Valentine's Day
And now I have back
The person I love
my reason to smile.

It's been a long time
5 months without you
but it felt like forever
without reason to smile

Then came that day
friday the 14th
My lucky day I guess
I got back my reason to smile

I now have my light
after months of darkness
for you came back,
My reason to smile

Is it even possible
to write out my happiness?
if it is
There's not enough paper.

Valentine's Day
And now I have back
The person I love
my reason to smile.

You are my reason to smile<3

Five A.M.
I wake up gasping
Crying, Shaking
nightmares

You
I was talking to you
For the first time in a while
nightmares

That wasn't so bad
But then you told me
You hated me
nightmares

No, no.
I couldn't take that
I woke up sobbing
nightmares

Five thirty A.M.
Writing this down
So maybe, I won't have more
nightmares?

Dear friend
Why didn't You
ever tell me
Anything.
I just found out
Everything
By talking to
your other friend.
You trusted them
Not me
And you have the guts to call us friends.
You tell them everything
And me?
You tell me nothing
You barely even talk to me.
This has been too long in coming
It's through.
Of course,
I'll play along
Pretend I'm your friend,
The way you do to me,
But I will tell you
Nothing
The exact thing
You told
Me

Close the window
close the tab.
you know he's not coming back
why do you still hope?

Oh lonely poet girl
for whom does your heart sing?
it sings for the boy in Kansas
a thousand miles away

Why do you think he loves you,
when he leaves without a trace?
why do you say he cares
when he left you high and dry?

oh happy poet girl
tell me from the past
do you believe he loves you?
if so, love him back

delete his email
delete his contact
scratch out his name
from your heart

oh tired poet girl
don't give up just yet
if he truly loves you
you know he will come back

erase his phone number
delete your den
tell your friends
not to mention him

oh joyful poet girl
Is it he who makes you smile?
if so then you're in love
treasure the smiles and him

Get him out
of your mind,
and soon he can be out
of your heart

oh scared poet girl
what makes you cower in fear?
the thought of him leaving
and never coming back

He abandoned you,
yet you love him still?
in what way does he
deserve your love?

oh hopeful poet girl
with dreams of a future so bright
hold on to those dreams,
maybe they'll come true.

Close the window
close the tab
If he loved you,
he would've come back

oh sad poet girl,
who is it that broke your heart?
who is it that can fix it?
they're the same boy

Stay with me
One more day
One more night
Even one more post

Talk to me
One more time
It's not allowed
But when did that stop you?

Say to me
Tell me you love me
Just one more time
Remind me of our forever

One more e-mail
One more post
Breach our distance
Please?

Just once more?

Who says we can't have
A long distance love story?
Who says the miles
Will change the plot?

We're still in love
Though far apart
We still care
Despite the length

We shouldn't be in love
Shouldn't but are
So why can't we
Have a love story?

If Our love story exists
We're living it
So why can't we find
The happy ending?

What's our love story without a happy ending?

Who says we can't have
A long distance love story?
Who says the miles
Will change the plot?

We're still in love
Though far apart
We still care
Despite the length

We shouldn't be in love
Shouldn't but are
So why can't we
Have a love story?

If Our love story exists
We're living it
So why can't we find
The happy ending?

What's our love story without a happy ending?

I was sittin' in math in the middle of class in the middle of my work
I had one thought on the questions, the other on You
I turn around as the song turns up and realize there's something wrong
It's nothing, I was just thinking.... We don't have a song.

Then I think
Our song is the clack of key boards
Sneaking on late just to yo-ou
When we're on the phone and we talk real slow,
Cause it's late and our parents don't know

Our song is the way we type,
First time you asked
I didn't say yes
And I should have

And when I log out,
'Fore I close the lid,
Asking God if he,
Could play it again.

I was walking down the main office steps  
After everything that day.
It'd gone all wrong, I'd been hated on
And lost and thrown awa-ay

I got to the  hallway
Well on my way
To my normal seat.

My mind started thinkin'
Of all the things we did
And I began to si-i-ing,

Our song is the clack of key boards
Sneaking on late just to yo-ou
When we're on the phone and we talk real slow,
Cause it's late and our parents don't know,

Our song is the way we type,
First time you asked
I didn't say yes
And I should have

And when I log out,
'Fore I close the lid,
Asking God if he,
Could play it again.

