I do not love like this
I don't love like this
but I am learning

I burn between kissing you
what I can't have wholly
& somehow I am full
too aware of what I'm doing to be foolish
I rule out sound
birds
birds
you've taken both turns
I am laying
I am left
but am not without

I must front torture to embrace love -
without fire, I cannot burn
I cannot live without that heat
char instead of ink just to write it down

we are singing a song now
quiet
you are asleep & I am dancing in the heaviness of your breathing

this bed is not a nightclub
your knees hurt
& I have never seen anything so beautiful

Wherever I walk
always there is an absence
walking beside me..

And your intellect is wasted.
Let me tell you, your words will lose their depth.
Because she hears them and smiles,
but they are hollow to her.
They are just an extension of you.
Just another second, third, hundredth chance at half-assed affection that won't last the week.

I wonder what will become of your words.
Of your presence that fills all spaces in conversation.
I wonder what will happen to your heart.
That is more authentic than most and so contrasts her own.
Your mind that follows no one else.
And eyes which love your mother
and long patiently for the sea.
Your head that is tighter than your hold on me.

If she manages to ensnare you
with her black lips and hungry heart,
then I will forever wonder
If she is pulling these things apart.

There is this deep, evasive emptiness
that never ceases to lack control.
That conquers and escapes,
that stirs quiet chaos in my soul.

And there is this voice of vacant words,
which implore me to find structure instead.
But the broken writer cannot rebuild.
The unabridged poet is dead.

And I look at this self pity,
embodied in this girl.
And I have no inclination-
no desire
to be her.

he held my hand
and i felt a tear in my eye
as he said that i'd grown into a beautiful young woman
in a moment i felt like i was five years old all over again
he aged a little
but he aged well
there's Oum Kalthoum playing in the background
and i can feel wind on my face
yesterday he removed the wheels on my bike
and yesterday he taught me not to fear planes
and today he's teaching me how to drive
and tomorrow i'm scared i won't need him
to teach me anything