Being a girl,
Doesn't mean a three way hole,
Being a girl,
Means to be admired and respected as a whole..

Being a girl,
Doesn't mean that getting married is your goal,
Being a girl,
Means to be whatever your heart says to your soul..

Being a girl
Doesn't mean that (just) as a mother, wife or girlfriend is your role..
Being a girl,
Means that you need to prove yourself as a diamond in the mine of coal..

Being a girl,
Doesn't mean that entire your life you need to stay a tadpole..
Being a girl,
Means that you need to develop into a frog before getting ole..

Being a girl,
Doesn't mean that you are the negative of the dipole,
Being a girl,
Means that - you need to take your life's control..

Being a girl,
Doesn't mean to accept your worth to be ***** and *****,
Being a girl,
Means to accept your beauty, not just the duty,

Being a girl,
Doesn't mean that you can be a heroine just in the movie..
Being a girl,
Means that you can be a superhero in real life - you can be a ruby!

Newton, Shakespeare and Lady Day
on the shoulders of giants I totter
science technology and poetry
politics media and philosophy
layer on layer of ideology
collide like matter and antimatter.
Rules from school and infancy
loyalty influence and love.
You ask me what makes me tick.
The clock ticks. My watch ticks.
I quietly wonder - tick, tick, tick.

I never lost my virginity
At the age of 19
To a boy who promised
That it will not hurt
I never bled
I never bit my lips
I never cried

I never slept with a writer,
Musician, chemist,
An engineer or even a *******
I never tried a pregnancy test kit
I am not scared
Of those two red lines

I never loved my best friend
Or those strangers
Who painfully ripped my body
I love those stains
Of a long forgotten past
Embedded on crumpled sheets  

I was never molested
When I was 5 or so
It was just a game
I never cursed that night
I never hated my brother

I want men to crave for me
I never wanted their affection
I don’t want to ******* **** them
On streets in the middle of the night
With cat calls

I am not depressed
I love my scars
I never took ******
Just to sleep at night
Or wept in the middle of nowhere

I am a strong woman
I am not damaged
I ******* hate this life
It’s too beautiful for someone like me  

This is not a poem
Of a broken girl
I am okay.
I wanna live.
I am not a liar.

A happy girl
Wrote this
Waiting for her prince charming
To free this damsel in distress
From the tower of anguish
And to live happily ever after

what am doing?

my strength is my coolness

hope I lost my power

am getting anger like a bullet train

applying brakes is a tedious job

and unfortunately I lack disc brakes.

am somehow not able to digest humiliation

not sure if am doing it right

but, definitely hurting quite a few.

a change which is undesirable

that's not me but, am transforming the way

I never want to

a child
So small and fragile
So innocent and strong
So delicate and alive
So wanting to belong

you*
So cold and unforgiving
So weak and towering
So uninhibited and fumbling
So dead and crumbling

You turned the child into you
You made **** sure of that
You turned the child against the world
You made its foundation crack

The child wanted to breathe
The child wanted to laugh
The child needed love
The child got none back

This morning I wandered along the canal
The autumnal sunlight glinting on rippled water
More beautiful than any man cut diamonds
Autumn snow flakes filled the air
Flakes of red, gold, yellows and faded greens
Forming multi hued drifts around my feet
Overhead a skein of geese
Unerringly headed south
A picture forever imprinted on the mind
What a beautiful season is autumn
Colours bright, colours warm
But
All to soon she will leave
Her colours to fade and die
All to soon winters might will rule
And we must suffer winters bitter storms

Dear you,
I wrote you a letter last night in the middle of an anxiety attack. I didn't know it was addressed to you until about halfway through, but it only makes sense that it all comes back to you. I guess I wanted to write everything that was going on in my head onto paper, to stop thinking about everything and everyone, including you. I keep saying I'm happy for you that things are getting better for you and that you're happier now but I think everyone knows I'm just pretending that I'm not in ruins that you left me for dead. I hope you think about me sometimes, I hope you remember who I used to be.
Love, always,
Me.

I was born
September 3, 1998.
In a small hospital in Korea.

Growing up,
I never knew how it felt to be alone.
I was always with someone taking care of me.
Whether it was my family or friends.

By the time I got to grade school,
I found out what bullying was.
I was bullied constantly, non-stop.
But there was a boy who stood up for me.
He was short and had brown hair.
I knew he liked me, but I never liked him back.

During grade school,
I moved to a place which I never knew existed.
I went south from my home.
I went to the beautiful archipelago called the Philippines.

It was my first time to go out of the country.
I was happy I got to meet new people
And go to new places.

My first day of school was nerve wrecking.
I barely knew how to speak English.

Time flied fast.
But the experiences never changed.
I was still bullied.
But now, there was no one who stood up for me.

When I got to seventh grade,
I got suicidal.
I started scratching myself until I got scars.
I tried to choke myself with a towel.
It was never ending.

I was known to be happy and outgoing.
But who knew the girl who smiled the most,
Would be the one who wanted to leave first?

The people who brought me to this world were killing me slowly.

I lost confidence in myself because of them.
They would call me fat.
I know they did it to look out for me.
But a scar that deep doesn't heal easily.

I gave up dreams and hobbies.
Just to make them happy.
So I wouldn't see them in pain.

Until today,
I have suicidal thoughts.
I still scratch myself.
I still try to choke myself.
I feel like I'm useless.
I try to break every part of me.

The scars that I've gotten
Changed who I am,
Changed how I looked at myself,
Changed who I wanted to be.

It's painful to see who I've become.

I can barely look at a mirror without saying, "Ugh."

My self asteem was gone.

I lost myself trying to find myself.

maybe I don't belong in this world
maybe I was just an accident
maybe I wasn't meant to be created

maybe I loved other people just to hurt them
maybe I shouldn't love because I break hearts and dreams
maybe I should just hide in the corner and cry

maybe I should just disappear and never come back
maybe I should become invisible

no one would care, right?