I heard every album
Listened to the radio
Waiting for something to come along.
That was as good as our song.

Cuz Our song is the clack of key boards
Sneaking on late just to yo-ou
When we're on the phone and we talk real slow,
Cause it's late and our parents don't know

Our song is the way we type,
First time you asked
I didn't say yes
And I should have

And when I log out,
'Fore I close the lid,
Asking God if he,
Could play it again.

I was sittin' in math in the middle of class in the middle of my work
I grabbed a pen and an old assignment and I wrote down our song

Daniel, you are
My perfect boyfriend.
You listen well
And play guitar
You let me rant
And never ignore me
You talk to me
Before anyone else
You laugh at
My dumb jokes
You tell me my poetry
Is the best in the world
You make me feel
Beautiful
You come back to me
Even though I was the one
Who got you in trouble
And forced you to leave
You never forget
A special event
Or anniversary.
You give me
The most thoughtful gifts
You love me
And even though we're
1,608 miles apart
You fell in love
With me.

I got to 40,000 words in this month
And I may finish NaNoWriMo
I may win
I think that
For once in my life
I've earned the right
To be proud
Of myself.

Today I tried To outrun
the person No one can ever leave behind
Myself

I got outside and Ran
As fast as I could
But then I stopped

I realized how pointless
My struggle was
I can't outrun myself.

However far or fast I run
I can't outrun myself
And that's the truth of life

You can't outrun yourself

Um...
I went on the Internet.....





And nothing else?
Shoot.

You make me glad
I use ink, not blood
To write with,
Other days
You make me wish
I used razor blades,
Not fountian pens.

Some days I wonder if to you it's a blessing that you're not allowed to talk to me but you don't know how to stop so you don't end it when you come back. I wonder if you realize how little I cared for you the first two months we talked and how I never realized what the word love meant when I said it until the first time you left. I don't think I even knew how much you meant to me until now and now is exactly when I can't tell you. Sometimes I wonder if you want to come back but then I realize if you didn't you'd have told me because we were always honest with each other. Sometimes I wonder but then I comfort myself and smile becauseI know you love me.

I've had a few issues I was taking care of. I'm sorry I forgot to come on here.
But I'll get up a poem before tomorrow night, promise.

To be depressed
And suicidal.
Crying at the littlest things
Being so upset
You'd end your life
To end your pain.
And some part of me
Knew
leave
now
I'd end my life if I stayed
I had the power
I have the means
And I just wanted it
To
stop
stop
stop
So I ran
I got out of that house
And I ran
To a friend's,
No one was home
Didn't go back
Run
Continue
On to the park
Farther
The woods
Old house
And I sat there
Sobbing
For an hour
Wondering why I didn't
Stay at home
And die
Why I was alive
If I had tried
To not be,
If I had hurt myself
And never told anyone
If I had tried
And almost done it
Almost done it
But hesitated
Why
I don't know
I wanted it to end
But I hit continue
Instead of give up
And gave myself a second chance
That goodness knows I don't deserve
I sat in the woods
And wondered
I told myself
The world would be okay
The world would be better
If I wasn't here
But I made myself stay
And I don't know why
Crying in the woods
I found thorns
Instead of razor blades
And stabbed my wrists
Stabbed my veins
Not sharp enough
But I can't go home
I'd die
So I stayed
And walked around
And I found my feet carried me home
So I went in
And
I found my blades
And I took them to the veins
But I didn't do it
I luv d
Somehow
Someway
I stopped
Myself
And I hit
Continue
For some reason
But I still wanted to
This is what it means
To be depressed
And suicidal

You can't keep Storms
and Stars apart.
They're inseparable,
joined together.

You always have both,
you can't have just one.
Bound together,
sealed forever.

The bond they have
can never break.
With Storms there are Stars,
with Stars there are Storms.

There's always both,
two, not one.
Never alone,
for they have each other.

You can't keep Storms
and Stars apart.
Whatever it takes,
they'll be together.

Storms and Stars are always together.

