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 May 2018 smokey basil
Jack S
Lonely
 May 2018 smokey basil
Jack S
Hey it’s been a while

Yeah i know

How’ve you been

Im alright.
Actually I’m not

Whats wrong?

I think I’m sad

What do you mean you think you’re sad? You’re either sad or not sad

Its not that easy

Whats not that easy?

I dont know...
I think I’m just lonely
I hate being alone

Well you’re not alone. Right?
I mean you have me at lest

Yeah but its different

Hows it different?

Idk its weird

Trust me I already think you’re weird.
Tell me

I don’t know.
I want so badly to be loved or someone to love but everytime i get the chance i ruin it
I’m my own worst enemy

What do you mean?
I love you.
So does your mom
And your dad
Plenty of people love you

Yeah but its different

How?

I want someone that I can hold.
Someone thats always there
Happy and sad
Thick and thin
Someone that I can just hug and it won’t be this weird semi-romantic/semi-friendly hug because its already clear that they’re the person I want to spend the rest of my life with

Dude you’re 17
You’ll get that someday
For now you just gotta wait and make the most of each moment
Have fun with your friends
Maybe have a few flings and just relax

But I want that now
I’m so ready to be in love

Don’t worry it’ll come eventually

I know
But it just ***** living right now
I’m so lonely
 May 2018 smokey basil
Ella
Control
 May 2018 smokey basil
Ella
I feel pain too easily
I feel love and cry for the easiest

I'm crying and dying on the inside

Sometimes out of sadness or maybe just anger

I want to punch a wall or maybe even just **** as a test

I wish to not feel anything anymore
For it would be way more easier

Where their is pain there is darkness
And where there is darkness their is dreadful hopeless silence
There's just something about
reading in Spanish
that makes me feel alive.

Sólo hay algo sobre
leer en Español
que me hace sentir vivo.
Spanish has always been a passion of mine. I hope that people realize its beauty. Español siempre ha sido una pasión mía. Ojalá que la gente reconozca su belleza.
 May 2018 smokey basil
kyss
It’s midnight

I’m scared
It’s loud and dark
And the voices have come
To visit again

I’m alone
Staring out my window
Into the dark
Hearing mutters
Coming from a place
I just can’t pinpoint where

I’m cold
Goosebumps covering my body
I’m so out of control
How do I bring myself back
To reality

My imagination runs wild
Anxiety gets the best of me

I lay here
On my floor
Scared
Alone
Cold

It’s midnight
The voices are here
 May 2018 smokey basil
Cello Girl
Deep in the forest,
The dark green forest,
Where the trees sway
In the lively breath of wind,
Their marshmallow heads
Dancing,

Where it is afloat and aflutter
With birdsong,
And the chirps of the playful creek,
The steady burbling of unbridled joy,

Where beauty grows on trees,
In pinks and purples and pollen
In fur and feathers,
In the earth,

There is a pond,
A polished mirror laid gently
On the dewy grass.
An echo of the strokes
Of a child’s painting,
In the sky.
 May 2018 smokey basil
Blossom
Growing a crush
Involves squishing, crunching
The heart
To hold back giant feelings

Falling in love
Is crashing face first into the pavement
Off the cliff of a mountain
Hoping someone catches the fall
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