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 Dec 2015 Lucy Ryan
niamh
Roar
 Dec 2015 Lucy Ryan
niamh
In poetry I find peace
And a voice that roars
 Dec 2015 Lucy Ryan
Raf Reyes
What am I still holding on to?
Why do I still seem to care so much for you?

You never really seem to care anymore anyway

When I reach out to you, you block me out
When I try to talk to you, you close yourself from me
Every word I say passes through your ears
Every smile I give leaves you emtionless
Everything I do goes by unnoticed
Brushed off by a mere swipe of a hand
Every poem I write and every song I sing, they're all for you
But you didn't even seem to care
Brick by brick, you've built a wall around yourself
A wall too high to climb
A wall too thick to push my way through
A wall too strong to for me take down
Forcing me to give all my effort
To take each and every brick in my grasp
And bring them down
One by one
Leaving my hands broken
tired
and bruised

Let's face it: We're drifting, and that *****
Our daily conversations have run dry
We used to talk about our dreams, our interests, our passions
Our plans for the world to see
People we want to be
Our pasts, our present and our futures
We used to talk about OURSELVES
But now I feel like you've run out of interest for me
And I feel like every word I say takes so much effort
Because I try so hard to keep the conversation alive
Even though deep down
I know it's slowly dying
Because I don't want to let it die
Because I don't ever wanna stop talking to you
Because I don't want to drift from the person I used to spend hours on end having endless chats with
Maybe we're just running out of things to talk about
And I don't really know why

Sometimes I feel that us drifting is one sided
Like I spend all this time thinking about you
When I wonder if you even realize that I still exist
I'm still here
I think about how long we haven't talked
I think about our last texts, our last messages
When you probably don't even remember the conversations we've had

So what the hell am I still holding on to?

I'm holding on to the memories we've made
I'm holding on the conversations we used to share
I'm holding on the the laughs, the smiles, the good times we've
had
I'm holding on to the poems
the letters
the songs
All written in your name
Hoping that someday you'll find the time
To read them
To remember and look back on what once was
But most of all, I'm holding on to those 3 words that you said
"I Love You!!!"

I miss you, I really do
I miss the old us
I miss our friendship

And it's sad to think that I'm still here
Holding on to all those things
All the things that we've been through
When you've already let go
A long time ago
 Dec 2015 Lucy Ryan
Ryan Galloway
Us
 Dec 2015 Lucy Ryan
Ryan Galloway
Us
Though there are
Nights in which
You and me sit
At a stifling distance
It is this darkness
By which I define us
Not you and me specifically
But rather the concept
The idea of a comprehensive
All inclusive
Sense of us
That though we distance ourselves
We are never separate
There is no distance we could run
Which would tear us from this existential thought
That we are one and should treat others as such
That service to others is service to oneself
That even in this, the darkest of nights,
In which the treacherous and the heartbroken
Walk the same sidewalks
That we belong to the same heart
And when one bleeds, it starves us all.
Some nights I can't bring myself to turn on the bathroom light because I don't want to see the scars.

Some nights I can't sleep because the pain of the day is heavy on my shoulders.  

Some nights I cry and sob because I feel like I can't do it and I'm not enough.

Some nights I pick up the blade and I can't bring myself to put it back down again .

Some nights I just want to sleep and never wake back up.

Some nights I gasp and shake from the cold and fear.

Some nights I hum softly because I can't stand the silence.
I just felt like I needed to wright this down
 Dec 2015 Lucy Ryan
Earl Jane


I don't understand,
Why people would say I am good,
I am not good,
I've been bad,
I am just trying to be good.

I don't understand,
Why people would say I am beautiful,
I am not beautiful!
When did I even become beautiful????
I never was,
And will never be!

I don't understand,
Why people would say I have a good voice,
Did they even hear me?
I sing only in my room,
My voice should only be heard by me,
'Cause never in my life did I have had a good voice.

I don't understand,
Why people would say I am smart,
I am never smart,
Never did it happen,
I am dull,
I always fail.

