Thinking about getting a tattoo
But, I take pause...
Looking in the mirror
I see my body’s already covered
Marked in invisible ink
Every inch of my bare skin
Painted with the joy and pain of living
From my heart to my hips
Color faded here, but poppin’ over there
Memories designed by your hands
Others etched on my own
A collection that makes me smile
Among a few pieces I regret
So, about getting a tattoo...
I guess I’m not ready
Because I can’t think of a tattoo
Meaningful enough, yet
To write over any of the life I’ve lived

I’m addicted to the feel of cold metal sliding across bare flesh
Addicted to the instant
when nothing marks smooth skin
immediately before
red rivers rapidly rise
painting a once white canvas
with a flood of emotion,
tears on my cheeks,
sobs caught in my throat,
numbness replaced by pain & sadness.
Addicted to the imperfection
of red welts and dotted scabs that follow,
fingers drawn like magnets
to the texture of healing skin,
tracing over and over and over now fading ridges
Amazed that I am strong enough
to heal myself over and over and over.
Convincing myself that I am strong enough.
I find strength in my weakness.

I fell in love with candlelight-
in my darkness, she shone so bright.
She danced the breeze, lit up the night,
her glow consumed my very sight.

But wax and wick both burn away,
and candlelight just cannot stay.
As sure as night turns into day,
that fickle flame will go astray.

But for a moment, through the storm,
she lit my world, she kept me warm,
then flickered out, as is the norm
for candlelight, its fleeting form.

I fell in love with candlelight,
for but a moment, all was right.
Her glow, her dance, consumed my sight,
and faded out at end of night.

I have been so lucky to know a dog...

To know the enduring love of mud puddles and everything pure.

To know joyfulness in a greeting,
and the happiness of eating a stick.

To know gentleness and nuzzling,
and the softness of fur blowing in a breeze.

To know a wagging tail and the thumping of paws on the floor.

I have been so lucky to know a dog...

I want to feel something
Or nothing at all
But emptiness wrapped
In everything at once
Is utterly unbearable

At the wake of morning day
I’m guided far away
Amongst the overgrown gardens and trees
On an endless path to be

Faintest scents of herbs and tea
Scurrying friends chattering beside me
Rising sun dew brushing my fingertips
Alone along forests gaze

friend
best friend
forever friend

where did you go
your warming presence
the glitter in your soul

where did you go
fear

so close to the sun
too frightened

shadows and storms protect you
encompass my aura
terror in your eyes

destruction in action
a shattered atmosphere
are you here?

dissociating
depersonalizing
disposing me

may your soul return soon
come back old friend