maybe i could produce such a smile
or at the very least
get to see light refracting
in your blue eyes.

I wanted him.

I wanted him more than anything.

Every fiber of my body was attracted to this boy.

And I believed every lie he told me, about him wanting me.

Long story short.

He didn't want me at all.

i despise being pigeon-holed.
seeing myself through the circular looking glass
having one singular personality trait
based solely on my physicalities and class.

cute.
that's my descriptor
has been since I was a child
but I would walk miles to escape that word.

i am as multi-faceted as a kaleidoscope
i need no rope from another to pull myself
from the ashes of my failures

do not question my abilities because I have the eyes of a doe
or the body of woman.

i can move mountains with my hands and create worlds with my fingertips
hours of song can escape my lips
riddles and mathematic equations lay not in my hips
but in my mind.

i despise being pidgeon-holed
for my worth does not equate to my weight
and the space I'm allotted on this Earth does not count my appearance as a deciding factor
my strength as a human being does not relate to my gender
so you need not distract her
for she has goals ranging up to the sky
and down to the bottom of the sea
I am a woman and I will be free
of being pidgeon-holed.

her relationships always end in fire
it's nothing to admire
passion is a weak foundation for love.

it wears down easily and burns too quick
volatile personalities that should not mix
like a match and wood.

i have seen her way
dark feelings held at bay
great when good and awful when bad.

Beautiful fire can take away a breath
but I'd rather have a cold death
than a hot one.

hiding in the darkness of closed eyelids
on the brink of spilling off of my tongue
i was once as naive as those silly kids
but from errors come consequences.

i forgive myself, i think
desire for some semblance of relief.
but i am on the brink
i know not how to forget.

for once i wish my memory was not so tightly wound
like a coil to never be unbound
i wish to move on
but i am scared that my mistakes follow me.