It's been a year
Filled with problems
But now you're here
Almost as if to solve them
And I can't live in a world without you now

All my life
I've been searching for you
How did I survive
In this world before you
'cause I don't wanna live another day without you now

This is the best thing
The best thing that could be happening
And I think you would agree
The best thing is that it's
Happening to you and me

All I'm gonna have
Is all that you can give me
And I'll give right back
Everything I have in me
'cause nothing ever felt as right
As this does right now

I'll go back to before we met
Can I erase the past
Try harder to forget 'cause
Nothing will ever be as good as here and now

'cause when I looked into your eyes
And you dared to stare right back
You should've said "Nice to meet you, I'm your other half"

And this is the best thing
The best thing that could be happening
And I think you would agree
The best thing is that it's happening
This is the best thing (the best thing)
The best thing that could be happening (the best thing)
And I think you would agree (whoooaaa whooaa)
The best thing is that it's
Happening to you and me

Always knew
I'd find someone
I never dreamt
It'd be like this
You've surpassed
All that I've hoped for (and ever wished)
And I'm tryin'
So hard
With all my heart and mind
To make your life
As good as you've made mine

This is the best thing (the best thing)
The best thing that could be happening (the best thing)
And I think you would agree (whooaaa)
The best thing is that it's happening to you and me

The best thing is that it's happening to you and me
The best thing is that it's happening to you and me

(The best thing) The best thing that could be happening
(The best thing) I think you would agree
The best thing is that it's happening to you and me

Is falling in love with all the characters you write

To bring us together,
But that has to stop.
We can't wait
Until people have died
To unite
Please, join me
If you find a poem
Saying the person will commit suicide,
Try and help
For Andy
(Even though he's not dead)

I hate you. No. Not really. I hate how you can never talk to me and when you can it's not for very long and I hate how you make me so happy when you're there even though I know that as soon as you leave the happiness will be gone, I hate the way I just have to talk about you whenever anything connects to you, I guess what I'm saying is I hate that I love you, I hate that I fell in love with the one boy online whose parents don't want him to be in love, I hate all the little things that make me love you.
On that note, I love you. I love talking to you and  he way you make me feel and how even the thought of you can raise a smile to my face I love how you remained in love with me even though your parents don't want you to and they punish you, against all odds you still love me and I know you're the only person who would still love me, however badly I've treated you you came back and always tell me you love me, you remember me and keep going when everything in life tells you to quit, I love the way you still argue with me about how I'm better to you and how you love me more, I'm so lucky to even have met you, and somehow through crazy means I can't understand you love me and I just want to tell you I love you and even when I hate you I love all the things I hate I love you Daniel, Thunderclaw, whatever name you go by I love you.

To make this a challenge,
I'm doing me.
So, good things on me....
I can write pretty well
I finished NaNoWriMo
Uh.....
I type pretty fast when I get into it
I'm in chorus
I can do school stuff if I try
Uh....
I'm alive?
Is that a good thing?
Not everyone hates me
I may have a few friends
Um.....
I don't know any more
But thank you Andy
For that challenge,
It sort of did help.

Heck with this world
I hate it
I'm leaving
*forever

i have an unhealthy obsession with sharp objects
I'm cutting myself
I can't wait for Tuesday
I can't wait to be alone at home so I can blast music and get out my blades
Can you please stop? It's annoying
JUST FREAKING STOP ALREADY GET AWAY I HATE YOU LEAVE
can this be over?*
Can I please just die already?

I'm fine
I'm not okay at all but you don't care so I'll lie to you
I accidentally hit my wrist on something, it doesn't hurt
I didn't mean to say ow and I need some excuse
sorry
I get it I'm a freaking idiot and loser quit reminding me
whatever
It means a lot to me but I don't want you to know
go away*
I need you but I'm testing you to see if you can tell and if you care

Okay honestly I want beautiful words for Andy but all I can get is a bunch of word **** about how I can't believe it, won't believe it.... So I'll just say for now that Andy is honestly the best person I ever met and though he is... Not not going to type that word fill it in yourself.... He lives on in our hearts forever. Someday someone should put his poetry into just a book because it deserves to be shown to the world. We love you Andy<3

I'm sorry, okay?
I get it
You hate that I talk about Him.
I'm sorry
He's the best thing
In my whole life
He makes me smile
And laugh
And has freaking kept me alive
I'm sorry I talk about him
So much
I'm sorry it annoys you
I'm sorry I have to mention him
He's my answer
My everything
The better part of me
The only part of me I can love
Don't scorn that
Please
I'm sorry I annoy you
I'm sorry I talk about him too much
I'm sorry that I won't stop
But I'm not sorry I love him
I won't  Ever be sorry for that

You may not always shine
As you go barefoot over stone.
You might be so long together
    Or you might be alone.
And you won't find that love comes easy
    but that love is always right.
  So even when dark clouds gather
      You will be the light.

