The red rose on my chest
shows the life that I left.
So much love I wanted to give,
it was my reason to live.
But thorns were caressing me,
loving and hurting me,
leaving scars on my skin.
I covered them in darkness
and tried to smile
but kept screaming within.
Forgotten, unloved, broken...
a dying heart.
Now everything that's left of me
is this red rose on the chest
of a frostbitten soul.

I thought

we’ve been    through it all

but you            threw it all

 away.

-

nothing is left
                             now but
  
my broken pieces

What if
I had fallen to my knees
On the cold parking lot concrete
Tears washing over my cheeks
And cries no one should ever have to hear
Bellowing out from beneath my ribs
Screaming at the sky
Looking up at your face
Forcing you
(and everyone else)
To see me in this godforsaken state
Of absolute chaos
Heartbreak
In it's rawest form
What if I had begged you to stay?
What if I'd told you I can't do this without you?
What if I'd told you how much I needed you
What if I did anything other than fighting back the tears
Maybe for myself, maybe for you,
Mostly for the crowd of people gathering
Saying their goodbyes
Anxiously looking around to bear witness to everyone else's reactions
And I didn't want to be that girl
That girl who falls to the ground
Kicking and screaming and crying and begging
But what if I was?
What if I was any girl other than the one I pretended to be that day
The one that held her tongue and kept her mouth shut because she knew the second she opened it to speak she would sob
The one that wrapped her arms around you for the last time,
and the one that let go
The one that couldn't bear to watch you walk away
So she kissed you goodbye
Got back in the car
And drove home
What if i wasn't that girl who didnt allow herself to completely fall apart until she was alone in the privacy of her own home?
What if instead I'd made a scene,
Doing what everything inside me so desperately wanted to
Grabbing hold of your hand and refusing to let go
Losing the facade of confidence
The charade of strength
But I'm not that girl
And I never will be
So each and every time you leave
I kiss you goodbye
I unclench my fists and retract my anchors
I untether my heart from it's human home
And I put on a brave face
Maybe for myself, maybe for you,
Or maybe
For that girl.

Deep in the sea
I scream aloud for help
But no one was there

Nobody hear my voice
I fall deeper without joy

My eyes close slowly
The heart beats weaker
But the inner strength gets bigger

I realize that I am not paralyzed
I am strong
I can swim high

I reach the surface
They see a flame in my eye
And started to cry

I wipe their tears
And teach them
How to be nice

Now I walk alone
Without carrying heavy stones
In my whole life.