I don't understand,
Why people would say I am lucky,
You don't know my life,
You don't know what I have been dealing with,
I am not lucky,
I am dying and it's not lucky.

I cannot see the good in me,
'Cause I never have good in me,
All are bad with failures,
All are just trying,
But they never work,
All are not enough,
In all I do,
There's always people who look down on me,
And step me hard down to hell,
'Cause I don't do enough,
And never did I do enough.


Sometimes I always feel,
For many years,
That I just wanna hAng myself,
Or cut my throat,
Or overdose myself,
Drink toxic stuff,
Jump from a high building,
In any way I could **** myself,
Just to be free from pain,
It's ironic I am good giving advice to other people,
They said I helped them,
Never did they know,
That I never helped myself,
I guess it's better,
We can help other people,
Though honestly,
I am never good at advising,
Since I can't even hear my own words.

I don't understand,
Why life is just so unfair to me,
I can only see darkness,
Where's the light?




© Earl Jane
♥ E.J.C.S.
Just wanna save this... :) I am okay, I am just overacting.....
 Dec 2015 Lucy Ryan
Tupelo
After the towers fell,
My father went off to war,
12 months later he brought back the battlefield
We didn’t talk about it much as it just hung there,
Afraid of the left over land mines, we would tiptoe
around the room, through the kitchen, back to bed.
-
My mother is a bottle,
Empty now but the glass corpse still outlines her frame,
4 years sober, going on 5 after her brother click-clacked his way out of our lives,
I tattooed the day he passed on my arm,
1. to remember him and 2. to know that today is better than what my life once was,
-
I read somewhere that conversations are like knife fights,
Ive chosen my words carefully like dull blades,
So if I am ever to strike a nerve it won’t leave anyone bleeding,
I am afraid of blood.
I hate the smell,
the taste, the color of the stains it leaves,
The consistency,
I am afraid of bleeding,
I am too vulnerable in this world to hurt anymore,
Every breath closer to the minute i’ll break,
I am afraid to break and i worry about how many pieces I will leave in my wake
and if anyone will be there to pick them up and glue me back together,
Today I am happier than most days in these past years,
She has taught me patience,
All I worry about now is losing her warmth
a slam I've been working with
 Dec 2015 Lucy Ryan
Mike Hauser
What went through your mind, oh Wondrous Creator
When as baby Jesus you let out your first cry
Did you know at that moment you were the Savior
Of this fallen world and all of mankind

Did you recognize your mother Mary
And see her as Your special child
Only you God at such tender a moment
Could give us your all at such tender a time

Did your first sight at creation astound you
As you looked through the blur of finite
From the beginning you'd always seen clearly
In the presence of your Fathers light

Did the warmth of God's Spirit surround you
As the December chill settled over the land
Were you holding the hand of the Father
In the transition from Son of God to Son of man

When you heard the first bleat of the lambs
Were your thoughts on being the shepherd of man
That would lead all those gone astray
Did you already know of that day

These are questions that I tend to ponder
On the greatest gift the world's ever known
I will praise you for all of the wonder
The first Christmas that your love, my Savior was born
Merry Christmas my friends!
 Dec 2015 Lucy Ryan
Destre'
I get frustrated when people make assumptions about poets
They're sad
They're mad
They're all the same

Arn't we all poets? In one way or another?
Or couldn't we be?
Poetry is everywhere, in everything.
They're not "just words" and I don't think poets are one specific select group of people.
Everyone could be a poet, in one way or another.
Some just use different mediums: a poet of paint on canvas arranging it in a certain way to invoke a certain feeling of sorts.
A poet of body movement set to music.
A poet in there head thinking up combinations of words but deciding there best left unsaid, undocumented.
There can't truely be a poet stereotype... Because we're all poets... Or could be..In one way or another.
I once read something titled "Just words"  that kind of blew my mind and really made me think about things and realize that it really is kind of at the essences of everything.
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