Have you ever stopped to wonder at the trees, or look up at the clouds with awe, or just think about the world? Sometime, I bet you have, when you were a child.
As children, we marvel at everything in the world.
Everything's amazing.
You know, children are right. Everything is amazing.
Look around you. everyone here had a one in a million, million, million chance of existing, yet they do. One in a number too big to count to in a million lifetimes, and yet you all exist. Think of the world, now. Every part of it, the trees, the grass, every particle of water and  air, had a one in an amazingly high number chance of existing. Combine, the odds of this world existing the way it does is nearly impossible.
When you believe you aren't special, remember. Look around and remember you had a one in a million million million shot of existing. But you do.
Maybe, just once a day, stop. Look around you, and remember.
Remember everything here faced nearly impossible odds, and yet it's here
Maybe, next time you face impossible odds, you'll remember: you already have done the impossible
You exist.

Another Friday.
I get up
False hope
That this one could ever
Be like that Friday

That Friday night
When he came back
And made my night
Even better
A night I will never forget

And as 7 comes
And passes by
I reload the page
A million times
While sitting there crying.

I wish he'd come back
I'm empty without him
He left me a shell
Empty, worthless,
Waiting for him to return.

I guess I should write a poem
but all I can do is cry
because it's six months past
and you're not here.

Darling, what kind of time do you call this?
it's late
too late
and I've missed you

oh I miss the old days,
"our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along, because
we know that none of them have felt this way."

I guess what I'm saying, in simpler words, would be I miss you
and I love you
and come back to me
please

It used to hurt with every breath I took because I didn't want to live if you weren't with me
Now it hurts with every one I let out because I don't want to let go.

What do you give the guy you love for Christmas?
I gave him poetry,
He loved it
I gave him a song
He loved it
I gave him all the words I could think of
And he loved them
But what can I get him now?

To us?
Oh wait
There was no us,
But we
Not we
I can't have you
And me on the same line
There's not we
No us
No you and me
But you have changed so much from seventh grade when you
And I  were friends
Maybe not friends
But you
And I could get along and have friendly competition and joke and play games and laugh together
And this year you hate
Me
You ignore
Me, I was sick and
You didn't even ask if
I was okay or if I needed help
You would have done that last year before you found out
I liked
you like that should change anything but it did and now
You ignore
me and turn away and won't even talk to me why what happened to
you and
I being friends what happened to the friendship I felt towards
You it just evaporated when you started ignoring
Me and hating me and now
I hate me because of
You
I can barely even smile
You make
Me hate myself and believe I'm worthless and should be kept away from everyone well
You and
I were friends I wish I could forget because something happened to the friendship that belonged to you And
I

The familiar ache in my heart
as I know I want to write
there's a poem inside me
waiting to come out
waiting to be printed on paper.

The scratching of my pen on paper
the ink forming letters, then words
not glancing at the clock
not wanting to stop
wishing I could freeze time

Glances from other people
pencils scratching their papers
rushing to get their work done
a feeling I know well
and can connect with now.

Bell, please don't ring
wait a little longer?
seconds tick by cruelly
counting down without mercy
they match the beat of my heart

People packing up stuff
anxious to leave
for once I am not with them
how can I want to leave?
Here I can write, I am free.

And what do you want
From me
What?
Why do you talk to me
But you didn't reply
What

I don't even know

Why do I think of the best poem ideas
When I can't write them down?

I did it
I won NaNoWriMo
AND I'M FREAKING PROUD OF IT
HECK YEAH
FIRST TIME WINNER!!!! :)

Have you ever stopped to wonder at the trees, or look up at the clouds with awe, or just think about the world? Sometime, I bet you have, when you were a child.
As children, we marvel at everything in the world.
Everything's amazing.
You know, children are right. Everything is amazing.
Look around you. everyone here had a one in a million, million, million chance of existing, yet they do. One in a number too big to count to in a million lifetimes, and yet you all exist. Think of the world, now. Every part of it, the trees, the grass, every particle of water and  air, had a one in an amazingly high number chance of existing. Combine, the odds of this world existing the way it does is nearly impossible.

So far away but you could be with me now </3

It's because I don't want to stop talking to you

and I can't love this much baby,
and love you from this far